Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > rlr88051000 > My Blog |
I Have a Relationship With a Married Man
|
I Have a Relationship With a Married Man I'm Having My First Ever Affair With A Married Man. For the first time in my life, I am having an affair with a married man. It's so ironic considering that throughout my entire life I have ALWAYS looked down upon adultery and swore that I would NEVER get involved with another woman's husband. I always said I would never stoop to such a low level. But life doesn't always work out the way we planned, and that is what has brought me to this current situation. I met this man at work a few months after I moved across the country to begin a fresh new life after realizing there was no future for a single professional career woman like me in the Conservative rural Midwest. I took a job as a waitress in a ***** club in order to support myself while I worked on rebuilding a professional career for myself in a new state. I met this man at the club one night while I was working. I was instantly attracted to him because he was sexy as Hell and looked a lot like my ex-boyfriend whom I was still grieving over after he suddenly abandoned me to move 4 hours away for a few months to live with a friend of his on a college<b> campus </font></b>so he could party it up without any responsibilities and have sex with every wild and loose college girl he crossed paths with. This man and I were both instantly attracted to each other and he asked for my phone number. At first he never called or texted me like he said he would, but after he came back to the club a second time a few weeks later and saw me again, he began texting me all the time and we slowly became friends. He would often come into the club with his friends and he always talked to me and flirted with me when I was working in there. I don't remember how this particular conversation started, but a few months later we were in the club while I was working, and I was sitting on his lap and we began talking about finally getting together and having sex. It was during this conversation that he suddenly told me he was married. He asked me if I had an issue with that and if I would still be willing to be with him even though he was married. I was shocked and disappointed to hear that he was married, because until then I had no clue that he even had a woman of any kind...I had assumed he was single because he was always out with his friends. I asked him why he was willing to cheat on his wife and he told me that she is a dancer at another club in another city. He said that he constantly worries that she will meet someone else at the club she works at and begin cheating on him....so I guess he feels that he needs to "beat her to the punch" in other words. He also said that they did not date very long before getting married and that they rushed into getting married in order to help speed up his naturalization process (He is not yet a legal citizen in this country). Anyway, I agreed to this arrangement and told him I had no problem with him being married (I will further explain my reasons for this later on in this post). We began sleeping together later that week and have been meeting up at my place at least once a week to hang out and have sex when his wife is away at work or whenever he is able to steal some free time away from home. Several of his friends know about me and have even hung out together with us at my place. They even refer to him as my "boyfriend" in front of he and I. Apparently he trusts them enough to not mention our affair to his wife. He texts and calls me every other day or so to ask how I am and whatnot. He has several pet names for me and he is constantly giving me little lectures about what to do and not do to be safe in this new city...such as lecturing me to lock my doors, telling me where I should and should not go jogging, lecturing me not to drink too much at work, etc. So I guess part of him cares about me a LITTLE BIT. I know that what I'm doing is immoral and wrong and that it is bound to end one day and possibly even end in a bad way. But I honestly just don't care anymore. I have accepted this situation and resigned myself to it. Why you ask? Because almost every single real relationship I've ever had with a man has ended when he suddenly broke the news to me that he had found another woman and wanted to be with her instead (or in the case of my most recent ex, found A BUNCH of other women he wanted to sleep with instead). All of my other relationships consisted of me anxiously waiting for the moment when my boyfriend would drop the dreaded bomb on me and suddenly announce that he no longer wanted to be with me and leave me. Nothing can quite prepare you for that horrible shock, and it tears you to the core. And that is why I finally decided to "date" a married man instead...because with this situation, there are no awful surprises to constantly fear. With this situation, I already know there is another woman, so I don't have to constantly worry that he will get his head turned by another woman and suddenly leave me. All I have to do is learn to accept that this other woman is in his life and learn to deal with it the best I can. Basically, I have to learn how to accept being second best...being #2 in his life. I have to accept that I am not his top priority and that there is another woman in his life that he loves far more than me no matter how much time we spend together, no matter how much we enjoy each other's company, no matter how much we understand each other, and no matter how much sweet attention he lavishes onto me. It's rough dealing with the fact that we can't go out together in public, even together with a group of friends, because he's paranoid about his wife finding out about me. So I have to settle for spending time with him at my place only. It's rough not being able to call or text him whenever I want for fear that his wife will happen to be nearby and see it. And it's rough knowing that when he's not with me, he's spending time with his wife and going out in public with her...something he and I cannot do. But in all reality, this is probably the best I'm ever going to get. I can't hope or expect a man to ever want to commit to me and only me, because experience has taught me that it's just not possible and never going to happen. They are always very sweet, loving, and attentive for a few months and then suddenly turn their backs on me when a better female catches their eye or when they suddenly go through a typical and irrational "I need my space and freedom" phase. At least with this man, I can enjoy his sweet words and attention and not have to worry that he will suddenly fall for another woman and leave me, because he is ALREADY WITH another woman and has STILL chosen to have me in his life. And in a way, I guess it makes me feel good to know that he is attracted to me enough to cheat on his wife, who is very pretty (I've seen photos of her). Does this post reek of low self-esteem and self-respect? Probably so. But I'm just being brutally honest about how I feel and why I'm doing what I'm doing. It is what it is. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but this is the deck of cards I've been dealt to work with right now. So feel free to comment and offer words of advice and perspective, but please spare me the judgement and insults about how I'm an evil, selfish, home-wrecking wh-re/sl-t. I already know what I'm doing is wrong and stupid. |
|||
1 post 3/7/2014 11:05 am |
its ok iwill fuck u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
Become a member to create a blog
