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Blogs > matt-battler > Captain Caveman finally speaks

Matt's Dating Dictionary - Entry #1  

matt-battler 50M
278 posts
1/7/2016 5:17 am
Matt's Dating Dictionary - Entry #1
Whilst on holiday last year I took a few books with me to fill in the large amount of downtime created by not having internet or TV. One of them was Generation X by Douglas Coupland. Generation X is a very cynical and sharp look at 80s values and is enlivened by lots of footnotes explaining slang terms he'd invented for the book.

To avoid copyright issues I'll only list a few, but here's some footnotes from the book:

Personality Tithe: A price paid for becoming a couple, previously amusing human beings become boring: 'Thanks for inviting us but Noreen and I are going to look at flatware catalogs tonight. Afterward we're going to watch the Shopping Channel.'

Occupational Slumming: Taking a job well beneath one's skill or education level as a means of retreat from adult responsibilities and/or avoiding failure in one's true occupation.

Poor Buoyancy: The realization that one was a better person when one had less money.

Survivulousness: The tendency to visualize oneself being the last remaining person on Earth. 'I'd take a helicopter up and throw microwave ovens down on the Taco Bell'.

While I can't live up to Coupland's brilliant summation of an entire world shaped by an entire generation, here's the first in a series of definition of terms formulating as a result of online dating experiences:

Smile Nazi: A hapless, simple-minded moron who's unconscious has been invaded by overexposure to marketing/advertising aesthetics. This person conforms to the norms of consumer society and behaves exactly as corporations would want them to - buying consumer products they don't need and responding to low-level cues such as cheesy smiles in cosmetics or other household grocery product adverts. If a Smile Nazi is female they will respond positively to Catalogue Models, Butlins Redcoats or Boy Band videos, openly admitting to an interest in Take That or One Direction despite being in their late 20's or older. Smile Nazis pollute dating websites with inane intro lines such as, 'I found the secret to a happy life - smile more', as they are sufficiently dumb to believe smiling creates happiness rather than the other way round. While Smile Nazis are shallow and therefore largely apolitical and harmless in democracies, they would make good Nazis in dictatorships due to their lack of independent thought and unquestioning faith in propaganda.



Andy Warhol's Marilyn Monroe - happiness and contentment behind the smile?

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