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| Blogs > VenusRedux2 > Conversing with the Divine |
The Compulsive Need to Ask "What Are You Into?"
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The Compulsive Need to Ask "What Are You Into?" This is one of those questions that guys just can’t help themselves but to ask. It is a common obsessive/compulsive psychopathy here. By "common" I really mean "ubiquitous." I have not in recent memory had a conversation where this somehow did not get asked this question. Why do you guys ask this question? “I’m just trying to get to know her” Actually, that’s an honest answer. But that only makes it more reprehensible. The one and only thing guys want to know about us is our sexual proclivities. That’s really what bothers women the most about it. Nothing else is of any interest, except the degree of freakiness. You don’t want to get to know her and what type of person she is, you merely want to know what kind of sex you can expect from her. This reduces women to the status of mere sexual plaything. It is demeaning and insensitive. The problem here is that, even if I were to answer it, it doesn’t open up conversation. Here’s what happens if you try: Him: What are you into? Me: Nothing particularly exotic Him: Oral sex? Vaginal sex? Me: I think that’s a pretty safe assumption for nearly all women here Him: Nothing else? Me: As I said, nothing exotic Him: How about anal? Do you like anal sex? Me: I just met you, I’m not having anal sex with you Him: I know, I’m just wondering what you like is all Me: I’m not a big fan of anal, and I absolutely won’t do it with a new partner Him: But you’ve done it? Me: Why is it so important for you to hear me say it? Yes, I’ve done it I hope it was worth it to hear me say that, because now I’m defensive and annoyed This is NOT a conversation. None of these questions need to be asked. Nothing of any significance got revealed. It is not getting you any closer to meeting me. You’re sending all the wrong messages and you’re losing points every step of the way. I will keep repeating this until it sinks in, but early in the conversation you only have a limited number of lines before I become disinterested. Don’t waste them on this kind of word fluff. You know what a conversation like this sounds like to women who get this? Let me tell you how this comes across: Him: What are you into? I need to get off. So I need to hear about your sexual exploits Me: The usual stuff Him: That’s not good enough. You have to describe it in detail. You need to use words like “pussy” and “tits” or I won’t be able to masturbate to completion. Do you like sucking dick? Me: I enjoy oral Him: No! You have to say DICK. Do you like sucking DICK?? Oh my god, I’m so fucking HARD here and you’re not helping. Do it right!!!! Me: Ok, ok … don’t have an aneurysm … I like sucking dick Him: Do you want dick in your pussy? Me: What you’re describing is sex. This is a sex site. I’m pretty sure everyone here enjoys sex or they wouldn’t bother being here Him: No! You have to say how WET your PUSSY is Me: Because you’re being so insistent … yeah, my pussy gets wet when I think about having sex, doesn’t everyone’s? Him: Unghh …. unghhh …. ohhh … mmmmmmm Him: I just came in my pants. Want me to take a pic of it for you? Me: Seriously? What are you? 12? This sounds like a bad Beavis and Butthead skit. Yet this is what you guys sound like when you hammer away at asking me about my sexual interests! Guys, when you ask about my sexual interests, it is entirely because you need to be titillated by hearing me use sexual expressions. It is infantile. It sounds like you’re seeking praise for “making poopy like a big boy.” Act like a friggin MAN! Act like someone who’s been around women before. “If you were to ask the question in return, then maybe we’d actually have a conversation, that’s how conversations work” We won’t ever ask in return. Here’s why: Because it is way too early in the conversation for us to be thinking about what kind of sex we can expect from you. “You can’t deny that sexual compatibility is important” I have yet to find a fetish so bizarre or absurd that the guy I’m talking to was put off by it. So this is a ridiculous assertion. “It’s a SEX site, what’s wrong with talking about sexual interests?” Oh, I WILL be talking about sex while I’m here. Dirty, raunchy sex. Sorry if I gave the impression otherwise. I just won’t be talking about it with you. You’re not savvy enough to draw it out of me. Trying to skip the “drawing it out of me” part out of some misguided notion of “this is a sex site for crying out loud” is guaranteed failure. So go ahead and keep insisting on it. See where that gets you. Guys, we like sex. There’s really no need to ask. It never opens up conversation. At best, you’ll get an evasive answer such as “Nothing weird or exotic.” At worst, you’ll end up antagonizing her. Being that it doesn’t ever help you, just don’t ask the question. Wherever you planned on taking the conversation after that part, just skip straight to that. You’ll progress the conversation a whole lot farther that way. |
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I always reply "in what way?" when i get asked this,,, once i went into a load of BS about my desires because I was pissed off.. and he then said... "oh, I meant types of music/films etc,,, what do you like to do!" I felt a right twonk 
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I hate those interrogations here. Big turn off.
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Thank you. I'll learn for the future 
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Thank you, thank you, thank you. This has to be the best post I've read on here. That's exactly how I feel and how they make me feel. You couldn't have put it any better. I often tell them I don't like to put it all out on the table, it ruins the excitement. I get the same responses as you and I tell them, I'm on a sex site so it's safe to say that not only do I like sex but I am not just looking for "vanilla" sex.
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I know you state so much of the obvious, but again, I hope when men read through your blog exactly how they come off to women, it means that for some, the penny will finally drop. Obvious points, but unfortunately required reading for many
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Love your interpretation how it comes across when we get asked these questions (over and over again.....). Hit the nail right on the head with this post. Well said. x
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It is amazing to me how many of the questions that get asked in EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION are all bad questions. Guys, time to strip them all out and find a new approach.
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