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The real meaning FWB and
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The real meaning FWB and Thank you to my new friend, who gave me knowledge that my thoughts on this subject are not limited to just me. I know many people will not agree with me, but hopefully if just one person feels as i do, there is comfort and strength in that. Let me preface by stating that I was married for 16 years and have been divorced for 7 years. Back in the day, When you were interested in someone, either you or the other would ask you out on a date. If it went well, you went on a 2nd date, etc. You both were interested in your family, siblings, beliefs politically, religiously, personally. You invested your full self. If it did't work, you ended it. If not, you kept dating, learning more about each other. During the last 7 years, I've learned that people don't do that any more. The norm is Friends with Benefits. Then they add "no drama" to their expectations. At first, my thought of drama was divorced couples fighting or parents with bad relationships with their . I mean no one wants to get with someone and add that to their life! Through experience I've learned that it means "I don't care to know anything about you except to meet up and have sex". "Then we can share the nicities of how our and work are going, but nothing really about ME" IT's the norm. Most of the men on here are workaholics and want someone to have sex with when THEY make time in their schedule, which isn't often. the norm is no conversation or text until a day or 2 before, mostly last minute (hours), to meet up. Then its limited to either's residence. No going out to enjoy the sport activities, dinner, symphony, dancing. Yes, I've played the game too. What happened to enjoying activities of life with someone? Sex is just one facet. Bottom line is, it's insulting. Its empty and meaningless. Yes it fulfills a TEMPORARY need but that's it. Its ironic because men say they want it all the time. Yet when they only get with you once or twice a month, WHAT? Either they have many women as friends with benefits or work too much. I miss being the only woman on a mans mind. Not just during sex. Nobody said anything about marriage or falling in love. It seems that people are afraid of that. Being in love and loving someone is the most amazing thing. But when you define FWB up front, limitations have already been set, emotionally. Honestly, its sad. The sad part is that its accepted. I had a recent FWB, old bf, who defined it this way. "We can get together, netflix, chill and provide relief and satisfaction but when someone else comes along then no harm in closing the door on that intimate connection". Thats not respect at all. The only difference between old school dating and Friends With Benefits are that you've told me upfront i'm not<b> worthy </font></b>of anything more than a fuck. Yet you expect to invest the same amount of time, effort and thought in getting together yet lacking true interest the learning about me. Thats too much drama for you! Our society is becoming emotionless, callous. Stop defining everything and let things work out as they should, naturally. for those who think the same as me: if all anyone wants is a friend with benefits with no drama, then tell them they can move on because everyone's life is a drama and if they not willing to share theirs, then they are in no way<b> worthy </font></b>of our time, attention, effort, much less, our fuck. We don't have to settle! |
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In order for it to work, "Friend's with Benefits" must emphasize the "Friends" part of that equation. When my former FWB and I got together, we almost always went out and did something together, even if it was just a long ride on my Harley. I invited her, and she attended several life events in my family. For all practical purposes, she was my girl friend. However, behind the scenes, we both acknowledge that marriage was NOT an option for either of us. But that didn't stop us from caring about and loving each other. Now that its over (I had to move for my career), I miss her a lot.
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3/27/2016 12:04 pm |
Yes spending quality times together besides intimacy builds strong friendship. Yet are most people afraid of being hurt or heartbroken?
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conventional wisdom...
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Hum....very intresting, but FWB can turn into love or marriage If the chemistry is there... I still/Wantodou2
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3/27/2016 5:19 pm |
So glad, its not just me!
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It is what it is.
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