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Beautiful Disaster
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Beautiful Disaster Stomping through the deep of confinement…her cage of misery she seeks escape Pacing endlessly for answers that don’t exist There is no answer to the depth of her sorrow Shaking it with rage and with all her might! Falling to her knees she realizes it is useless Crying she sees a whisper of a chance One moment of hope. the sanctuary provided She begs him to release her, crawling to the edge of the cold metal bars for his forgiveness Regret is but a memory, a shame that will never be undone No one knows her mind, her pain, the deepness it cuts She clings to the bars wanting to know if she can be free! He caresses her cheek and smiles, what a girl, what a tragedy She lowers her head knowing what a DISASTER SHE IS! A twist of the key flutters within her ear She looks in his eyes with hope not understanding why he cares He unlatches the lock, knowing what is to come She falls out and onto his feet surrendering all she is He looks down at her knowing that she is at his mercy forever more Grasping at his every breath she feels relief just knowing she can touch him again She clings to His jeans like it’s the cure of her madness Wanting an end to the confusion and misleading ways of life, she curls his jeans within her grip Leaning down, he pets her hair speaking softly, “all is okay, it will pass soon my luv” With all she has left in her she reaches for his hand and kisses it “I NEED YOU NOW!! I don’t know how to breath without you!” “You touch my soul in ways you will never know! I have traveled many miles with and without you!” Wrapping her arms around his leg knowing the security she feels is the most she has felt since falling away He continues to run his fingers through her hair, “my luv, you’re just healing from what life has dealt” She crumbles, “But Master it wasn’t worth the price, I am a mess, I am but a disaster!” He smiles, “yes but a beautiful one…with lessons you have learned” Lifting her up he brings her in and holds her tightly, “You just don’t see it yet hun” Sobbing she mutters, “But my love never stopped, I tried and I was lost!” Wiping away the tears she puts his face in the palm of her hands “Master, you have been here since the beginning. And you stand here still without judgement!” “Why did I not see it before? Why did I need more? Why did I stray?” Kissing her and he says, “You needed something more and I understand” Pushing her hair back smiling, “You need to know there is more to life than that cage “ She lowers her head, “Master, it was an unforgiving journey, one that lead me to a desert of loneliness and heartache...don't send me back I beg! Isolation, and despair, no one wanted me there." Wrapping her in his arms he says, “shh...my luv, it was a lesson, a hard one, but taught.” Lifting her face to his he kisses he softly again, “Now my luv, you will continue to grow and know that life is as forgiving as you once began to see. Let me hold you and comfort you till you see that I will always be within your reach when you need me." “Stab my heart one million times Master, it is just a gentle cut to what I feel. Tie me to a post and whip me with a bullwhip, I am numb. You can cut this soul in a THOUSAND pieces and I won’t feel the pain. Spilling her heart into a metal jug wrapped in forgotteness Looks at Him…” Why even try? I am not worth the fight!” Tosses the whip at his feet and lays the knife in his hand. “YOU CAN’T PROTECT ME!!!! I am THE DISASTER!!!” Throws herself into the pit of unhappiness she feels she deserves. He looks at her… shakes His head, “No, you are an example of what is left after a disaster.” “You have a choice my Beautiful Disaster… pick up and take your burdens… or lay them down.” “MASTER!!! I DON’T see the answer! GUIDE ME I BEG! My mind is like a ship that has been wrecked, under the sea and forgotten….” Drops down to her knees and smacks her face to the concrete, not seeing her worth. Shaking His head again, “Luv, your worth more than a pirate’s gold, more than the last seed escaping the wind to find a home to survive, you are a masterpiece! A Beautiful Disaster I cherish!!!! Do not succumb to my existence woman! YOU are MORE! Do you not understand my silence? You are a Storm to be reckoned with! A Tornado that takes down those that don’t hear…you are a guiding light, the lightning that causes fire to spark people’s hearts! YOU!!! Woman… yes… you that lays your face to the ground, you are the BOOM that makes thunder shake the ground! “Master, I see but a wilted flower, dying in dry sand…someone that CANNOT TAKE CONTROL!!!! Without you I am NOTHING! I am floating in the darkness, left to rot in the beds of hell! I am cursed to die alone, without love, without mercy! Save me!!!!” Grabbing her hands, He yanks her up… “Look in to my eyes! SEE what I see, don’t make me beg! DISASTER!!!! I repeat myself over and over! YOU take the world by force! You make gasping for air feel like the freshest outcome life can bring, the smallest petal falls and it knows it is the most important flower that fans elegance! I am SCREAMING AT YOU WITH MY SILENCE!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! You can change the world if you only wake to my screams, my cries, my silent tears…You my luv are everything you want to be IF YOU BELIEVE!” Rocked and confused in her own hell she holds onto him. “MASTER!! I do not see what you see…” Tears pouring like a never-ending river from her eyes…” I am nothing… a fragment of existence, mold that grows on the petals that fall, a defeated warrior with no armor… protect me I beg!” Sighing with much patience he says, “Luv you can write what I see, speak it, and still not hear it. I know you are not blind or deaf, you are in pain, pain most cannot feel nor see, looks behind him to see the lady awaiting always and takes a deep breath. “Please, see what difference you can make, know you are strong, worth more than you will EVER believe from my lips.” She grasps onto the last Shooting star that recovers her soul, breaths in the fresh air given by the Goddess of Wisdom Citrine with her last breath, and drinks in the elixir Citafication for happiness and looks at Him. “Master, I need the potion of dreams and hope…” He smiles and hands her the mystic blue potion without hesitation. “Drink this, and see that I am right.” She wraps her fragile weak hands around the bottle entrusting in him with her weakened state. Without hesitation, she listens to find peace that ties the bond that will make her see. She wakes seeing everything clearly! MASTER!!! I can see again!!! I am humbled to you and your guidance! The ingredients of my truth and strength laid before me and I didn’t see! Throwing herself at His mercy she sees the path of hope…dreams, and peace. |
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7/23/2017 12:22 am |
This is a story of pain within herself. i hope you enjoy.
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Interesting , powerful piece my lady wondering how much of it is self inspired .... P
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