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In the Beginning
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In the Beginning I was somewhat surprised to learn at a fairly young age that I have a large cock. Everything is relative as they say and I never thought much about it as being anything but normal until I was a going through puberty. As it happens, this was fairly late for me as I was probably almost fifteen before I actually went through puberty. Before that, I was always a little pre-occupied with sex, or more accurately at the time, masturbation. I was 18 before I actually had sex with someone else and she was much more experienced than me. I should back up a little and explain that while I never had sex with someone I did have what could be called mutual masturbation with a girl who was both older and wiser than me when I was 14. That was also my first inkling that I might be well endowed as well. Playing sports through grade school of course put me in showers with other boys by that time and since I was so late getting to puberty I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary there either. As a matter of fact, I had always assumed by the fleeting glimpses at other boy's equipment in showers that I was on the small end of the scale. Not as small as some, but not overly large either. Discovering masturbation very early, I was also very interested in learning everything I could learn about the sex act as I realized that was the next step in what seemed to be an earth shatteringly pleasing way to experience pleasure. I read everything I could find, which in pre-internet days wasn't that much to be honest. I had a friend who had an older brother that seemed to collect<b> pornography </font></b>and we would sneak into his room to gawk at the pictures and read the articles in what was some pretty randy stuff. I surmised the basics from these adventures but actually had no experience of a sexual nature before I met Brenda on the school bus. Brenda was a junior when I was a freshman in high school. She was from a rather poor family, much like my own so she wound up riding the school bus all the way through her junior year. Most found any way to avoid riding the bus. This included brothers or parents who might take them to school on the way to work or friends who had cars of their own. I lived in a very rural area and the school bus ride was quite long and very uncomfortable. The bus would pick me up a little after 6 in the morning and one transfer to another bus later I would arrive at school about 5 minutes before 8. What filled the time in between was a lot of bouncing on rutted roads, stopping frequently to pick up passengers and torment by older who had nothing better to do than make life miserable for anyone unfortunate enough to be too weak or small to force them to stop. I early on figured out how to avoid this problem and was soon left alone with my thoughts on the bus most of the time. I had a couple of friends who rode the same bus when we started to high school but most of them got on much later than I did so I was usually just doing homework, reading a book, or staring out the window as we bounced our way down those winding roads on the way to and from school. Brenda's family lived close to my house so she was on the bus almost as long as I was. I had noticed her the year before going to grade school but when we both were making the same transfer as well she came into clearer focus for me. I think I ignored her for much of the first year we lived there because she was so much older. She had a sister named JoAnne who was quite popular with boys as she was quite well endowed in the breast department. JoAnne and Brenda were both quite pretty but JoAnne worked harder on makeup and flirting while Brenda seemed to be rather aloof and unconcerned with anyone else at all. She was a year older than JoAnne and had wavy brown hair that came just past her shoulders. She was very trim and athletic looking with a nice figure that was thinner and less rounded than JoAnne but she had the most fantastic looking rounded butt that she made little effort to show off with tight jeans. She always wore Levis that looked old and faded and favored more a men's style, with none of the high waisted tightness that girls at the time usually favored. She usually wore a buckskin jacket with the fringes on the sleeves and moccasins on her feet. When it was too warm for the jacket she favored denim shirts which she usually left untucked. I thought she was beautiful when I first saw her but became even more infatuated with her as time went on. She seemed above the loud squalor that often went with riding the bus and usually had her head in a book as we made our way back and forth. I studied her carefully from afar, always careful not to let her notice but she probably noticed it anyway as she had on more than one occasion looked up from her reading and caught me watching her even though I always quickly looked away; panicked that she would think I was some kind of a jerk. This went on for a little while until one day she was late getting on the bus to go home. I knew she was dating one of the seniors at school. Bruce was in my study hall. He actually had talked to me on several occasions as we were often seated in the same area because of our names. He was one of the pot smokers and latter day hippies at the school. He was somewhat of a rebel in a lot of ways but was a thoroughly uncomplicated and nice guy as well. I knew he and Brenda were dating because I had seen them walking around school together holding hands. He probably wouldn't have known who I was if anyone mentioned my name but I knew him and was kind of in awe of the way she seemed so taken by him. This particular day, she was talking to him in the parking lot which was why she was so late getting on the bus. She