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An observation concerning trust
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An observation concerning trust When someone trusts you, if you are smart, you understand the responsibility you have to uphold that trust. If someone has been damaged in the past, and you make the effort to draw them out and help them heal, make no mistake that if you betray that trust the damage you do will be exponentially worse. One of my playmates had experienced a horrific sexual assault some ago. It kept her from allowing some things, certain touching, embracing, some activities that she enjoyed before. It was also why she had such a problem finding someone that could top her properly I think, she had a tendency to flip the scene and become the top. It may have something to do with the nature of the people she chose to with, they were too safe perhaps. If you can never truly relax control it will be impossible to let go and allow someone to top you. When we met she was attracted, and intimidated in the right ways. Having two wives and observing my interactions with them gave her some comfort I believe, enough so that she decided to give me a shot. There were a couple issues as I learned where her limits were, finding the painful spots, and some conversation about what the issue was so we could work around it. Communication is essential when you have underlying hurts or are dealing with someone that has them. We talk well, and move well, the feedback is clear and open both in physical reaction and verbal communication. It's not always so, paying attention is important. Pushing someone into a bad space will ruin the experience, so think with the big brain first! The reason I bring it up is this last appointment I pushed her further and harder than ever before as far as the scene went, but also in those areas she had displayed problems before. For instance, she went from having an issue if my hand was anywhere near her neck to having in a veritable headlock from behind as I did my best to effectively tear her nerves apart (a good thing, I assure you). The other items are the same, no resistance, no hesitance, total trust. We discussed it and she has come to the conclusion that where I am concerned there are no limits, and while she is my willing toy to use/abuse as I please, one misstep could bring all her trauma back to the top with the force of a hammer to the head. So, I appreciate not only the trust given, but the responsibility that comes with it.  |
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