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Copulation, Conversation and Respect - in our time.
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Copulation, Conversation and Respect - in our time. This post is only viewable by FriendFinder-x members. Join FriendFinder-x now! |
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7/21/2016 1:52 pm |
OK, here we go, the Weirdo Avoidance and Asshat Identification System (WAAIS) - one step at a time: Step 1 Pay special attention to the little things. ---Something mildly unattractive in this profile? Does something seem slightly inconsistent? He/she/they had hours and days to work on that profile. If it's a little off from this vantage, it's a lot off in person. ---Don't grant exceptions, variances, or leniency in your desires and appraisal of strangers. There will be plenty that you need to overlook and excuse later. And there's plenty of people on here to choose from. If you want "6'2" or over" then stick to it (yay for me!). If you want black dick only (dang for me) then hold the line and ignore everything else. The same is true for those finer-grained qualities that none of us can fit in a profile, like not using the word irregardless, because it's not a fucking word. ---The littlest thing of all, the thing you can't name, can't put your finger on - good or bad - is what you should pay most attention to. Feelings are rooted in the core of your being, they predate your memory, whereas rationale begins and ends in the brain pan. "He doesn't feel right. I don't know why" Nuff said, move on. Conversely, "I just...like her. I can't explain it." Guess what. You've found her. Stop looking. With me so far? [image]
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7/24/2016 12:32 pm |
Step 2 Let your little light shine. ---Meaning, don’t hide. ---Meaning, don’t conceal your appearance or your truest desires any longer than you have to. There’s a benefit to being strangers for a brief period. We can say things to each other which get increasingly harder to bring up the more acquainted we get. It’s the dichotomy of interpersonal relationships; the closer we get, the harder it is to open new doors. Let’s swing them wide (as much as good judgment allows) right from the start. While we are still relative strangers, we can be honest about even our shallower preferences (no judgment implied, just seeking common terminology). For instance, I’ve twice received a version of, “I like a man with less body hair. Would you consider shaving your legs?” Answer: “Not unless there’s a Tough Mudder this weekend. And even then, it’s growing right back. Thanks for letting me know what you like. I wish you luck and happiness!” (Saves everyone time – our most precious asset). Sometimes I bare myself through images or words and encounter rudeness from a stranger, which is inexcusable but not a bad outcome. That’s the Asshat Identification part of the system actually working as designed. You just found the skull and crossbones on the label! Leave that one alone and keep looking. Think best case, though: you find your ideal lover/partner/friend, never to settle for less again. Wow. That’s worth risking rudeness from a stranger, yeah? For me, that’s the winning Powerball ticket. And, yes, if you enjoy exhibitionist tendencies like I do, there’s definitely an “if not here, where?” argument to be made. That’s for another blog post. Another blogger, perhaps. These posts are about the system, and WAAIS will not work very well if you’re concealing, downplaying, denying, or otherwise being coy about essential elements of yourself and your desires. PS - yes, I shave my head for races too. At this point, it always grows back rather quickly. If you're a "bald men only" type gal...check back every few years. I'll certainly update my profile when I no longer need a barber  [image]
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7/29/2016 9:28 am |
Step 3 Say what you mean, then do what you say. This is closely related to Step 1 and Step 2, but not quite the same as either. This one is about consistency of behavior and communicating like an adult in a world of graying adolescents. Sometimes, the only way to flush out a Wierdo or an Asshat is to make him/her a bit uncomfortable. There’s no quicker way to do this than to be candid and frank regarding your expectations – then follow through with action. If you make use of the Q&A feature on FriendFinder-x, you can simply direct people to your responses…so long as they are current and honest. If you don’t care to use that feature, list your non-negotiables in your profile. Examples include: “I expect to email, at most, half a dozen times and then meet in some public place.” “I don’t meet guys alone, so please don’t ask.” The important thing is the follow-through. For the first example above, after the sixth email, ask when/where you’re going to meet and stop corresponding until those questions are answered. For the second example, just block the offender and move on with your life. No need to state that you did. We don't care The system worked for you in that case. Good job! As for preferences that won’t “prove out” until the act is underway, bring those up during your very first conversation. Make sure the other party didn’t miss anything and that you’re making yourself understood. Then see if he/she cancels your date, stops replying to your messages, or manufactures some excuse to distance himself/herself from the correspondence.Finally, none of this has to involve rudeness. Straightforward discussion should still be polite and respectful. In fact, when you’re polite about it and someone goes off on you for rudeness or “being crude” (for heaven’s sake, this is an adult hook-up site…) it’s a sure sign that they’re not being straightforward with you. Also, these caveats, requisites, preferences – whatever you want to call them – do not have to come across as a rant in your profile. ALL CAPS, multiple exclamation points!!!, telling us how popular you are and acting like you’re the only member of FriendFinder-x subjected to unwanted advances…these are all good ways to preemptively turn away those wanted advances (pssssst… for the rest of you, that sort of ranting profile is itself a very good sign of weird asshattery and often emotional instability). That’s it. You now have the entire WAAIS. Stick to your guns, even if it means a lonely night here and there. Masturbation beats mental anguish every time. Good luck and be safe! [image]
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