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It's 2:18 am.....  

secret_lade 49F
14128 posts
3/6/2021 11:52 pm
It's 2:18 am.....


Of course I'm wide awake.

I've been wide awake for a while now.....

My mind is my Middle and the realization that his time with me is coming a close. In short weeks he'll be shipping out basic training and his life will be....

Beginning again.

The time for him be my little guy is done, it has been done, but until now I've been able hang that notion that I can keep him safe, keep him protected.

Probably one of the best things he could have done for this year, his last year at home, was become independent, breaking out of the old familial routines. It was subtle, but slowly... The of us became the two of us as the majority of the outings and adventures were with just the Spawn and I.

He is doing his own thing.

That was the hard part.... Picturing what life would be like without him in it every single day.

No need drive him school anymore, he now drives himself. No more band concerts or robotics tournaments to attend, his new school interests were welding and auto shop. No longer did he want to hang out at the beach or go on my adventures, he was going on adventures of his own with his friends and coworkers.

So, little by little, I got used to a life without him in it every single day.

Tonight he told me that his Sargent doesn't think the COVID restrictions are going to be lifted in time for his graduation from basic training, that the Spawn and I may not be able to see him in person on that special day...

And I cried.

There isn't a whole lot in his next chapter that I get to be a part of, but that was something.

Something big!

And now I'll most likely be watching it live stream from many states away, wearing my gross old pajamas with my hair in a<b> weird </font></b>bun. Kinda negates the specialness of the event when you can snack chips and view this moment in history from a toilet seat.

Not that I plan doing either of those.... Just sayin'.

It appears it is time bring this post a close as I've made myself cry again.

Damn it's hard be parent....

Everyone always tells you how difficult life is when they are a baby. They don't warn you about how difficult it is watch them become an adult.

secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/7/2021 5:12 pm

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    That's rubbish McLade, sorry. Here's a big hug from scotland for you......
thank you... can definitely use that hug.


lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
3/7/2021 2:40 pm

That's rubbish McLade, sorry. Here's a big hug from scotland for you......


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/7/2021 10:16 am

    Quoting citizen4722:
    Such a shame that you may not get the chance to see your son on that very special day.
    This bloody COVID malarkey has got a hell of a lot to answer for.
Oh yes it does!! It's ruined some special moments for me....


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/7/2021 10:15 am

    Quoting  :

I will most definitely miss him. I am so thankful I got the opportunity to work with him the brief time we worked together.... Those memories will stick with me. I have to say, I do feel pride in knowing I raised strong, confident, ready to take on the world children.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/7/2021 9:56 am

    Quoting TicklePlease:
    I truly hope that things change faster than expected, and you can get to see him graduate in person!
I really hope so too.... COVID has done a lot of harm to a lot of people's lives in one way or another.


citizen4722 66M  
74582 posts
3/7/2021 9:02 am

Such a shame that you may not get the chance to see your son on that very special day.
This bloody COVID malarkey has got a hell of a lot to answer for.


TicklePlease 56F  
13851 posts
3/7/2021 6:11 am

I truly hope that things change faster than expected, and you can get to see him graduate in person!


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/7/2021 5:39 am

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    When your on your "throne" munching chips and streaming the event, I would suggest plain tortilla chips. You don't want nacho cheese fingers during "clean up" time..... just sayin'.
Oh yikes! LOL We definitely don't need a nacho cheese situation during something that important!


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/7/2021 5:34 am

    Quoting flannel_light:
    My thoughts and prayers goes out to you all
thank you flannel


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/7/2021 5:31 am

    Quoting  :

When he tells me things like, I'm not leaving I'm following opportunity, it makes smile. I know he's right, this is an opportunity for him. I'm doing better than I was in the beginning...


mc_justmc 63M

3/7/2021 5:14 am

When your on your "throne" munching chips and streaming the event, I would suggest plain tortilla chips. You don't want nacho cheese fingers during "clean up" time..... just sayin'.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/7/2021 5:12 am

    Quoting  :

When I met with the recruiter during enlistment he had given me a ton of information, including a website for marine parents. I need to start accessing it again, it was very helpful. I read through quite a few parent forums then, it helped to know I wasn't alone in my feelings.


flannel_light 61F
4586 posts
3/7/2021 3:56 am

My thoughts and prayers goes out to you all

The Light is shinning and she is lonely and waiting in the darkness.


serviciosecreto7 49M
1 post
3/7/2021 12:51 am

Hello lovely


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/6/2021 11:53 pm

Of course I'm wide awake.

I've been wide awake for a while now.....

My mind is on my Middle Son and the realization that his time with me is coming to a close. In 12 short weeks he'll be shipping out to basic training and his life will be....

Beginning again.

The time for him to be my little guy is done, it has been done, but up until now I've been able to hang on to that notion that I can keep him safe, keep him protected.

Probably one of the best things he could have done for me this year, his last year at home, was to become independent, breaking out of the old familial routines. It was subtle, but slowly... The three of us became the two of us as the majority of the outings and adventures were with just the Spawn and I.

He doing his own thing.

That was the hard part.... Picturing what life would be like without him in it every single day.

No need to drive him to school anymore, he now drives himself. No more band concerts or robotics tournaments to attend, his new school interests were welding and auto shop. No longer did he want to hang out at the beach or go on my adventures, he was going on adventures of his own with his friends and coworkers.

So, little by little, I got used to a life without him in it every single day.

Tonight he told me that his Sargent doesn't think the COVID restrictions are going to be lifted in time for his graduation from basic training, that the Spawn and I may not be able to see him in person on that special day...

And I cried.

There isn't a whole lot in his next chapter that I get to be a part of, but that was something.

Something big!

And now I'll most likely be watching it live stream from many states away, wearing my gross old pajamas with my hair up in a weird bun. Kinda negates the specialness of the event when you can snack on chips and view this moment in history from a toilet seat.

Not that I plan on doing either of those.... Just sayin'.

It appears it is time to bring this post to a close as I've made myself cry again.

Damn it's hard to be parent....

Everyone always tells you how difficult life is when they are a baby. They don't warn you about how difficult it is to watch them become an adult.


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