Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > kzoopair > Take two- they're small |
Crickets
|
Crickets Crickets (from my personal archives) Most men are probably assholes, at least, in the eyes of their mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends…Ok, pretty much any woman. Not all men are insensitive clods, to be sure, as long as Alan Alda and Phil Donahue are still alive, which, I think they are , even though they don't look like it. But there are times when we demonstrate our worth. Like for example when you say you're going to paint the house and you place your ladder under the eaves and then can't remember where you put it and it's too scary to crawl along the edge of the roof looking for it. So you bang on the roof and hope that your husband is hungry enough to eventually come looking for you and help you down. Or…well, we had the following conversation just a few minutes ago. "Bill, there's something weird in the bathtub." "Does it have tattoos, and piercings?" "It's a bug." "Does it look anything like Vincent D'Onofrio?" "Really- it's a bug." "Hand it a towel and give it a little privacy." "It's a really BIG bug." "Hand it a really BIG towel." "No, come and look." I go look. "It's a cricket." "What are you gonna do?" Singing: "Think it over, what you've just said "Think it over in your pretty little head." Confirming that I'm an asshole, but I'm an asshole who's not scared of bugs and who loves Buddy Holly. "Are you gonna get rid of it, or not?" Singing again: "Well, that'll be the day, when you say goodbye Yes, that'll be the day, when you make me cry You say you're gonna leave, you know it's a lie 'Cause that'll be the day when I die." "Should I smash it?" I picked it up, took it outside and released it into the yard, to run free and unrestrained like the wild and unfettered creature that it was meant to be- you know, like capitalism. Would Phil Donahue have been able to do that? Not fucking likely. He'd have recommended that Marlo form a focus group to study the problem and consider the environmental ramifications of his actions, and called for a film crew to document the event. Become a member now and get a free tote bag. |
|||||
|
Great post my friend. Brings back memories. Merry Xmas to you and your beautiful wife hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
| ||||
|
Great post my friend. Brings back memories. Merry Xmas to you and your beautiful wife hugs V Merry Christmas, my friend. Huggggggs B Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
that was so damned funny ... and I was singing along with ya!!!! Merry HO HO Bill xoxo
| ||||
|
Merry Christmas Dayzee! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
Too funny Bill....Merry Christmas. ~~Anais Nin~~
| ||||
|
Best Wishes to you Both [image] Visit my Blog Older but no Wiser and find out more
| ||||
|
Too funny Bill....Merry Christmas. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
OK. No pat on the back for me and Matt Damon. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
Best Wishes to you Both [image] Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
Merry Christmas, Azriel! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
Never did understand a woman's fear of a bug one hundredth the size of herself. lol Thoughts from the Garden...
| ||||
|
Jiminy Cricket!  Well done, sir! You are the Rock Star of Cricket tamers! Thanks for re-sharing this story, which must have come from a different season. My featured post this week: Pulling Fantasy Sex Out of My Ass.
| ||||
|
Never did understand a woman's fear of a bug one hundredth the size of herself. lol Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
Jiminy Cricket! Well done, sir! You are the Rock Star of Cricket tamers! Thanks for re-sharing this story, which must have come from a different season. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
 Cricket......Oops, sorry, you meant summink else. Aw the best tae yoo and the McPam too tae....... 
| ||||
|
Bonjour Kzoopair Je regrette toujours que le tradution ne soit pas parfaite De tout les grillons c'est Jiminy que je préfère Bonne fin d'année et à l'an prochain ♥ Poton ♥ Bisou ♥ Annie ♥ Hello Kzoopair I still regret that the translation is not perfect Of all the crickets it is Jiminy that I prefer Good end of the year and see you next year ♥ Poton ♥ Kiss ♥ Annie ♥
| ||||
|
Bonjour Kzoopair Je regrette toujours que le tradution ne soit pas parfaite De tout les grillons c'est Jiminy que je préfère Bonne fin d'année et à l'an prochain ♥ Poton ♥ Bisou ♥ Annie ♥ Hello Kzoopair I still regret that the translation is not perfect Of all the crickets it is Jiminy that I prefer Good end of the year and see you next year ♥ Poton ♥ Kiss ♥ Annie ♥ Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
I wish the same for you and yours. Happy New Year! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
I catch my own crickets with a glass, sometimes talking to it before I release it. I tend to not want spiders in my house. But now that I have cats, I wonder if they will chase the crickets? Hm, kk The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
| ||||
|
I catch my own crickets with a glass, sometimes talking to it before I release it. I tend to not want spiders in my house. But now that I have cats, I wonder if they will chase the crickets? Hm, kk I leave spiders alone. They eat bugs, a public service. The only time I take them outside is if Pam sees them. I'd have left the cricket alone too but the son-of-a-bitch used all the hot water. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
I can understand wanting to smash yellowjackets or hornets, but an innocuous aphid eating cricket? And even if he had used up all the hot water, at least he didn't leave any pubic hairs on the bar of soap. It's true- my wife may have complaints, but still she has a husband who sings- badly, but with enthusiasm- to her. And I'm not much of a bug smasher. I always feel guilty when I kill a bug that hasn't stung me or shared my drink uninvited. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
Sometimes when you punch the "Quote" button it pops up "Respond" instead and if you aren't paying attention it won't post as the quote you intended. It happened with my first answer to your comment. This is frustrating, the way much of the site is technically. In fact, technically the site is a fucking minefield. It's hard enough communicating with other people both online and off without this site attempting to facilitate the process and butchering it instead. I prefer "quoting" to make my answer rather than "responding", mostly due to habit, I reckon. I've had this discussion before with some members. There is the school of thought which suspects that you're pumping up comments, but is it not these spoilsports themselves who are counting comments? If comment count is unimportant then who cares, right? But I reckon they'd be suspicious of this particularly wordy "Quote" as well. But in fact, I was just feeling talkative and wanted to point out that the buttons here do not always function as they're expected to.  Another pet peeve is a more recent glitch. Formatting a post these days is a crapshoot. I post bold font, size three and in Times New Roman, on every post. The html font and format tags can be entered correctly, but the post will not appear as you have chosen. I have to fiddle with it several times, deleting tags and re-typing them in a new order. Sometimes I end up with exactly the same order that I originally selected after making numerous attempts. I have to confess, this irritates the everlasting hell out of me.  Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
Hope you two had a Great Christmas Kzoo! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
| ||||
|
so, how many times did she smack you? You cannot conceive the many without the one.
| ||||
|
so, how many times did she smack you? Not once. She didn't want to get near that giant radioactive saber toothed cricket. We do not settle our disputes with violence in this home, unless it's got a big stinger and knows how to use it. I even release bees and wasps when I can manage it. Death to all hornets and yellowjackets, though- no exceptions! I won her over to my method of pest management when I revealed my catch and release program for bat control. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
|
Notre vie est un voyage-♦-Dans l'hiver et dans la nuit
Become a member to create a blog