walked down the aisle and seemed disappointed that the bus was so full but finally stopped right next to me and asked if she could sit down. I was sitting next to Kyle Flanders but happily scooted over to make room for her, not quite believing my good luck. She smiled at me and thanked me for making room while I tried not to turn crimson red from the fact that she was actually looking at me. I was a skinny, freckled, introverted with little to recommend me to females in general, and absolutely nothing to suggest that someone like Brenda would see me as anything but abstract humanity. Kyle was one of the first people off the bus so I made it a habit to sit with him as much as possible. We didn't talk much and I didn't know anything about him except that he stunk at basketball (from our PE class together) and was probably even more awkward than me socially. However, since he got off early I would have a free seat for most of the ride home and since the bus had no air conditioning this could be an important consideration in July in Middle Tennessee. On the particular day I was congratulating myself on my foresight and knew that she would sit next to me for quite a while before another seat came open. I was determined to make conversation with her but wasn't going to do it in front of Kyle. It would be embarrassing enough to make a fool out of myself, but it would be infinitely worse to have it etched in Kyle's memory as well. This gave me a little while to come up with a way to talk to her but my mind was spinning helplessly as we rode and I could think of nothing at all to say as we got nearer to Kyle's house. I had almost given up and decided I didn't have the guts to do it anyway when he got up to get off the bus. As he was getting up and we both had to get up to let him out, I noticed the book she was reading; "The Joy of Sex". I am sure I turned forty shades of red in as many seconds. Luckily, we were scrambling around for a minute getting reseated and I hoped she didn't notice my flushing face or the fact that I was quickly growing a full erection from the simple knowledge that she was curious about sex. It seemed too good to be true. I knew, or at least had read, that women were also interested in sex but had never considered that someone I actually knew might fit into both of those categories, much less someone who I was already hopelessly infatuated with. I knew then that I had to say something as such a chance would likely never come along in my life again. "I've read that book," I said. Now this wasn't exactly true as I had read some snippets of the book that I had snuck around and read after discovering it in the attic of a friend's house while we were getting Christmas decorations down. He didn't notice what it was and probably wouldn't have cared but I thought it was wonderful and fascinating at the same time. Brenda, who had already started reading again by the time I blurted my half-lie out tilted the book down and looked carefully at me. "Have you now?" she asked. I was suddenly terrified that she would grill me about the book and discover my half-truth so I interjected, "well..... I've read parts of it," and felt like the kind of idiot that only a 14 year old infatuated could be as I waited on her to tell me to mind my own business. "Do you like sex?" she asked. Of all the trillions of combinations of vowels and consonants her lips could have formed at the moment these were the last I would have listed as probabilities. They say that the natives that Columbus discovered were so dumbfounded by the appearance of a ship with men on it that they often simply refused to believe their eyes at first. I supposed at that moment that I must have drifted into a dream world without knowing it and stared dumb-founded at her for what seemed like a long time but probably wasn't. "Of course.... uh... I mean, I don't really know... but I am very interested in it," I managed to blurt out. "I mean... I've never had sex with you know... well... I mean with anyone else," I continued like a very large rock in free fall. I wanted to explain. I HAD to explain so I kept going, aware that I was not just crawling out on an unstable limb but throwing myself off of a cliff in the hopes that I might grab a twig on the way down strong enough to keep me from splattering my guts all over. Then she smiled. It was a warm, full smile and her eyes twinkled a little so that I suddenly knew she was actually interested in hearing what I had to say. "I.... uh.... read part of it when we found it in my friend's mom's attic." She continued to smile and I could see I had her full attention. It wasn't the kind of attention you might give a cave cricket that had just appeared from under the sink, it was willing, curious attention. "I'm interested in it too," she said; as if we really had something in common. By this time the shock was wearing off and I began to entertain the notion that this might be a very good day. "Maybe we can read it together," she said and kind of half-winked at me. By this time I was fully aroused physically and my brain seemed to have jumped into warp drive as I could suddenly see years into the future or at least see the possibility that we might actually have a conversation. She explained that she had always been interested in it but had come to be a little disappointed in it recently. ""I've had sex..... but it wasn't what I expected," she said as if my own embarrassing confession made it acceptable for us to compare notes. I don't know what happened on the way home that day to anyone else. My world condensed to the 3 foot area of our bus seat as we discussed the book and sex in general. The road could have opened up and swallowed the whole bus and I wouldn't have noticed. I was entranced. I hung on her every word, her every shared thought. It was intoxicating. We talked about