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Question for the guys
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Question for the guys I recently chatted with a guy friend who indicated that he found it nicer when a woman asked him if he wanted to meet, rather than him being the one to ask. This was because he was quite shy and reserved and just found it difficult to get up the guts to do it. How do you feel about this? Do some men find it a turn off when a woman asks....indicating she is too aggressive? Or perhaps it's a turn on, that she takes matters into her own hands, goes after what she wants? Or are you like my guy friend...you need the woman to ask or a meet probably will never happen? Also, as a woman, I would like some advice from guys ...how do I know that a guy is interested enough that I should ask, when he doesn't? I drop hints....such as, I say 'let me know if you ever want to meet up' and he says 'you know I do'...but then he changes the subject fairly quickly....is that my clue to say 'ok, when and where?' or is the change of subject his way of backing out? Just like the guy who finds it difficult to ask, so do I...not a good combo! Any suggestions would be appreciated  Read RESPECT WE all NEED to do Better and Re Petition to Stop Transsexuals from Using Female Profiles |
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I wouldn't mind if a lady asked me out.
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I don't mind a woman asking and actually am pretty flattered when they do. It's never easy asking, at least for me, but if you are truly interested in the other person you just have to suck it up and be forward and ask. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
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Personally I don't mind if a woman asks me to meet, after all that's what some of us are here for....as for being able to know what hints to drop...if a man doesn't pick up on any hints you drop he's either clueless or not interested.
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1 post 10/30/2015 4:06 pm |
After a few conversations it would be nice for the lady to make the first move. Guys are not always sure if or when to make the move.
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i'm good with it, shows confidence. & that is very sexy in a woman...
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I doubt any of us would be put off if the woman asked to meet, especially when the odds are so tilted for women here, so many more guys. As to you asking, if he is not agreeing once you offer to meet, there is something wrong. Even if he is shy like your friend, he should still agree to meet and not change the subject. That is often an indicator that he is hiding something, possibly a wife, and really cannot meet and is only looking for some online play, no real life connections. If you are really interested, push it a little a more and be specific and see what happens. The response you get will tell you if there is any value in continuing to talk to that person.
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10/30/2015 4:33 pm |
I think its nice when a girl asks because it shows they are actually interested as opposed to if a guy asks they could say yes but then when its time to actually meet make excuses. It shows a female is truly interested.
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That's a damn good question, as everyone is different, and take thinks in a different way. But then again, why not just come right out and ask, take care of all the guess work.
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I think very much of a woman ask her out .... not always have to start from man ....
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Very good question LLD. Like RisingPhoenix said it’s extremely hard for men on this site, especially standard members, to get the attention of women on this site. Various factors make it so, but the poor tastes of some “men” make it a lot more difficult for the men who act respectfully toward women. As a result at one time I had a lot of outgoing mail and not much (less than 1 incoming. My situation, living far from a large population, made that necessary. It was frustrating.Getting up the guts, or beyond shyness, is something you just have to get past. A guy has to be able to handle rejection without feeling hurt and/or being a jerk about it. It just takes “practice”. Then there is the when to ask thing. A guy has to judge when is “too soon” or when you have waited “too long” – each woman’s comfort level is different. Some were interested in meeting within a call lasting only a few hours. I’ve been lucky in that I seem to have asked at the “right” times. It would be nice if the woman says something, not necessarily ask the guy out – but that would be great too IMO. One woman mentioned she would be visiting a friend in a town close to mine the next day – I got the hint and we met and had a very good time. A woman saying something is definitely not a turn off; to me it shows a level of equality and confidence in a woman. It is great when a woman at least gives some hint. If a guy doesn’t catch on to the hints (one or two) you mentioned maybe he has become so used to being friends (the ‘waited too long’ thing) the hint may not be as obvious to him as it may be to you. If a guy says “you know I do” but doesn’t set something up then I would imagine he may not really be if he changes the subject fairly quickly. If you want to meet a guy say something. If they say no then you have a real life insight into what guys get to deal with. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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I like a lady taking the first step. Most of the time a lady will drag her feet for one thing or another and I sense this, for you to take charge is great. Then again you could have a guy that doesn't like taking charge when need be.
