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What are your first date pet peeves?
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What are your first date pet peeves? I asked my happily married hairstylist (third time around has worked well for her) yesterday when she thinks is the right time to reveal that a date has bad breath. She thought that the second meeting was too soon. In fact, she said she'd never be able to come out and say it directly. Instead, she'd skirt the issue and offer breath mints, saying "I have a paranoia about ever having bad breath." I said that's just not me. I'm much more honest than most people, certainly more direct than most women. (Plus, breath mints don't mask the smell for more than a couple minutes!) I asked my new sexy Bi BFF (BBFF), the one with whom I'd like to spend more time naked and otherwise (though she's in the throes of mutual "in-love-ness" with a guy she's lusted after for 30 years). Anyway, BBFF said it would be a good idea to say something before getting all hot and heavy and I can't wait to get away from the heavy breathing. She and I agreed it was okay to say it before the second date. First and foremost, I DO NOT DATE SMOKERS. I dated two smokers who were trying to quit and it took MONTHS for them to stop exhaling the smell of dead lung air sacs on me. Plus, they were often snappy and unpleasant while quitting. I smile and ignore occasional bad breath from because I know there are number of reasons for bad breath, chief among them: But I don't see any reason to put up with bad breath when dating just for fun. On our third date, The Unavailable Guy (TUG) had the balls to tell me --right before he said he only wants "something casual"-- that I would benefit by following a regime of once or twice daily flossing, followed by brushing, followed by three minutes of Listerine, adding "Skip the off-brands. Get Listerine. It's the best." I protested. I knew I'd been nervous and we had smoked pot, as well as drunk quite a lot of alcohol the first times we were together. My dental hygienist had assured me that my electric toothbrush applied right at the gum lines was sufficient. But, the feedback from TUG made me paranoid and I started his dental hygiene regime and kept mouthwash on hand at all times. (My favorite bottle is the cute miniature dark blue Skyy Vodka bottle that resides in my purse.) NOTE: Coffee breath or heavy smell of fish, onions or garlic if someone has ingested them recently aren't that much of an issue. Those are temporary and pretty easy to distinguish from chronic halitosis. Here's second pet peeve: I don't enjoy someone invading my personal space or talking solely about sex in the first encounter. Though I'm open about my interest and comfort with the topic and practice of sex (since I talk and think about sex all the time), in my personal life, I'm slow to warm up to prospective partners and don't enjoy feeling pressured. Third and final peeve: I find it challenging to move from getting-to-know-you chat to "Let's get naked." I've asked a number of first dates, and they suggest kissing. My reservation about kissing: I prefer a certain style of kissing and I HATE having my mouth invaded by a tongue diving in and out as if it were his cock poking my pussy. Sexy kissing, in my opinion, is slow teasing and stopping and nuzzling, nibbling on my neck and breathing together (hence the requirement of fresh breath). Add that to the fact that I find kissing to be much more intimate than fucking and you may understand why it feels awkward for me to move to sex the first time. I have found it effective to get the kisser to slow down by saying, "Let me kiss you." Then, I demo what I like. In my work, after I explain the process, I simply tell to shower, get naked and hop on the massage table. That's easy since I'm comfortable being entirely in charge. I don't necessarily want to be in charge with someone I'm dating just for fun. I've had some success with having a first date give me a massage. With one couple that I see from time to time, we smoke pot and then dance a bit before flopping on the futon together. And kissing. With my Tantra-trained tribe, we may invoke a sacred space and, at least, usually engage in some woo-woo connection exercises like gentle stroking, breathing together, eye gazing and the like. We typically "run energy" (which means create a circuit of energy between us) before moving to more explicitly sexual activities, but I don't expect everyone to be interested in woo-woo. So, tell me if you will, am I just too damn picky or...when do you think is the right time to talk about pet peeves like bad breath, space invasion and disagreeable kissing? {=}{=}{=} BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie |
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the person with bad breath could also have tonsil stones. As for being with someone with bad breath, the time is now to mention it, as it would be a breaking point for me.
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since halitosis is treatable - right away. had a really great boyfriend in high school who could strip paint- took me two weeks but I did it. He was so grateful but then he was a very secure guy. I was the one in the office who always got to tell folks about BO and bad breath, lol. start with, I am sure you are totally unaware.......... You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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Perhaps this is one of those issues where the person receiving the "bad news" would actually be the determining factor. As you mentioned, someone like myself, who is reasonably well assured, would be able to take it after the first kiss. The Lovely Siren, on the other hand, might view such advice as a critical comment, and feel somewhat humiliated. Ms. bpb, you seem to have experience and intuition enough to sense these subtle nuances, but others may not be so sensitive. With that in mind, our suggestion would be wait...but only as long as it takes to determine the way such comments might be received by the person with the other pair of lips. But...DO mention it sooner rather than later, else we might lose out on an interesting playmate simply due to a preference for Garlic toast...
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That's why I never order food with garlic, ginger or onions in it. I ask them to hold that garnish....but if someone has halitosis before we have even had the meal then I would tell them and offer an Altoid mint. Then no goodnight kiss, just a hug. I know I would appreciate that. Then if there was other chemistry, I would suggest (or he would) a second date and then see if he still has stinky breath. If he does, then that's a deal breaker. He will then at that point get the message to see a doctor or dentist to find out the reason and fix it. {=} {=} KCClaire0923
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Oh, I have issues with bad breath as well. Before I go out, I usually water pic and mouth wash to be safe. Not that I want to smell like peppermint man or anything, but I never wish to offend either. Yeah, that's kind of a deal breaker for me. Hell, brush your teeth or chew some gum (which is another issue. ) Kissing should be tender and light at first. I like to react to my partners desires so as not to push the envelop and turn them off. I agree, the pulsing tongue isn't a great approach at anytime. But, tender tongue when in the throws, can be passionate at the appropriate time. It does come down the the breath though. Making out with someone who's breath can melt steal, just has never been my idea of passion or fun. Bud Always Ready for Fun.
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