everything from kissing, to erogenous zones, to orgasms. She said she could orgasm by herself but couldn't seem to with her boyfriend. I asked her why she couldn't just show him what she wanted and she smiled that wonderful smile at me again. "Maybe he doesn't want me to show him how," she said... and then... "I don't think he even knows I don't have an orgasm." "How could he not know that?" I asked. "Isn't that kind of the whole point?" I blurted out. She seemed to think that was very funny and laughed long and hard about it. Her laugh was delicious, like the first warm day of spring. "Maybe you should be my boyfriend," she laughed. She then looked serious for a second and said, "I'm not uh..." "Making fun?" I said. "No... I know what you mean. I mean, I'm a freshman and not a very good looking one at that.. I mean.. " as I awkwardly tried to let her know that I was not offended. I knew in the realm outside of our 3 foot square bus seat reality that such an idea was so ridiculous as to collapse of its own weight like a burned out star imploding under the load of its own mass. She was still smiling at me as I tried to let her know everything was fine between us, that my expectations didn't go in that direction at all. "You really are a nice guy," she said and stared at me long enough for me to know she meant what she was saying. We went back to discussing the book for a few minutes. She was fascinated with the idea that some people didn't think sex was important. It seemed to surprise her to learn that some couples never learned how to please each other. I was fascinated to find somewhat of a kindred spirit along those lines and explained that I thought it was one of the most important things of all; that it was maybe the best way for people to communicate in depth. This was a pretty advanced theory for someone who hadn't gotten close to an actual physical encounter with another human being but one that I had come up with from everything I could find to read on the subject. She listened quietly to my explanation, smiling at me the whole time. "Why haven't you had sex?" she asked. "Are you saving yourself?" with a little twinkle in her eye. I was a little confused by the question. It seemed ridiculous to me. "It takes two" I said. "I mean... uh... I haven't exactly had a lot of people trying to get me to participate," and tried to smile. How could I explain what seemed so self-evident to me. "Oh..." she said. "but you do... uh... masturbate?.. uh... you know," she asked and suddenly looked down at the crotch of my jeans. Honestly, I think if she had reached for me at that moment I would have exploded in my jeans. I was so aroused that I knew I wasn't going to last long with any sort of actual movement in that direction. I had my books in my lap so she couldn't see anything but just the glance in that direction was enough to almost set me off. "Uh... yes... " I said, not knowing what else to say. "Let me see," she said. "See what?" I asked, stalling and hoping at the same time. "You know.... I want to see if you are excited right now," she continued and glanced around the bus to see if anyone else might be looking our direction. It was loud on the bus and we were leaning fairly close as we talked in quiet tones. "Why?" I asked, again stalling and simply not knowing what else to say or do. "If you don't want to it's ok," she said and smiled again. "I... uh..... " I was trying to think of anything reasonable to say but failing miserably. "I ... uh.... sure.... you can see," I said finding my voice and hoping I didn't die in the next few seconds. I slid my books off to the side and scooted a little closer to her to make room for them in the seat. I knew I was so hard that I might explode at any moment, my cock running down the left leg of my jeans and I knew it would be obvious to her as soon as she looked but she was looking at my face and smiling as I moved the books. As she looked down after one last look around I tried to keep from getting any closer to the edge of an orgasm and watched her face. I must admit that this is always one of my favorite things, that first look that women have of my hard cock. Some women are quite open about it. Most women avoid doing it overtly and many will not look at all; as if it is of absolutely no consequence. I love women who do. I love women who look and touch, who are open enough about it to let me know it does matter. Brenda's face didn't betray a whole lot at first. She glanced down and smiled. As she smiled I felt my cock lurch a little in my pants. It wasn't totally involuntary but almost an unavoidable consequence of her attention. In truth I had discovered some time before that a quick squeeze of those muscles can hold off an orgasm, kind of a reflexive mimic of the orgasm itself that, because it is voluntary, can hold off the involuntary. She quickly looked up and said, "How did you do that? How did you make it move?" as if it was fascinating to her. "I uh.... just kind of squeeze everything together," I told her; unable to explain the connection between sphincter, cock and inner thigh muscles that mimic a full orgasm. "Do it again," she said, staring anxiously down at my crotch. I squeezed again and she giggled softly putting her hand over her mouth and looking at me with fascination. "That's amazing," she said. "I want to feel it do that," and she reached over to put her hand lightly on top of my cock. I made it twitch twice against her hand and she smiled even wider and looked back up at my face before staring around the bus again to make sure we weren't being watched. By this time we were getting close to her house. She put her hand back in her lap and smiled at me again. "Will you think about me tonight?" she asked with a big grin on her face. "Oh yeah," I said, knowing that I would think about her several times as I stroked myself