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I like a woman that takes the direct approach and is open and honest with me.
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If you want to ask him to meet then ask. It really is as simple as that
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10/31/2015 9:36 am |
My best experiences here on FriendFinder-x have been when the meeting just seemed natural and it was almost not asked at all. Of course that is very rare, and when it did, it lead to a fairly long FWB relationship that only ended when she moved away. As mentioned, things here on FriendFinder-x really do seem stacked against men being able to actually have a conversation with the women here, but I have no probably at all if the woman either initiates the conversation, or asked about meeting.
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11/3/2015 9:32 pm |
I'm fine with a woman asking. It can often be hard to tell if someone wants to meet so sometimes if you are interested you just have to throw it out there and see if they bite.
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Absolutely not a turn off at all, and we men would love it if women actually showed a direct interest rather than assuming we're picking up their supposed signals. Yes many are very shy and struggle to make a move, so why shouldn't women make the first move? Many others may be just tired of constant rejection and espected to just brush it off as if it has no impact on us 'The let me know' scenario is too vague at the best of times, let alone for a man who can't pick up on female hints!!
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1 post 11/7/2015 12:58 pm |
I agree and disagree. I love it when a woman takes charge and says what she wants, very sexy and exciting. I also think its important for the guy to do the asking as it shows respect and that he appreciates the beauty in front of him. Just some thoughts from someone who has been around the block a couple of times.
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Interesting topic and discussion. I think people should just come out with what's on their minds and be honest. If you want to ask somebody out, ask them out. I think dropping hints here and there amounts more to game play than foreplay really. It shouldn't be so hard to ask somebody for something you want - the worst they could say is no and if that happens, you can always just move on.
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I've been single since 2006 and before that had 2 relationships for a total of 28 years and man have things changed! The ex and I were on this site in 04 and met many nice people after we split I didn't even think about FriendFinder-x well being a single guy period is different and even more so on a site such as this. Many times women mistake my old school manners as a come on No actually I do light a ladies smoke hold doors open ect. so I would welcome a up front woman who wants to start things going
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it is just as hard for some of us to ask as it is for some of you. This english language is so difficult. Filled with so many double meanings, things said and not meant, meant and not said. Some of us expect you to be a mind reader. Some of you expect us to be mind readers. If we are bold, we are called aggressive, if we are shy, we are called weak. We go out on a limb, only to have the limb break. We fall, we get up and try again!! Nothing worse than being shy in the bar and......... If you want to have lunch, tell him. Be straight forward, say what you mean. Lunch is lunch! You wanna have lunch or you wanna be lunch. Communication is key. When you say what you mean and mean what you say, leave nothing to interpretation, things should go smoothly. Or You could be totally on the wrong page everytime you open the book!! [I]Da Focker!!
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I have been asked out by a woman more than once and I was very flattered. The first time it took me a while to take the hint  
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I'd be flattered IF that ever happened (note the 'if'). Seriously . . . the "man-to-woman-ratio" on the site allows the women to have the 'pick of the litter' (so to speak) . . . so if a woman makes the first move . . . that's a MAJOR ego boost (at least I'd find it to be that). And, too . . . even though this is a 'sex site' . . . I think that fundamentally, we all want to be wanted & appreciated, too . . . so if a woman makes the first move, the man's gonna get a REALLY NICE feeling for that. I agree with risingphoenix . . . if you're interested in a guy . . . make the offer to meet a little more direct & clear . . . after all . . . us guys can be a little 'clue-less' at times when reading women's signals [laughing].
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9/17/2018 2:47 am |
I'd have to say that from past experience, (with the help of a buddy who was trying to do me a favor), I was seriously embarrassed to turn down invitations from women to date, or play. It was very flattering, but not something that has ever been a common occurrence for me. Having said this though, I am at a point in my life where I would be more receptive to an invitation from a woman.
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