Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

A Response to: ""Why should I "block, ignore and move on"?""  

Red_Elf 51F
578 posts
6/22/2017 3:05 pm
A Response to: ""Why should I "block, ignore and move on"?""


So, today [blog Lady_Jayne_Layne] posted [post 3997430]. She usually has some interesting things to say, so I had a look. Well, what she had to say got me thinking about my own way of responding, and I have to admit, I'm both a sweet person AND I can also be a punk assed bitch. It's gotten to where when people pull crap on me, I let them know what I think of their shitty behavior before I get around to blocking.

I've gotten a few apologies...even got one very recently.

The guy had "single" on his profile, and told me in text messaging that his profile was incorrect, and that he is "attached." I told him that wasn't a good situation for me, so I wouldn't be meeting him. He tries persuading me, he has permission, it's just sex, blah, blah, blah. i told him I have my reasons. He asked what they were. I explained.

So at this point I had told the guy a) what he was asking me to do wasn't healthy for me, and b) I even took the time and energy to explain it, which was not a small thing, considering it has to do with a history of piss poor treatment by partners of mine in<b> open relationships.

</font></b>So he goes back to continuing to try to persuade me, "It's sex kitten... We can fuck each other's brains out just like you recently stated... You and all women deserve that...Sex... sex... cumming.. dick..."

At this point, I'm pissed. I'm pissed with good reason. "Are you not hearing me?" I respond. "What the hell is it with you men who, when confronted with a woman and her reasons, just don't accept that?"

The excuses start up, "Sorry. Just trying to make a potentially cool thing happen.... Can you blame me for trying? "...then..."All good! I respect your position..."

I don't bite. He's not getting away with finding out something this personal would be bad for me, and then asking me to do it anyways. What a shitty thing to do to anyone, let alone someone you want to go to bed with...

I reply, "Yes. I can. I can blame you for ignoring how unhealthy this is for me and asking me to ignore my well-being in favor of your concocted fantasy situation...Because I don't ask my partners to do ANYTHING they feel is unhealthy for them."

Now he tries to pretend his shitty behavior away, "I wouldn't ask you to either... Its all good. "

Now I respond to him, "You just did. When I called you out on it...you backed out. But I had to go there [had to call him out]."

He finally realizes he had better start backtracking from his bullshit, which is still miles and miles ahead of a huge number of men on any dating site. He can see I'm holding his feet to the fire and now all he's left with is damage control, "You seem like an intelligent woman. I like that."

Well, at least he's capable of damage control. I'm still pissed I had to go there, but at least there is that, "I would NEVER ask someone else to go there, because I respect the people I'm interested in having sex with," I say, because it is true. I DON'T DO THIS. I date adults, so that I don't have to deal with childish behaviors and can simply respect my partners...and then I do what a respectful adult should be doing. I FUCKING RESPECT THEIR BOUNDARIES.

He's realized he's fucked up, but STILL NOT TAKING FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS BULLSHIT, "But if it isn't meant to be than it isn't...Seriously... No issues here...I'm glad I got the chance to talk to you..."

No issues here? He says no issues here? Oh, no, he fucking isn't getting away with that! "Yes. There was an issue. I'm attempting to educate you, because apparently you don't understand that it is an issue and a problem and it's upsetting."

Finally, it has sunk in, "I apologize..."

Now I'm starting to settle down, but I wasn't finished with him, "Don't ask people to do things they tell you aren't good for them. Period." And then, "Thank you."

He finished by wishing me to find what I'm looking for.

So, I think you are correct, [blog Lady_Jayne_Layne]. Sometimes, yes, blocking is the only way to get rid of the person who is just a numbskull. I get it. But there are plenty of times just holding someone's feet to the fire and making it clear their behavior is unacceptable might make someone think twice before repeating that same nonsense with someone else.

How about you? Do you ever do more than ignore and block people who are testing your patience?

MOST of the time I'm well behaved...but if you weren't, and, enjoyed having your ass handed to you, visit my blog and become a subscriber. There you can read all about how I am actively authoring, and rewriting, my life .

Trying to get a bigger audience? Here's my .02 Content What Content 8 Things To Consider Towards Better Content {=}


benard69 66M/66F  

6/22/2017 3:19 pm

Save time...If there's disrespect form any asshole on here...Block 'em!


Red_Elf replies on 6/22/2017 3:47 pm:
See now, I don't feel like you've actually heard me, either.

Both the author of the original article, Lady Jayne, and my response are clear--there are things we both do at times that involve doing things besides blocking.

The thing is, this isn't how you handle things, and that's fine. But I think Lady Jayne makes a very good point, and so between the two of us, we are both discussing doing things that are different than that. Do me a favor and actually hear us out.