to orgasm. It wasn't something I could keep from doing at this point as I was not only excited but had a person to focus on with a memory to go with it. This was a new experience for me in my masturbation experience and I knew it would be one that I would explore fully as soon as possible. "I'll think about you too...." she said as she started getting up. I wanted to tell her that it wasn't the same thing but then again, it suddenly dawned on me that maybe it was. Maybe she was going to do the same thing I was going to do when she got some privacy. This thought had me elated and a little confused as well. It's probably the only reason I was able to get off the bus without exploding even though I had to carry my books really low as it was to avoid embarrassment. The next day she wasn't on the bus in the morning. I was very disappointed but she sometimes didn't ride in the morning but almost always did in the afternoon. I was a little on edge the whole day. I kept wandering if maybe I had dreamed the whole thing but I knew I hadn't. I could think of her at any time that day and feel the first twinges of sexual arousal course through my body instantaneously. I would quickly turn the thought off before it got out of control but it was there just below the surface all day. When afternoon came and I got on the bus I was a little disappointed to see someone else in the seat beside Kyle but as I walked toward the back of the bus I saw Brenda sitting against the aisle in the next to last seat. She smiled when she saw me and immediately waved me back. "I saved you a seat," she said and stood up to let me have the window seat. I was floating on air by then and immediately felt my world shrink in around our little seat on the bus again. She was smiling broadly and looked like she knew something I didn't as I sat down. As the bus started rolling and lurching along she pulled a book out of her bag and handed it to me. It was a white covered book named "Everything you ever wanted to know about Sex." I smiled and looked back at her. "I've been reading this one too," she said. "I want us to read out of it today," she smiled and said with that same twinkle in her eye. "I marked the page." As I opened the book to the marked page I could see it was formatted as a question and answer book with letters written to the author which she then proceeded to answer one at a time. I got to the marked portion and started reading. "Out loud," she said. "Read it out loud." I was a little embarrassed but would probably have done anything she asked at that point. The letter was from a guy writing in that he knew he was soon going to have sex with his girlfriend but was a little scared about it because he had never done it before. As I read I glanced at her and saw her smiling anxiously as I read. "Just keep reading," she said. The guy writing the letter went on to explain that he was also nervous because he knew he was a little small in size, enough that he was obviously undersized against other guys he had seen. I was really getting red in the face as I continued to read but the author went on to explain that the main ingredient for good sex with a couple was both people wanting to make it good; that as long as he was attentive and considerate with his girlfriend nothing else would really matter as they could make it work out well. As I finished reading it and looked up at Brenda she was smiling widely at me. "That's you..." she said. "You will be really good at it because you are not self centered and you are curious about how to be good at it." "Oh.... I... uh... OK.... I see what you are saying," and smiled back at her. "I thought about you last night and went back and found that letter," she said. "I thought when I read it the first time that I wished Bruce was like that... but you are." I knew she was complimenting me and was very happy about it. "Oh yeah.... that's a nice thing to say," I said and smiled. She was looking hard at me than and started laughing out loud. She had a huge laugh, big enough to blot out the sun. "I just thought of something," she said. "You thought.... you thought I was talking about something else completely didn't you," as she leaned over close enough for me to smell the scent of fresh turned earth in spring. I started to deny it but she could see through me already. "I... uh... yeah I guess I was a little worried why that made you think of me." She was still giggling and covering her mouth with her hand like she was trying to hold the humor inside. "No.... " she said between breaths, "you certainly don't have to worry about that. As a matter of fact, I haven't really seen anything like you before," she said. I had a puzzled look on my face and asked her what she meant by that. "Well...." she said. "As long as you asked..... most of them that I have seen, and there haven't been that many" she said with a wink, "Most of them are much smaller than you." She had quit giggling now and looked really serious. "I even went through all my books after I got home just to see what is normal." "The average man, according to what I have read is around 5 1/2" when erect." she explained. "So... I got my mom's sewing tape and measured it against my hand." She was looking intently at me now. "I think you are closer to 8" from what I saw yesterday. But.... it also said most men are around 4" in circumference." she went on, looking around a little before leaning in close to continue, "I measured around my fingers and you are a lot bigger around than that". She continued, "I saw one as long as you once, or at least close to it, but he was nowhere near as big around as you are. And..." She went on, "I also read that the thicker a man is the more intense the orgasm is for the woman. If that is true.... you will make someone VERY happy I think". |
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