Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved..... |
And I present to you....
|
And I present to you.... Headlight Lashes!!  For those moments when that giant, silver, work utility truck just isn't girly enough. It's the female equivilent truck nuts... I parked next this thing when I was doing my rolling stop grocery pick yesterday. Behind the wheel of this truck was this tiny little woman yelling into her cell phone on speaker. Cliches everywhere.... Too many to count.... Must move on.... I've heard this logic from quite a few women. "I just don't feel safe unless I'm driving a big truck." Really? Unsafe you say.... Where, exactly, are you driving? It must be a bitch driving those 10 paved miles to get to Wallyworld to curbside pick your weeks worth of groceries. Who are you encountering the way? Are there Somali pirates out there getting ready pillage your haul for toilet paper and sanitizer wipes? I'll bet if you blink those giant, pink headlight lashes at them they'll blush and turn away.... I'll be honest, when I think safety, I'm thinking air bags and remote sensing. I look at my car and I shield my eyes from the glow of safety.... When I get too close to something, it brakes for me. When I go to back and the cameras see something, it beeps at me. If I don't have my seat belt on when I take it out of park, it yells at me. If, for some reason, I still managed somehow wreck my car, my car will call for help using a remote link from my dashboard screen. In this, I feel safe. And those are my Sunday morning thoughts.... Happy Sunday! |
|||
|
I wish I still had my car (I had to stop driving a few years ago). It's times like these that I really miss it.
| ||
|
Safe? I drive a fast as possible - to the front of the pack. Don't have to worry about anything. Except DAMN, wouldn't you know... I can never get to that FRONT. There's always someone in the distance... ahead of me. 
| ||
|
'My, what big eye lashes you have.......' There's a guy in my street who goes out in his massive big shiney car 5 times a day during lockdown, just to go to the shop. The shop is less than 300m away. I reckon he must have a really small dick. So, did your wee wifey have really small tits?? ps - any news on the neighbours?
| ||
|
I wish I still had my car (I had to stop driving a few years ago). It's times like these that I really miss it.
| ||
|
Safe? I drive a fast as possible - to the front of the pack. Don't have to worry about anything. Except DAMN, wouldn't you know... I can never get to that FRONT. There's always someone in the distance... ahead of me. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
| ||
|
'My, what big eye lashes you have.......' There's a guy in my street who goes out in his massive big shiney car 5 times a day during lockdown, just to go to the shop. The shop is less than 300m away. I reckon he must have a really small dick. So, did your wee wifey have really small tits?? ps - any news on the neighbours?
| ||
|
Hi secret_lade hmm, I thought with the "new" you and starting a great year that this post might be a little different and, of course, it was, just more different than I expected I thought that I had seen everything, until I travelled internationally yes, some vehicles are very safe others, not so safe, for instance when I was in Taipei, Bangkok, Manila, Mumbai, and other cities around the world, I marvelled at the records people were trying to break for maximum capacity it seemed like a one person scooter, moped or motocycle needed to be used for more than what it had been built for I counted six people on two wheels on more than one occasion, usually, there would be one person on the handle bars, one on the gas tank, and the rest balancing over any potentially open placement I kid you not so, safety like beauty sometimes is relegated to some beholder's mentality and, eyelashes on a car can be some sort of subliminal message of what, I'll never know be safe hmm Smiley - My Present for you (feat. Jazzy Jo) You call my name and I, I shudder deep inside, Can I be the breath that you take in, Can I be the flesh beneath your skin, You call my name And I... So many roads I've been on, So many you's I've dreamed of But never found someone like you. Now that i've got you by my side, Hear my song for you please be kind Listen... This is my present for you...
