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First Sessions
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First Sessions I end up writing this a lot so I'm just putting this here so I don't have keep doing it. 1st sessions are statically planned but are fluid. That means the woman walking through the door (or I hers) is unique. The only thing that is required is truth and honesty. Everything else depends on her. The purpose of a 1st session is get know her mind, know HER, not just her body and sometimes we never get exploring her body - nothing is required. Walking through a door does not mean you submit, it means you are willing learn and have enough trust level come through the door. However, one must ALWAYS listen their vibes (see that writing). I'm good with that. So the door opens. She can come in or, if not interested just say, "I don't think this will work out" and walk away. I'm good with that. I respect that. Once through the door, it is put her things down, coat off (winter) and shoes off. Then it is the 20-30 second hug. There is method that. It is not a sexual hug but a full on embrace that is - just a hug. Once it starts, I ask her let all her breath out and take as deep a breath as possible. I have her hold it for 2-3 seconds and have her let it all out - every bit and then repeat it. This helps get the jitters out. I then explain the rest of it. There are at least physiological benefits a 20-30 second hug - look it up. The one I'm after is the wee bit of oxytocin* that is released that helps with bonding and --- trust. The breathing takes up half the 20 seconds. Depending on the vibes I get, after the time is up I may lightly kiss her neck - or not. *(oxytocin is the drug released when a woman has an orgasm. It is often called the "love drug") We then sit on the sofa to tal I prefer she be naked but that is a request, not a requirement. She can be fully, partially or not at all clothed. It is up her comfort level. The benefit of nudity is (besides the aesthetics LOL 😂 is that she will feel and be a bit vulnerable. Again this is a trust building exercise. I ask questions about her, intimate and personal questions. I only require truth. There is no judgement, only understanding. She can ask of me anything she wishes - it is a 2 way interview. This part of the session is the longest and often is 45 minutes. A normal 1st session is between an hour and 1.25 hours but that is also fluid. We talk determine what kind of sub she is. This can take more than one session but, we get a basic feeling. I talk of the symbolism of the positions, nudity, how one addresses their Dom and why. Protocols, her rights, what her known hard and soft limits are (often these are not known until I suggest a few), what she likes or wants to experiment with. We talk about her needs and perhaps why it gives her peace. We talk of WILLING submission. Even if she wants to be taken or forced into submission, she must give permission to do so - a consensual non-consent situation where rules are discussed. After that is established, it's all good. The last part is getting into a position. I may explore her body - I want to find what takes her breath away, gasp, get goosebumps or makes her cringe. Again, this is fluid and depends on her. I'm aware of the trepidation and nervousness. Nothing is required. My first sessions are about getting to know someone and to build trust. She needs to trust me and I need to trust her. I think if she walked through the door and I blindfolded her and bound her first thing, well, that just might make her need to bolt. She doesn't know me and I could do anything, some of which may be harmful. Should we ever do that, she needs to have the trust that all will be within her soft and hard limits, that she is safe and protected. That I am mindful of her needs and will do what I can meet them. Now I know there are a hundred ways train and not everyone will agree with mine. This is just my way. My granddad was wrangler in the early 20th century. Farmers would seek him out get them a new as he always got the best. He might wait under a tree for 3 days until the one he wanted came along. But how did he break/tame them? He once told me - you break a with trust, pushing boundaries a little at a time but never crossing over the line. That way they are tame but still have the fire of their spirit. If you whip them into submission, literally break them, they are obedient but their fire is gone and it is the fire that makes a great . I prefer a sub be tamed, not broken. To keep her fire. If, of course, that is who she is.  |
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