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So I had the best time at a swinger's meet and greet last night...
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So I had the best time at a swinger's meet and greet last night... I am not going to go into the deepest level of detail of my observations, but I had such awesome time sorting out my mixed feelings after dropping into a swinger's club's meet and greet for a couple of hours before being the first person to rush off the room. It was a good thing, too, that I couldn't stay for the whole night, because I was already pissing someone off without realizing how I did it, because I am not really a swinger. I am a polyandrist, but not a swinger, in essence, close, but no cigar. So, I am a natural polyandrist, meaning that whatever I CHOOSE to do, my natural alignment is polyandry, meaning that I am "built" to form lasting romantic and sexual relationships to several men in a marriage-like arrangement. I am not a serial monogamist, although that is often how polyandrous women wind up being in a monogamous society, but I am a polyandrist. The natural way for me to live would be to share a house with my several husbands and live and love in that way. That is my code for happiness. Being a polyandrist woman makes me the odd one out in all events where there's a lot of women around. As logic would dictate, to make matching possible, most women are polygynous by their natural alignment where as most men are polyandrous. Hence all the drama in relationships, as the most likely match is a polyandrous man to a polygynous woman, which creates a mess between two inherently incompatible people. In events where there are mainly men, I am the odd one out because of my gender, but not by the way I think, as most men, like myself, are naturally polyandrous. This has always caused difficulties in my relationships with women, as I don't instinctively understand what they're on about, any more than what they understand me. So here's this delicious emotional mess I got into with a handsome but relatively new couple I met at the meet. (So this was drinks only, so no on-site sex was on the menu, but of course, I'm sure people would continue to each others’ houses from there. I had no intention to actually go anywhere with anyone unless a one-in-a-million type a guy would show up, equally misplaced as I was, and he didn't, but...) There was an instant chemistry I felt with one of the men who walked in. For a second, I thought he was alone, but he was with a woman, like most men, short for one or two, were. No drama, that was to be expected. I must point out that most people are completely unaware of their natural polyleaning, and this causes interesting situations in social interactions even in professional settings. I already knew that at a swinger's party, I was going to be on "enemy territory" so to speak, so I wasn't quite sure how I was going to play it. I declared my heterosexuality a little bit too much, as it is the closest thing explaining polyandry to a bunch of likely unaware-of-it polygynists and polygamists without going into detail, but most polygynist women think they're straight. This is because women think it is natural to feel sexually attracted to other women, as it is, so they don’t interpret “straight” the same way as actually straight women do. So there was a miscommunication there... Several of them, actually. This is the most interesting situation I wound up in: So this guy I feel an instant chemistry to must be a natural polyandrist because otherwise, he'd be lukewarm water to me. We also understood each others’ body language and glances, which doesn't happen between polygynist men and polyandrous women, who are just as clueless about each other than polyandrous and polygynous women are of each other. Polyandrous men are used to dealing with polygynous women, even though it doesn't happen naturally, they've figured them out, more or less. This is because most men are polyandrous and most women are polygynous, even though the vast majority is oblivious to it, as I said. Monogamous society forces polygynous women and polyandrous men into relationships that are completely unnatural to them. So back to the night: He is clearly interested, but doesn't jump into it as he's assessing whether he's reading the situation wrong, where's the man; who is in charge of me... That is how (most) polyandrists think: men are in charge. "If I want to fuck a man's wife, I'll have to ask his permission", and I agree. I chat with plenty of people before they finally approach me, him before her. Eventually, she joins the conversation, and I sense a familiar hostility from her, which I am a little surprised by nonetheless because all of these women are nearly flirting with me in comparison. This is, however, what I'm used to, but she doesn't hide her annoyance well, which is very unusual. As I first sensed her annoyance and knew she was interested IN ME, I explained I was straight, to which she replied with an annoyed tone: "Yeah I'm straight, too, and I don't like pretending to be gay just to sleep with someone else's husband." That didn't make any sense to me at all, as she was CLEARLY interested in me, which to me signaled major bisexual vibes. She also mentions "someone else's husband", which, to me is English for "......" - exactly nothing. What do I care if he's married or not, right, if he wants me, then clearly, he isn't REALLY married, because that's the way MY brain works. As a heterosexual polyandrist, I normally pay 0 attention