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Comparisons
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Comparisons A lady friend of mine and I were writing, and the subject of men and women came up. She asked me, from my perspective, how I'd describe my gender. Hmm... I told her we're not that hard to figure out...we're like dogs...scratch our heads, play with us once in a while, and we're content to curl up at your feet and lick your toes. We may growl when neglected, and sulk when we bring our favorite squeaky toy to you and you tell us no...but if we feel wanted and cared for, we'll defend you to the death. And yes...while some of my breed are happier roaming the streets and mounting every tail they see, the rest of us are loyal, and pretty "primary process" (food + sex + play = stay). Then she asked if I could come up with an analogy of women. I guess metaphorically, I'd say women are like cars. We men begin our love affair with cars from the first moment we lay our beady eyes on them. We simply can't live without them, and the way our heads swivel back and forth as we try in futile desperation to not miss any that pass by, you'd think our neck vertebrae would've ground down to nothing years ago. They're coveted, they're lusted after, and when the neighbor across the street has a better one, the lust-or frequently dumps his and goes into hock to bring one home that'll outdo that uppity bastard. They're treated with gloves when they're new - fawned over, accessorized, shown off - but as their mileage goes up, they sometimes get less attention. And though the basic equipment package is the same for all, they come in such a bewildering array of colors, body styles, equipment, and accessories that we're left dazed and confused and have a hard time deciding which one we really want...we started off looking for one just like the one in that ad, then saw that one over there, oh but wait...what about this one...I'd look gooooood with this one! Some are just so exotic and sexy looking that everywhere they go men (and even a few women) stop dead in their tracks to look. Their sleek, sexy lines and curves scream "thrill" even while standing still, and the owner relishes any and every opportunity to go out and gloat with great delight at the looks of desire and envy, casting those "yeah, eat your hearts out...this baby's aaaaallllllllllll mine" smirks at the less fortunate onlookers. They may look great, but they also require lots of special care and a significant bankroll to maintain. Others are built for speed....designed from the ground up to produce heart-stopping, white-knuckle, "oh my god!" performance. They're quick on the accelerator and highly responsive, but take a firm hand to control and often end up taking the unprepared (or over-confident) for a ride instead of the other way around. They can be temperamental, unpredictable, break down at the most inopportune moments, and cost a fortune to replace. Some are rugged and dependable....completely at home in the mountains, at the beach, or a weekend romp in the desert, but not very well behaved in normal every day situations. They're tough...probably a bit banged up from a lot of hard miles (and don't clean up very well - if at all any more), and most likely not suitable to Mother. Then there are those who hardly get a second look when they go by, if they even get a first one. No frills, basic transportation, just moving from place to place in relative obscurity. Me? After much consideration, I want something like a luxury SUV....enough rugged reliability to comfortably handle the mountains, snow, and the beach (and still look good dirty), but cleans up so nicely that dressy, classy, formal occasions are done with equal aplomb. |
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