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noone
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noone in this world I can trust ~ all they do is take take take ~ all the bits & part of me which are kind 7 lovely they {he} doesnt add to my abundance just took everything ~ yes im alone ~ when I calculate the enormity of the isolation the price the emotional endurance of passion I bestowed upon {him} its sadly not worth it~ its like ~ wow thank you ~ for all my care & graces ~ too beautiful to di* yet too ugly hurt & emotionally damaged to continue ~ people laugh at me ~ they laugh at me good ~ & thats embarrassing iit doenst matter what song I play what pretty dress I wear what car I drive ~ what I eat when it comes to be ~ my kindness is my blindness ~ and now I can see ~ it just hurts so much so terrible inside ~ its unfair ~ its unfair to know or feel that everyone around you just takes from you to the extent ~ where they dont mind about hurting you ~ people ask why am I so alone ~ because people steel from me or use my kindness to get the Great attributes of life from me ~ it is sad real sad ~ its unfortunate ~ my kindness is my blindness im only holding on to Vanity my face my body ~ they cant take that ~ my real nails ~ making sure ~ they are just the protype version of me ~ they will never be me or have a real heart like me ~ its just sad so sad ~ 40 years later & not one trusted friend ~ my faults ~ excuse me for skateboarding & loving it ~ {like } fucking hell there was aI time I thought wearing baggy trouser was the only priority in life ~ people going to hate me because I could skateboard ~ & have real nails ~ like really ~ excuse me for not having a fucked up life ~ the expense of knowing the people I used to know ~ hurts what hurts even more is the one person who I thought was trust<b> worthy </font></b>~ thats so shameful shameful I cant even celebrate stupid me ~ stupid patriotic me ~ didnt realise I was not good enough silly me ~ stupid me ~ I feel like itits wrong to be a smart woman like I stupid for trusting somewone and it really is hurtfull ~ especially now I know they dont really care too much im so vulnerable its unReal I know im vulnerable in everyway ~ im so vulnerable ~ x I have to make the correct choice its heart breaking terrible almost like an emotional blasphamy spiritual treason ~ except what im holding onto is burning my fingers heart soul & abundances ~ & thats sad ~ I thought the trust in lust was real ~ didnt realise I was wasting my beautiful self that hurts yes im dark ugly with nappy hair ~ doesnt give you {him} the right to take advantage of me in such a way that killin& myself is not even an option ~ more like there must be another doorway out of this onesided bondage of trust ~ my life is so sad its unreal ~ there was not one person on earth I didnt trust not one ~ its only when Things go missing now ~ I realise ~ they take take take ~& im like scrounging for air to Breath ~ its so sad I dont think he is worth the starvation I go through ~ its just a shame I feel so used ~ like my vagina is a honey pot & all the wrong people took my honey using the biggest spoon possible ~ xxx thats really sad ~ the sad thing is ~ they dont even like me anyway ~ shame ~ embarrassment im 40 now ~ still a beautiful very vulnerable woman ~ tread carefully I would have too ~ protect whats left of me ~ irony I hope when your feels like killin& herself over a man you understand then about your actions ~ Karma is a bitch ~ & im a Witch ~ im always kind to everyone beacuse I know what its like to not experiance kindness people do not realise my life my journey they dont realise the first person to be real kind to me without malice was Boris Johnson 2008 ~ I nearly fell but had to o be inner strong to speak up & his reply was unexpectedly amazing complimentary & Great as in {yes im not stupid feeling went through me ~ I held on to that feeling like its my only reference point of kindness like flicking through a Apple Mac ~ the kindness file ~ oohhh yes ~ when Boris was kind & listened ~ shame I dont have high standards I just have a standard excuse me I dont need to wear weave to have my standard either ~ my hair grows naturally & so does my Real nails ~ thats why people hate me ~ I have real hair real nails & realness ~ I cant fake anything ~ its just sad for everyone ~ myself & my future as for family well ~ huh ~ they cant beat you up until your 15 run away from home then expect you to be the light in family amour ~ im the ugly black lady girl ~ my beautiful home my creative Queendom my working Shrines to golden life & light ~ my PHD in creativity ~ people hate me that much because of my style ~ British remix Modern & loving it ~ sanctified & sacred ~ unique & fleek as one would say ~ xxx im a failer ~ spent my whole life trying to di* & now im 40 ~ I didnt know I was going to live this long ~ I have know I dea I was going to be ther lovely woman I am today ~ infact I didnt even know oneday I would be lovely ~ the kindness of internet stranger you dont know me ~ but your kind ~ sometimes I wish I friends like you all in real life ~ propably would be in the Bahamas right now sipping rum from a Jelly coconut ~ thinking of London who knows ~  |
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