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Variations on a Swinging article comment  

3FreqsOnnaLeash 54G  
92 posts
1/29/2010 6:31 am

Last Read:
12/26/2017 12:51 am

Variations on a Swinging article comment


The article in question would be from this websites member articles. It has to do with something I have been tossing around for some time now. It has to do with how to explain the dynamics of open relationships and dealing with other people, the connections between those people, and how it affects the overall expereince.

I simplified what I was speakin on as it was a comment and not an actual article. I may post my own article later on, building on this blog, hopefully with some thought provoking comments from my dear readers.

OK, so here's what I have!

Now take away the variations of swingers, from the people looking for real connection to the folks that are there for the free for all. Lets look at basic relational dynamics.

In a couple, you have one connection between the two people. Now in our relationship with Jamie, many folks just assume that adding another woman just doubles the potential issues, and here's where my thought process started.
The reality is it's almost an exponential figure as it adds twice the issues on top of the existing ones in a triad. Even more when you add a fourth person.

Lets simplify it with some visual aids! Get some paper and writing instrument (homework! Woot!).

Write a 1 and a 2 with a short line between them, the line being the personal connection.
Now, write a 3 below the 1 and make a line from it to the 1, and another to the 3. We now have 3 lines of connection, hence not twice the potential issues, but 3 times as many.
Now, lets have some real fun. Write a 4 under the 2. Draw lines from it to the 1, to the 2, and to the 3. If you count them all you'll have a grand total of SIX lines of connection.
How's that for a mind fuck?
Wanna have some real fun, take our situation as a triad, and try adding a couple to that,... Take your previous four numbers, write a 5 next to them and draw an additional four lines to each of the other numbers. Thats TEN connections that have to work for five people that require more than passing attraction in common to get naked.

Anyway, back to the typical scneario of two couples!
Taking our visual aid in mind, think of four people, or two couples, each single one of those connections has the potential to affect every one of the others in varying degrees.
And people ask why it's so hard to meet a "real couple". Hah! As if it were just a single connection between two pairs!

OK, if you're at that point in your lives as a swingers that you can attend a party/orgy, and just go at whomever is willing, and then go home w/o a thought, this doesn't really apply to you.
At least not till someone else catches more than pasing frictional attention of you or your mate. THEN it gets interesting again!
But lets hope not, not trying to jinx anyone here, just thinking out loud(ish).

OK then!!!
Thats what happens when my meds wear off.
I'd be happy to hear from anyone with CONSTRUCTIVE, well articulated inputs. Anything else will just be deleted, so dont bother. It's my blog, deal w. it.

Thanks!

firegryphon 54F
5903 posts
1/29/2010 7:53 am

I guess I suppose that depends on your outlook in the first place. Many ppl assume that swinging couples/open relationships are that way because there's something missing in the first place. I've spoken long as loud that this isn't really the case or at least shouldn't be. The point of the lifestyle is to take it to the next level and ADD to an already happy relationship. Whether it's just for some sexual thrills or deeper connections - either way........the idea is that you're adding that much more.

I like the visual aid tho.

Just sayin...

The only thing I HAVE to do is eat, shit, and die. Everything else is a choice.


3FreqsOnnaLeash replies on 1/29/2010 3:32 pm:
See now, homework isn't always evil!

But you bring up an excellent point.
People that come into swinging thinking they are missing something and are there to try and fix thier relationship are among the worst kind of people in the lifestyle. Comitted couples that enter the lifestyle have to have a solid bond, a firm relational foundation on wich to add a new realm of potentials.

Frequently, people that try swinging to fill a hole just end up digging a bigger one. The bitch is they tend to pull others down with them!

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