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...To Sexual Surrender (Part 2 of 3)
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...To Sexual Surrender (Part 2 of 3) From Emotional Abuse To Sexual Surrender Part 1 So, there were things I was not very comfortable doing with my ex. Oral was one of them. It felt like too much surrender...and I couldn't do it most of the time, although once in awhile I got into it. I'd find BDSM hot once in awhile, but usually it just felt unsafe to me. I also hadn't squirted and started learning about it...and I'd try and try, and got nowhere for the longest time...for two years to be fairly precise. With new people, though, I'd be okay with oral. I don't know if it's because I accepted that it was more or less part of the deal when getting together with people in the nonmonogamous world, or if it was because the danger to my psyche wasn't there, or what. So, once in awhile, we'd engage in some nonmonogamy and I'd try to get more comfortable with it that way. I began squirting one night after some mild drinking...maybe I was just relaxed enough to find the right muscles or something. I was delighted. My ex was less so...but he didn't really like any changes in me, so whatever. I liked it and he learned to get over himself. It wasn't until my lover in Seattle and I started seeing each other, who I fell quite hard for, that I became comfortable to the point that I actually wanted to give him oral very much...so I did. And that was pretty much par for the course for the remaining 4 years I was with my ex. Then the last bf came on the scene...unassuming, kind, gentle, curious, and open, and I WANTED him. As I got to know him, I would try more things, because he was interested and not at all pushy about them. He mentioned he thought deep-throating was hot...it took a little while, but it wasn't long until I started doing it with him...and I liked it. I didn't just like it. I learned that it triggered a squirting reflex...while simultaneously turning me on more. It wound me up like crazy! He would test my limits, seeing how long he could get away with<b> stimulating </font></b>me before I tired of it...which he eventually figured out didn't really ever happen. Eventually I figured out that there were two distinct functions for me as far as wanting sex goes. 1) I can be in the mood independent of who is around. But the other one I had never experienced before with my ex and hadn't ever been with someone else long enough to identify it was a thing, so number 2 is me wanting to have sex because I want to have sex because I deeply desire to have sex with that particular person. This wanting to have sex with a particular person is a central force...and it's what happens when everything lines up--mind/body/energy. Even when I'd been with the bf for almost three years, I still strongly desired him and wanted to have sex with him whenever and wherever he really was up for it...and it's because I wanted HIM. Sexual Surrender Part 3 of 3   MOST of the time I'm well behaved...but if you weren't, and, enjoyed having your ass handed to you, visit my blog and become a subscriber. There you can read all about how I am actively authoring, and rewriting, my life .Trying to get a bigger audience? Here's my .02 Content What Content 8 Things To Consider Towards Better Content {=} |
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