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My first meet-up with someone on AFF
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My first meet-up with someone on AFF I was recently contacted by a guy, my age, local, who indicated he'd like to chat. He is a gold member and I knew he'd perved my profile, knew what I look like, knew a little bit about me. His profile is fairly blank. As is my usual, I replied, asked if he chatted in any of the public rooms at all. He replied no, he didn't, told me a little about himself and it did seem like we had a few things in common. So I asked if he chatted via an outside chat system. He said no, he didn't. So, I did ask a few ppl on this site if they met with someone after only exchanging brief e:mails back and forth over the course of a week's time. The response was about 50/50 so I said ok, I will break my usual routine and meet with the guy, in a public place of course. After some delay on his part, we finally did arrange our first meet. And it turned out great. He was easy to talk to and he said I was easy to talk to. We had even more in common, shared breakfast overlooking the sound, he bought me flowers, then he drove me home with a light kiss and we both agreed we wanted to meet again. We did meet again, a week later. Friday night, dinner and a movie. I was hopeful. I wasn't sure how far things were going to go...but I got ready accordingly. lol Again, comfortable conversation, even delved into sex, as we did during our first date...it was easier because we were both from this site. We held hands during the movie. I offered to help pay but he refused my offer. When he parked at my apt complex afterwards, he said he had a blast and did I want to do something again. I enthusiastically said yes. We kissed, a bit more passionately than before but only for a few seconds. He said he would call me the next day, Saturday, so we could talk about the details of our next date. It was only 11pm on a Friday night. I was a bit disappointed he didn't offer to go out for drinks or to just walk in the nice night air in the little downtown area of where I live. In retrospect, I probably should have made the suggestion. I am not used to doing that...I am a bit old-school, unfortunately. No call Saturday. No call Sunday. I am not a stalker but because he is (was) in my Friend's Network, I could see he was online for much of both days. We had talked about how he enjoys watching cams. Sunday late afternoon, I decided to send him a quick text. I am not one to bug a guy. I just wanted to find out what was going on. I told him I hoped he had a good afternoon. A few minutes later, he responded with 'you too'. Five hours later...like 10pm on a Sunday night, he sent me an odd test. It said 'Thanks for slowing me down. We're friends first' I had no idea what he was talking about so I asked him. He replied, said he didn't know if I wanted to go out again. This was despite our parting agreement to another date in the car Friday night. I reminded him that he'd said he was going to call me on Saturday to talk about the details of another date. He said 'opps. sorry'. He then indicated he still wanted to go out again, said it was up to me though. I admit, a few old tapes were playing that whole weekend when he didn't call. I am pretty easy going and I know life gets in the way of things. But the fact that he was online most of Saturday and Sunday told me life had not gotten in the way of fun. That was cool, more power to him. And no, he's sharp enough that alzeihmer's is not an issue lol I was online chatting with friends on this site during this texting back and forth and I was helping my in the kitchen... and I did need some time to just think about it, figure out what I wanted to do. 45 minutes later, he texted me with 'Enough said. Good luck'. I replied, asking why he was not giving me time to think and respond.' No response. What bothers me most about this is that this isn't the first time a guy said all sorts of nice things about how we were clicking, how much we had in common, how easy I was to talk to, he was having a great time, etc etc and then bam, nothing. I don't reply to him within his time limits and he's throwing up his hands, done with it. So easily discarded. I suppose it could be because I didn't offer sex that Friday night. I know the other two women who contacted him from this site pretty much were only interested in a one night stand. He said he did have sex with them but told me he wanted more than that. And if he really wanted sex that Friday night, he sure didn't give me any clues lol I've been out of the game for awhile but pretty sure I'd know if a guy wanted to go that route. lol So I am left without really knowing what went on. It has been almost a week and I've picked myself up, dusted off my tarnished halo lol Getting back on the again. It's frustrating not knowing exactly what the issue was but...shrugs...at least he showed up for two dates. I think we both had a good time. That's more than what a lot of ppl get when they arrange for a meet up with someone from the site. Take care, have fun. Thanks for listening. Read RESPECT WE all NEED to do Better and Re Petition to Stop Transsexuals from Using Female Profiles |
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Great post,  and 'thanks' for taking the time and effort to share it with us, A/all. I think your experience is not to unlike many on here. Sometimes it is a smooth as silk, and at other times it's as awkward as two teenagers out on their very first dates ever. Murphy's Law. Hopefully the awkwardness will wear-off very quickly and you both can assume a more traditional dating relationship. Good luck!
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I may be wrong, but, he sounds sensitive and needs reassuring. Rejection can keep us guarded and maybe not as open as we would like. Then, again, he may be a jerk. Hard to tell.
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I think, he has something cooking on the side. The best you can do is to get over.
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Sorry this happened to you. I've never met up with someone after only a week of communication. Partly because I live out in the sticks and one can't very well be too spontaneous and I want to get to know someone fairly well before committing to driving miles and miles. But ... that's backfired too. AB No Bozos
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That's unfortunate, LLD. People should just come out and say what's on their minds. Don't you wish more people did that instead of playing games? Better luck next time. 
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Sounds like a simple case of "He's just no that into you." At times we want to meet someone to see if their online persona is the same as offline. Maybe it is, maybe it isnt. Maybe the photos online dont do you justice. What females fail to understand is, you DONT always want the bitter truth. Most of the time you get SUPER PISSED when someone has the nerve to REALLY say whats on his mind. And at the same time, talk himself out of possible sex. So most tend to throw out LITTLE WHITE LIES, or keep true feelings unsaid. Its sad it happened to you, but even more sad when it happens to men over n over n over again. ~Linc was here.~
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11/13/2015 12:10 pm |
It does seem odd that he would meet you twice and then sort of vanish. If there hasn't been a spark of chemistry you would have thought that he would have backed out after the first meeting. It does seem to be a common theme these days with online dating, whether the more adult oriented sites like this, or the more mundane, that a lot of people really want to flirt and pretend to be naughty, instead of actually being naughty.
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Hi, Very odd behavior. I lean towards yellowflower56's assessment more than him being shy and needing to be reassured. He had it in him to meet and have sex with two women that he knew were one nighters looking for tally marks. Repeating the "It's not me, it's them" line does get old, but it is the truth. Take care, H
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[image] Read RESPECT WE all NEED to do Better and Re Petition to Stop Transsexuals from Using Female Profiles
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Life does interrupt life at times but sounds as if he talks outta both sides of his mouth just one guys opinion...........
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