KItkat1415 61F  
20051 posts
6/22/2017 4:16 pm

The only people currently blocked on my profile are people too stupid to read my profile and I happen to get a message from them when my last nerve is frayed. Normally, I take the time to address comments or messages as it is polite. Usually, I get a knucklehead or two a month who don't always accept what I say. Sometimes I try to explain and sometimes I just say "fuck it. I'm done" and I block.

I wrote about that guy who said he was sexually attracted to me but if I wasn't looking, he wasn't interested in continuing that conversation. That was cool. He stated his boundaries and I stated mine and we parted pretty politely (how's that for alliteration?).
kk

The observant make the best lovers,
I may not do right, but I do write,
I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life,
Kitkat
Come check out my blog
KItkat1415
check out this post by me
Adventures In Body Grooming
#39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath
If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40


Red_Elf replies on 6/22/2017 5:52 pm:
Sometimes I find that works out great. Mostly I don't. They've got to get some little dig in there, attempt to sow some sort of self-doubt, something.

porterpiper1 57F
3755 posts
6/22/2017 4:52 pm

no matter hard you try to be nice or give a reason, some never get it,look how long it took for this guy to finally get what you were saying, I don't want to be rude to every idiot that send me a stupid message, so blocking is the answer, some think they can change your mind, others just don't care what you want as long as they get what they want, So I tell them, if you want pussy that bad go get a hooker


Red_Elf replies on 6/22/2017 5:54 pm:
Yeah, I don't even respond to the vast majority of my messages. I wind up in these situations when I am fielding a conversation, most of the time, because at that point they've got their toe in the door, and think they can rule the roost. NOPE, SORRY, NOT SORRY...MY ROOST, MY RULES!

Dick4001567 64M
3941 posts
6/22/2017 9:41 pm

I have learned over the years to just ignore those kinds of folks and not allow them to violate my inner peace space even if they tried to feel like they won and I lost in having to do that? so very hard but if it ever comes down to me having to black someone then I

I will always have peace of mind regardless if the other person(s) are struggling to find theirs!

Great post btw


discreteSteve62 50M
2169 posts
6/23/2017 1:58 am

I'm impressed that someone started out as a jerk, and backtracked to the point that he actually apologized. Apparently getting called out actually got through to him that a person was on the other end, rather than just an abstract embodiment of the "get laid tonight" promise of FriendFinder-x advertising. (Do they still run those ads?)

Given the demographics of this site, I'm not typically on the receiving end of messages seeking sex, or even offers of sex from fakes. (It seems that FriendFinder-x has cut the fake problem to a minimum, or maybe fakes somehow miss spotting my profile.) My interactions with jerks are mostly the occasional social media idiot (pitching this or that bigoted nonsense, or sometimes anti-science nonsense); sometimes I call them out, and sometimes I just ignore them. I don't recall ever having to go so far as to block someone there, but I do recall a case where I called someone out over a racist joke (or attempted joke) then unfriended him.

The closest thing to a block was when I was trying to get my evil ex-girlfriend out of my life. She was phoning me several times a day, and often screaming at me for the indignity of actually dumping her. (How could anyone possibly dump the hottest --in her opinion -- woman in the universe?) I finally figured out hot to use the "distinctive ring" feature on my phone, and set her number to silent. Then all I got was "missed call" notifications in my call history, plus maybe an indignant voice mail I could ignore. For actual business (like getting back the stuff I couldn't fit into my first U-Haul load when I moved out), text messages didn't have the same degree of screaming, other than an overabundance of exclamation points.


Red_Elf replies on 6/23/2017 12:34 pm:
One day you and I will talk about what I do for a living and you'll better understand why I get the results I do.

discreteSteve62 50M
2169 posts
6/24/2017 1:18 am

One day you and I will talk about what I do for a living and you'll better understand why I get the results I do.

That's an intriguingly cryptic statement.

The Dunning-Kruger effect is strong with that one.

I've noticed that too about him.


ProfPlayful 53M
3861 posts
6/25/2017 9:50 am

This is a great post, Red Elf, and it has drawn good discussion.

I can think of only one word to add to the discussion: Denial.

This man was much quicker to acknowledge that you were offended than he was to acknowledge that he had done something wrong. My guess is that it wasn't a ploy. He could not conceive that he had been anything less than a perfect gentleman.

He was in denial about his own faults. It took some effort on your part, but you dragged him kicking and screaming into the light where he saw, perhaps for the first time in his life, that he is not a perfect gentleman.

My featured post this week: Pulling Fantasy Sex Out of My Ass.


Become a member to create a blog