to women. It's like they don't exist. I am not interested. I am friendly with them, but only if they approach me and I HAVE TO be friendly, just so I'm not being a bitch. Otherwise, if they fall off the planet I won't notice. The only women I get along with with ease are other polyandrist women because their primary focus is also on men, not on women. I could talk about men all day, every day, without feeling at all annoyed about "us women not having anything else to talk about besides men", because hell, what else is there?! The Polyandrist women could make a living talking about all the wonderful men in this world - me for certain. So I'm already puzzled with her, she is annoyed because I bring up being straight, "like it mattered here", I could almost hear her thoughts, but she seems to<b> forgive </font></b>me because I'm a first timer and explains she too, is "straight". "So how are we going to get your attention?!" she finally snaps at me. That makes 0 sense to me at that point, because I've been talking to them for at least a half an hour by then, but after analyzing it all at home, I realized what she meant. Even though I live and breathe sexual relationships, human interaction in a sexual context and namely poly relationships on a daily basis, my practical forays to the world of the poly people, especially the polygynist variant, are limited to say the least. (I study psychology in spirit, but the experience isn't 100% comparable to the real life obviously, but FUUUCK is it educational!) Still, this didn't instantly click. So I laugh it off as I have no idea what got her so pissed off so fast, but I know I did something wrong. And here's what I did: I flirted with her boyfriend, NOT with her. I was supposed to be wheeling and dealing over his immediate sexual future with her, not with him. As a polyandrist, this doesn't jive with me at all, because I want to win HIM over, not her. I want HIM to decide he wants to fuck my brain out, and if she deals him to me, what the fuck is the achievement in that? That's taking us both for babies, the way I feel. I don't give two shits about her opinion on me, but to her, a man is mainly a tool to bond with women. To a polygynist, the achievement is in talking another woman into handing over her husband. In my books, that makes her a full-blown lesbian. The other part to her annoyance was this: To share a husband or a boyfriend with someone means that the women agree each other to be hot and "worthy". This is the same exact thing that goes on with polyandrists in reverse; they want to share their wives or girlfriends with men who they deem to be worthy. When I went over her head about her boyfriend, she considered it being dismissive of her, as she had already extended the olive branch so to speak. Anyway, not knowing what exactly I did wrong, I kinda excuse myself to a pair of stone-faced people before I go home, which also baffled me. She said she'd email me later, another faux pas on my part - I gave my card to him, not her - but by the time I was leaving, they were both vacantly staring into the distance rather than saying goodbye to me like people normally would. This was far from what I'd expect to see with "let's have sex later" people, but what happened there, and again, I had to read her emotion by comparing her reaction to his reaction, which I CAN read; he was disappointed this didn't go the way he hoped, and to hide the disappointment, people go stone-faced. The odd thing was they BOTH did it, which wouldn't normally happen in any other social circumstance, and in any situation I’d normally get into, she would still happily say good bye to me, even if he was staring into the distance pretending not to notice me leaving. So I had a ball, regardless, and I am so happy I went. I learned so much in a span of hours, but I'm also glad I couldn't stay because this had a potential to turn very ugly very soon. I was getting interesting vibes from this guy, and as he was new, I was new, and as we would have both thought the same way, we could have created a major mess just by that fact alone. The moral of this story is; when venturing into a strange country, find out their customs first. I am so glad they offered this opportunity to check them out. I fucking loved to see people having proper fun for a change. I am SO TIRED of watching married couples "have fun" by having a sophisticated meal at Taste, followed by an arty night at MONA. Nothing wrong with either, I do enjoy my art and my meals, but FUCK what's the point without getting properly rooted at the end of a fun night out?! Even though I wasn't going to go anywhere or be with anyone, I freaking loved others starting to feel the buzz. So I don't know whether I'll get an invite again, I am not an immediate match with anyone, because of the way I think, but damned there's a massive potential for fun and games around these people. Still, I don't know if I should try and organize something a bit more polyandry friendly myself. Of course, I've had some ideas for a long time, but but but... One must ponder, as simply describing the kind of parties I'd like would raise the hairs in the back of every feminist on a thousand mile radius. S |
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4/24/2018 5:27 am |
Hi Sebs ... great read and well said! And of course there’s another invite waiting for you when we have another function. Cheers John
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4/24/2018 6:23 am |
Thanks John 
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