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Why Bi desires now?
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Why Bi desires now? I joined FriendFinder-x for one primary reason, to find a guy to have sex with. If I find a girl in the process, cool, but that's not my intention right now. So it's got me thinking about why a normally straight guy would be seeking out another guy for sex? I mean, no matter how good the experience is, I won't be settling down and picking out<b> curtains </font></b>with him. But isn't sex with another man gay? Society thinks so. In fact most people, if they knew, would think I'm some confused freak. Being Gay is OK, being Bi isn’t. I recently told a girl in an evolving relationship about my desires. What a mistake. She left so fast there were flames in her wake. Even here on FriendFinder-x, Bi men don't quite fit in, but dam if there aren’t a lot of us. I can't tell you how many guys who list themselves as strait, and searching for women only, are viewing my profile. When I check them out, I match the gender compatibility they have chosen. So even a good number of the strait guys here are curious about taking a walk on the other side of the street. Like them, you could know me for years without any hint of my hidden desires. My ex-wife didn't. My don't. Nor my friends and family either. To the world I'm a masculine heterosexual man. But if I'm not gay, why do I want to rub my hands over a man’s chiseled chest. Why do I want to lick and kiss the length of his hard shaft? To feel it pass my lips to the back of my throat. To feel the heft of his balls. To hear him moan with pleasure and know I did that. To taste his seed and have him lick the remnants from my lips. Then to feel that cock deep inside me. Sounds pretty gay to me. But I know I'm not gay. There is absolutely no scenario where I settle down and live the rest of my years with another man. None! Zero! So where does this desire come from? Does it come from my adolescence? Experimenting in the woods with a neighbor boy when I was 7 or 8? Or when I had just turned 14 and was seduced by a friend of my dad's and his wife. If so, why has it become such a driving force only now, 30 years later. Weird.(Please don't tell me that I was molested. I was a willing participant. That summer advanced my sexual training by 20 years and I wouldn't trade that experience for the world). So anyone else who has identified as strait all their lives, but has developed bi desires later in life want to share their opinions on this? |
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There is a correlation to age and bisexuality, part due to diminishing opportunities, part due to maturity/comfort with oneself as they get older, and partly cuz we spend so much time at high speed getting married, raising a family, focusing on our career, its much later in life when we stop, pause and think about ourselves for a minute. The male on this end was bi from late teens basing that on an incident where an adult male co-worker propositioned me and I was more than willing (this was also an illegal scenario similar to yours) tho nothing came of it. Shortly thereafter, I ended up with a girlfriend and proceeded down the traditional path. With the advent of the internet, it was more easier to see the broader world as it were and this helped form my bisexual thoughts and later to one off experiences. Meeting my current spouse afforded me the opportunity to be out with her, the choice few males make, fortunately she was not only understanding, but figgin turned on. So all of my present bi experiences have been with her, and totally free of guilt, worry, shame and continue to broaden with her encouragement. Despite protests to the contrary, we may all hate labels, but we need them in some form. To split hairs we use the term sexually compatible. Aside from hetro and gay, which to us indicates that one is exclusive to that gender and has no sexual or emotional interests the other way. There is a scale developed by psychologists that purports to measure ones sexual preference. There are also situational things such as being in prison or gay for pay in which the person may very well be straight except for the mitigating circumstances. We see a trend on this site that many bi males are in their 50s, and suspect that is due to lack of available female partners, which we would also chalk up to situational. Not all members of the gay community believe in bisexuality and that likely stems from the fact that gay/lesbians are on the front lines fighting for equality and rights of which the foundation is that they are born this way. Well then along comes a bisexual whom seems perfectly capable of making a choice one way or the other. Worse still, we get to get our rocks off all the while blending in with the greater society. These are generalizations of course as there are many out bisexuals. Then you have the hypocrisy even within the swingers community and society in general that male bisexuals are gross, but female bisexuals are highly sought after. Recently had a debate on another blog where the perception was that bi males are more std risky - ludicrous, all sex without protection is risky or that a bi guy will ass r**e a straight male couple if a fit of lust. But how does one defend that against all the raging cum dump, glory hole, proclamations of proudly blowing 6 guys in an afternoon profiles that constitute 20-30% of the bi male profiles on FriendFinder-x. This brings us to the what is gay question. We actually use this to screen others out. We accept that not everyone is into all sex acts, not all men will do anal on a woman, not all women want anal done to them, but when a guy tells us that a specific sex act is "gay" to us, he is not sexually compatible. Many males have different limits, some will only engage in bi activities if a female is present, some only oral only, some no kissing, etc, etc. And we can respect others limits, we only ask that they have come to terms with them. You seem to have drawn your limits at your and identified that. It's not that act that makes you gay, its how you feel about yourself. There should be no angst. I am not gay, you are not gay. We know this likely just as ardently as we know what flavor of ice cream we like. We dont know why, it just is. Vanilla is my favorite and most of my life I've eaten and thoroughly enjoyed it. But every once in awhile I add chocolate topping to it (not an analogy for bbc..lol) sometimes I will fill the bowl half and half with van and choc, but I never eat a bowl of choc ice cream...well cuz I'm not gay.
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I think that just like me, you are just sexually open. I like cock best, but I want to experience what a woman would be like. I want to feel another woman's desire, her ability to orgasm and to kiss those lips afterward. But like you, I don't actually want a relationship with one, one where I would pick out the curtains, as you put it. I don't want to raise my kids with a woman, or go to her for all my sex. We'll just have to keep pursuing what we want. I do know how much easier it is for a bi-woman, though I consider myself more bi-curious. I have had one sexual experience with a woman and it was not all that satisfactory but it was in the moment and I took my chance with it. Kitkat The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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