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| Blogs > Seraphim13 > My Kingdom of Hearts |
Friends with Benefits
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Friends with Benefits I have to confess that I thought initially it would be easy to write about this topic, but it was Not!! Firstly because the concept I found on the internet is completely the opposite of what I think of it And secondly because of the confusion between the definition of Friends with benefits and Lovers. So I decided to ask 10 different men for their opinion on the subject... Although at the beginning their opinion was very important so I could have an idea about what different men, from different countries with different experiences had to offer... I started with a brief explanation about the Symposium topic and then asked - " What is in your opinion a friend with benefits? The universal version of a nice way to call it a 'sex buddies' or 'booty call' or does it means something different to you?! What I really would Like to know is your opinion of what does it really means to you?! There is no right or wrong answers, just opinions!" I will revel the outcomes in a bit... Let me tell you about the relation between these 10 men and myself: Out of the 10 men - 9 I met through FriendFinder-x and 1 outside FriendFinder-x Out of the 10 men - 4 are Married or live with a partner and 6 are Single Out of 4 Married - 3 I had sex with, and 1 not Out of 6 Single - 1 I had sex with, and 5 I had not Out of the 10 men - 2 I still met on regular bases... Maybe this is not important for you, but for me it helped me a lot to figure it out where I am standing... Making these questions to these men was definitely a BIG MISTAKE!! and a GOOD MISTAKE!! Thank you guys - You know who you are...!  While one was feeling bored about my conversation, another was trying to figure it out if answering my questions would help him to get laid quicker, 4 gave me an honest opinion with no pretension of the outcomes and the other 4 were more interested to define their position with me, than actually give a truly opinion... So... At the end of the day, it become very interesting to feel how these men reacted to the question, more than the answer to the question itself... Although some opinions are very similar to what I think... My opinion still is the most important! For me a friend with benefits is someone that is a friend or a person with potential to build up a friendship with (and by friend I mean a real friend not acquaintances) + sex, but less than a common romantic relationship. Believe it or not, to me, it was a very well learnt lesson this symposium theme - After 2 years on this site, I finally figure it out what kind of relationship I want to have and build up in a near future... Anddd Nope... I am not going to tell you what it is - I guess you will figure that out soon... lol For those who think that FWB is sex less the friendship, where the friendship is the less important part of this equation, remember... Be Respectful Even if this is just fun between 'friends', you are human beings with feelings and you should always consider your actions and their feelings. “Friends with benefits" only works if the friend part stays at play. As in casual relationship, like any relationship, requires a trust, empathy and communication. Oh, and condoms! P.S. Participants List For The Sixteenth Virtual Symposium: Friends With Benefits To link use Participants List For The Sixteenth Virtual Symposium Friends With Benefits  Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box |
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Very interesting.....it is a tough topic ,especially for men who normally have a tough time explaining their emotions. I myself would love to take your survey
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That's why the friend part comes first in friends with benefits... otherwise it might be BWF.  Thoughts from the Garden...
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Excellent post hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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2/3/2016 9:44 am |
It is definitely important to take time and figure out what you want before connecting w/ others. As a friend once put it: "I want more than a fuck-body, I want a fuck-buddy", Nothing wrong w/ a fuck-body if that is what one is looking for 
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2 cool
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I really enjoyed your post- you picked a very smart and creative way to explore the topic. And the photo is marvelous! Thank you for that! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I think that I kind of knew that this would be a hard post for me to write on. Instead, the smart ass in me came out. Thank you for contributing to the symposium, Kitkat The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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Interesting post.  Friends with benefits can mean many different things as your research found out. The term should be friends with sex! 
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As many other people, I do like your post and your approach with a survey. I was wondering if you have read the post of a friend of mine : [post 3769330] It is not very long and I have the feeling that she has at the end an opinion quite close to yours but with a totally different angle. Based on your survey and your experience, do you think we can have a real FWB relationship with a married person ?
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Great post! Agree with you. My blog is open to you! Fatgirl1976  My new blog post SOMOS CAMPEES WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS visit and share your opinion! 
