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How did we get here? AND Our thoughts on swinging....  

mwc4bimale74 50M/50F
0 posts
3/29/2017 8:07 pm
How did we get here? AND Our thoughts on swinging....


Hello all,
Glad your reading this!!

Although we have been together going on 7 years, this time, our history brought us to here and our hearts were together for the last 25 years.

We both were a couple when we were<b> teenagers. </font></b>We got along too well... we got too close, and we got scared. We never fought, we really just loved spending time together. One day, we call it quits. No reason, just young, dumb, and scared of commitment.

We both got married at a young age, to the next relationship, with a pregnancy. Our sons are one month apart in age. We both got stuck with a spouse completely opposite of our desires, wants, and needs. Our spouses were more controlling than anything, takers, not givers. We both just wore ourselves out trying to keep our spouse happy. You get to a point when you just dont care anymore, and stop trying. When a husband says to his wife, you have to have sex with me, you have to get me off, I own you, and I have a piece of paper that says so, its time to leave. When a wife that thinks partying and drinking with 20 year olds is better than being a wife or mother, its time to leave. Not only was that our spouses, both of our spouses were cheating. We both stayed with our spouses for a few more years, we swore til death do us part, but eventually getting divorced. Why did we stay so long??

Both of us, after 18 years of marriage, found ourselves divorced... would you believe we never spoke for that 18 years, even though we thought of each other always!

We met a couple times, and picked up right where we left off 18 years earlier!
We are soul mates, we adore each other, we both hate that we gave up our most attractive and best years away to someone else that didnt appreciate us.

One thing we have 100% of, honesty. We talk about everything, we hide nothing, we share fantasies, wants, needs, desires, etc.
Part of that is realizing, every person has sexual desires. Every person has fantasies. In most marriages, you have to keep those to yourselves. You dont want to be laughed at, called names, belittled, etc. We have a nearly perfect marriage and friendship. We tell each other anything, no judgement. We respect each other. We live life as one, not two individuals. We are one. Our friends have to see us as ONE, if they see us as individuals, they are not friends.

Sex has two roles outside of making ....

1. It builds and bonds a relationship. You connect as one, in a caring loving fashion. Making love. Soft, sensual, spirited, and soul binding with the right person.

2. Pleasure, fantasy, excitement, experimenting, trying new things, and letting your mind go crazy. Much like going to a concert, or a theme park to ride a roller coaster, etc. Its just fun, exciting, and pleasurable. They imagination is your own limit.

These two things, although both involve sexual contact, are two entirely different things! One is for binding and love, the other is for pleasure. You can do anything you want or desire for pleasure and excitement, and not ever involve love. How awesome is it to make a realization that you CAN live out fantasies, and seek pleasure, and not involve love, or effect your love life. When two people have complete trust and love for each other, this really isnt that hard to pull off. Its making your spouse your number one, ALWAYS. "Friends" are toys that you play with for fun and pleasure, they do not in any way count when it comes to the marriage. Separation is very important.

You have boundaries, and certain things that belong to your spouse only. These things are Never shared. You dont talk about your personal life and secrets with a friend. You dont share your feelings. You dont share the cuddeling, and romance. You dont share your personal life. You dont share your soul.

Swinging is not ever for a relationship "missing something" and is never for a "replacement" for anything else in your relationship. If you share those things with a "friend" you are not swinging, you are cheating. Way too many people confuse swinging and cheating. They are not in anyway connected or like each other. In Swinging, your spouse and their feelings always come first. When cheating, its all about you and selfishness, you really dont care and just want to get off. Very very stark difference. One other huge difference in swinging, we LOVE watching each other be pleasured! There is no better high than watching your spouse moan with pleasure HOT. Cheating creates jealousy... again, another stark difference.

Thats our take!
Let us know your thoughts!
M and J

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