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I massacred a turkey today! And I got fucked in hot water yesterday.  

bipolybabe69 62F
400 posts
12/4/2016 8:33 pm
I massacred a turkey today! And I got fucked in hot water yesterday.


I love, love, love turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing and cranberry sauce. Oh, cranberry sauce...I could write an ode to cranberry sauce.

But I'm not a very traditional person. At Thanksgiving, when I was married with young , I enjoyed the fruits of the labors of one of my friends, a consummate homemaker. She has also gone on to be a kick-ass county commissioner. Go figure!

In previous years, my have gone off to their dad's for Thanksgiving and his vegetarian wife has slaved to create the perfect holiday while I go horseback riding. One year, I taught my to pull a cart and went out on the road for the first time because I knew there would be no one else out on the road. This year, I drove a load of Dominatrix-extreme stuff (that I've never used) up to the lucky buyer of my<b> gear </font></b>at the conclusion of my Tantric Kink Virtual Auction. I saw some Bay Area friends and lovers, had a great time and drove home again.

NOTE: I'm not writing about my current sex life because --to me-- it's not that unusual. I'm seeing the usual line-up of sexy couples, fuck buddies and but one fivesome sorta looks like the next. I have retreated from dating to find a partner because, honestly, I'm discouraged. Sam in Bend-Over, OR, has disappeared. Quite literally. His phone is disconnected. He doesn't reply to my emails. I even sent a package via amazon with a Paul Simon CD and a note saying "There are 50 ways more graceful to leave your lover than what you've done." I hope he's okay. I'm mad I never got a chance to say that I don't really want all his custody drama in my life anyway. Sour grapes...but I'm moving on. Slowly. Cuz I'm disappointed.

My friend Jeff --who is among the nicest, funniest, smartest men on the planet (a pity he believes in monogamy!) -- says I should go ahead and write only these things on my dating profiles:

* I'm a Sex Coach. I'll always be someone who knows and is passionate about sex and relationships. (That doesn't mean I'm any better at it than anyone else. I've got a lot of data and theories.)

* I value lifelong learning and personal development. Either support me or join me in the quest to live life on the skinny branches.

* I spend my time on my relationships with friends, family and those who love me.

After this detour, I'm returning to my original topic. I bought a frozen turkey around Thanksgiving Day and defrosted it a couple days ago. Today I realized I'd better get at that fowl before it went foul.

So, here's what I did. I hacked this 20-pound bird apart. I acknowledged the presence of my cave-dwelling ancestors who smacked their meat with a club. My turkey was covered in annoying plastic and ties around the legs. I growled, pulled them with my fingers and shredded them with my knife.

I'm glad I had a fabulously sharp Henkel knife! I read an article about the only 3 knives you need to own and I bought: 8" chef, bread and paring. Yeah! And then I bought a wall magnet to hang them on the wall in my very tiny kitchen!

I hacked off the drumsticks, thighs and wings, drenched them in butter, Celtic Sea Salt (with valuable minerals!) and fresh-ground rainbow peppercorn and then popped them into the oven in my one-and-only baking dish. I covered the dish with recycled aluminum from tacos at my local taqueria. (I believe in reduce, reuse, recycle so I feel like a despicable, First World wastrel if I throw my to-go stuff into the trash. But I don't hate myself enough to stop ordering take-out!)

Next, I sawed off and sauteed the breast meat --in locally-owned Il Fortuna olive oil-- for turkey fajitas and tetrazzini later.

Finally, I began boiling all that turkey richness out of the carcass --which still has all the meat I was not able to hack off.

But I did massacre that turkey. Hell yeah!

And I'm pretty happy about it as I prepare to enjoy sauteed turkey breast with stuffing and cranberry sauce. Tomorrow: turkey fajitas with bell pepper and onion. Next, it will be turkey drumsticks and hot turkey wings in BBQ sauce. Finally, a rich turkey broth that I'll turn into whatever stew my gut desires.

Okay, that "gut" thing reminded me that I actually have had a couple first dates lately. I had two agreeable dates with Aaron (a recent SB emigre) who is a pleasant, smart, chubby, Jewish guy. He says he's kinky and open-minded. (I have a prejudice in favor of Jewish men. I assume they're funny, smart and good with money. I have serious hots for Jerry Seinfeld despite his white running shoes.) For my tastes, Aaron uses "blessed" too often in sentences but I was willing to overlook that.

However, when I invited him to join me for the monthly Sex Positive Potluck, he demurred. He said his "gut" told him not to go.

My gut says he's too chicken for me. Frankly, I prefer turkey.

In addition, I've now seen three times Tim, a guy in Paso Robles. My friend Raquel, who has been an awesome friend and wing woman, helped me pick him up the first time we visited funky Franklin Hot Springs in Paso Robles. Tim did two things that turned me on:

As I floated over his seated body when we met the first time (in broad daylight), he moved his hand up my leg and held it at my thigh, right below my bikini bottoms, without trying to annoy my pussy with water friction. His other hand moved a finger into the crack of my ass, just the upper portion, right below my bathing suit. (Unfortunately, the place is NOT clothing optional though it IS and beer friendly. Just no glass allowed around the pool!) I took him back to my hotel room and was delighted in a great many ways on that first meeting.

The second time with Tim the pool experience (and the sex) was only so-so...BUT he took me fishing at San Simeon with his best friend for a totally awesome full day and then barbecued some crapiton fish at his home for me and his friends. Crapiton, of course, is not the name. I'm sure the name will come back to me since it starts with a "C." I think.

This third meeting time, we soaked in the dark at a Paso Robles hot spring my friend La Sirena calls "soak and poke." I found it difficult to hold my bikini bottoms so I used them as a necklace. (I'd abandoned the top a while ago to facilitate his stroking and squeezing of my breasts.)

I was delighted to find that I DID have silicone lube in my sexual survival kit. Silicone is the magic ingredient for enjoying sex in water. Make sure you put it on with the relevant parts OUT of water so the lube adheres. In the dark, we were sliding in and out and, well, don't visit to that Paso Robles hot springs is you don't want bodily fluids swimming next to you!

Off to enjoy some turkey! Gobble, gobble.

{=}{=}{=}

BiPolyBabe69

wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
12/5/2016 2:34 pm

I will remember that silicone lube thing forever.......winks

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


bipolybabe69 replies on 12/5/2016 6:02 pm:
Yep. That tip about using silicone lube in water is one of the most delightful bits I've accumulated in 9 years of work and 30+ years of experimentation!

69bud69 69M
7134 posts
12/7/2016 1:56 pm

Good advice about the lube.
I'm sure many others have contributed to the bodily fluids so, why not just relax and enjoy.
Sounds like a great time.

Bud

Always Ready for Fun.


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