| ||
|
Hi secret_lade hmm, I thought with the "new" you and starting a great year that this post might be a little different and, of course, it was, just more different than I expected I thought that I had seen everything, until I travelled internationally yes, some vehicles are very safe others, not so safe, for instance when I was in Taipei, Bangkok, Manila, Mumbai, and other cities around the world, I marvelled at the records people were trying to break for maximum capacity it seemed like a one person scooter, moped or motocycle needed to be used for more than what it had been built for I counted six people on two wheels on more than one occasion, usually, there would be one person on the handle bars, one on the gas tank, and the rest balancing over any potentially open placement I kid you not so, safety like beauty sometimes is relegated to some beholder's mentality and, eyelashes on a car can be some sort of subliminal message of what, I'll never know be safe hmm Smiley - My Present for you (feat. Jazzy Jo) You call my name and I, I shudder deep inside, Can I be the breath that you take in, Can I be the flesh beneath your skin, You call my name And I... So many roads I've been on, So many you's I've dreamed of But never found someone like you. Now that i've got you by my side, Hear my song for you please be kind Listen... This is my present for you... To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog: Good luck!!! 
| ||
|
I 100% agree on the nudity and nuts. If someone were showing a child those images on a computer, it would be against the law. How is it ok on the outside of a vehicle?
| ||
|
Yeah, I think they may be talking about what happens when they get run into by a big old truck if they are in a little tiny compact versus a big old truck themselves.  All those bells and whistles don't stop the crushing force of a couple tons of steel barreling down on your ass, those air bags become as useful as fart bags (whoopy cushions) or whatever they call them noise makers. 
| ||
|
I tend to agree.... It is a sense of ego and a symbol of masculinity. Those big vehicles will tend to drive more aggressively and their sheer size kind of hogs the road. I've been on narrow roads before with large oncoming trucks hovering on and over the yellow line and they don't budge an inch.
| ||
|
I witnessed a roll over accident with a truck once... I think seeing that has kind of sullied me on the safety thing. The top of the truck had crushed right in like a pop can that someone had smashed down on. I remembered thinking, holy crap, how are they going to get out of that thing?
| ||
|
I can think of at least TWO instances when my truck (sans eyelashes) saved me from the pillaging Somali pirates...and possibly more times that I'm not aware of!  It has also saved me countless times from animal attacks that would have been successful had I been driving something smaller. I also know of one instance when someone ran into the back of my truck while I was stopped at a light. Had I been in a smaller vehicle, it would have been damaged. The truck, however, was not damaged. Can't say that about the person who hit me! 
| ||
|
It sounds like YOUR car should have the big set of nuts swinging in the back.
| ||
|
I have the lane assist shut off because I, too, like to be in charge when I'm behind the wheel. I do like the auto sensing cruise control, though. I keep the auto brake on as a just in case, it has only been needed once, but it saved me from an accident. The roads were icy one morning when I was dropping my daughter off for school. A car cut me off and immediately hit their brakes... They were driving too fast and avoiding hitting the car in front of them and pulled out in front of me. My anti-lock brakes weren't stopping me fast enough... The auto brake kicked in and we stopped on a dime. The weirdest thing I remember, though, was my brake pedal moving out from under my foot, all on it's own.
| ||
|
Yeah, I think they may be talking about what happens when they get run into by a big old truck if they are in a little tiny compact versus a big old truck themselves. All those bells and whistles don't stop the crushing force of a couple tons of steel barreling down on your ass, those air bags become as useful as fart bags (whoopy cushions) or whatever they call them noise makers. Vive La Difference
| ||
|
I can think of at least TWO instances when my truck (sans eyelashes) saved me from the pillaging Somali pirates...and possibly more times that I'm not aware of! It has also saved me countless times from animal attacks that would have been successful had I been driving something smaller. I also know of one instance when someone ran into the back of my truck while I was stopped at a light. Had I been in a smaller vehicle, it would have been damaged. The truck, however, was not damaged. Can't say that about the person who hit me! Pagan  Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!
| ||
5/24/2020 5:56 am |
It sounds like YOUR car should have the big set of nuts swinging in the back.
|
Become a member to create a blog