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Very interesting.....it is a tough topic ,especially for men who normally have a tough time explaining their emotions. I myself would love to take your survey My survey was quite simple, with straightforwards questions: -What is in your opinion a friend with benefits? - The universal version of a nice way to call it a 'sex buddies' or 'booty call' or does it means something different to you?! -What I really would Like to know is your opinion of what does it really means to you! -There is no right or wrong answers, just opinions! - Would you agree if I say that friends with benefits is the same as lovers? Please feel free to answer - would love to hear your opinion, either here on in a more private way... Thanks hun, for visiting and commenting {=} Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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That's why the friend part comes first in friends with benefits... otherwise it might be BWF. That's why I prefer to call it Lovers, where the friendship is always safe Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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Excellent post hugs V Your visits and comments are much appreciated - hugggggssss {=} Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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It is definitely important to take time and figure out what you want before connecting w/ others. As a friend once put it: "I want more than a fuck-body, I want a fuck-buddy", Nothing wrong w/ a fuck-body if that is what one is looking for I couldn't agree more with you and your friend's quote - but now I want more than a Fuck-body or a Fuck-buddy Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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I never bother trying to define dating site terminology. It's their phrase not mine. I never let anyone get me to use their words, or their phrases. I don't let them do it in politics, or any other social theatre. Therefore when I read profiles that use them, my eyes just glaze over. it shows a lack of originality. Like you I prefer to use my own ones, but trust me, I get misunderstood quite often... go figure why... lol Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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2 cool Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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I really enjoyed your post- you picked a very smart and creative way to explore the topic. And the photo is marvelous! Thank you for that! I tried to approach the subject from men perspective (from the ones at the time closer to me... ) And what I have learnt from their point of view would be enough to write another post on the subject ... you have no idea!! LOL Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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Thanks babe I might write another post ( don't know yet when...) about this topic - You have no idea how enlightening same were and how they made my life so easy ... lol Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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I think that I kind of knew that this would be a hard post for me to write on. Instead, the smart ass in me came out. Thank you for contributing to the symposium, Kitkat Smart ass is good too, you know... Lol Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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Interesting post. Friends with benefits can mean many different things as your research found out. The term should be friends with sex! But also, the way some people use this term, is there everything but the friendship... Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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As many other people, I do like your post and your approach with a survey. I was wondering if you have read the post of a friend of mine : [post 3769330] It is not very long and I have the feeling that she has at the end an opinion quite close to yours but with a totally different angle. Based on your survey and your experience, do you think we can have a real FWB relationship with a married person ? About your question, my answer is Yes. I believe that having a Real FWB is not defined by marital status but by the two parts involved Emotional Intelligence ... if that makes sense... Thank you so much for stopping by, please feel free to visit and comment anytime {=} Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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I have been there darling, I know exactly what you mean!! This symposium, believe it or not was my wake-up call... I actually start to say to my self what I really want and how I want it! Sometimes the difficult part is to admit it to ourselves... Baby steps sweetie, and you will get there {=} Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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Great post! Agree with you. Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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What a terrific approach to the topic! I’m a data nerd myself, and while this is certainly not scientific (nor intended to be – it falls more under the “crowdsourcing” label) you basically conducted a mini-symposium of your own. How cool is that? And yes, the hopeful/manipulative reactions of your gentlemen were definitely amusing to read… You’ve found an interesting definition: "For me a friend with benefits is someone that is a friend or a person with potential to build up a friendship with (and by friend I mean a real friend not acquaintances) + sex, but less than a common romantic relationship." I dunno, I might put an acquaintance with whom one has sex more in the fuck buddy category. With a friendship – and I’ve experienced these types of relationships – I genuinely do want to hear about their days, their travails, and their joys. No, we aren’t romantically involved, and we won’t be spending the holidays with each others’ families, but we do have some sort of emotional connection. Elsewhere I’ve said that, largely as a result of the symposium, I’m slowly rejecting the euphemism friends with benefits in favor of “sexual friendships,” which may be more accurate… should it be anyone’s business at all. And yes, respect should be universal, whether under the covers, on the streets, or even in the blogosphere! This was a terrific, untraditional, and engaging approach to the topic. Nicely done. Welcome back to the virtual symposium! Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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What a terrific approach to the topic! I’m a data nerd myself, and while this is certainly not scientific (nor intended to be – it falls more under the “crowdsourcing” label) you basically conducted a mini-symposium of your own. How cool is that? And yes, the hopeful/manipulative reactions of your gentlemen were definitely amusing to read… You’ve found an interesting definition: "For me a friend with benefits is someone that is a friend or a person with potential to build up a friendship with (and by friend I mean a real friend not acquaintances) + sex, but less than a common romantic relationship." I dunno, I might put an acquaintance with whom one has sex more in the fuck buddy category. With a friendship – and I’ve experienced these types of relationships – I genuinely do want to hear about their days, their travails, and their joys. No, we aren’t romantically involved, and we won’t be spending the holidays with each others’ families, but we do have some sort of emotional connection. Elsewhere I’ve said that, largely as a result of the symposium, I’m slowly rejecting the euphemism friends with benefits in favor of “sexual friendships,” which may be more accurate… should it be anyone’s business at all. And yes, respect should be universal, whether under the covers, on the streets, or even in the blogosphere! This was a terrific, untraditional, and engaging approach to the topic. Nicely done. Welcome back to the virtual symposium!  Coming from you means a lot!Usually when I am not comfortable with some topics, it's in my nature to approach them in unconventional ways... and to get a lot of people involved too... I guess I was lucky... Lol And I strongly agree with your definition(s) too - Like you, I also like to know what my "sexual friends" are doing I'm really glad you like it - Thank you for your comments {=} Between Heaven & Hell - My Kingdom Guestbook and Messages box
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