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POOR EMAIL & IM INTRODUCTIONS and why you should place effort in making them BETTER!  

Jchris2018 44M/38F
67 posts
3/5/2020 4:26 pm
POOR EMAIL & IM INTRODUCTIONS and why you should place effort in making them BETTER!


Lifestyle BLOG posting from a couple with a psychology degree in human behavioral studies and a former professional dating coach.


We have written our blog posts truly hoping to make this community a better place through teaching others how offer quality communication, interaction, and increasing the skills necessary to be successful.

A great way to have more success -TAILOR your message to what you have read in a couples’ profile and express the things that are important to them rather than pushing your own agenda when trying to make an IM or email connection to meet.

This is one of the worst missteps we see people make daily!

Here are three tips that may increase your chances of a reply to your first contact message:

1. some attention to what the recipient has said in their profile description to show that you have actually taken an interest in them. Don’t just send generic messages.

2. Don’t just make a statement in your message; ask a question. Asking a question allows someone to respond, which is more difficult with just a statement.

3. Be honest about yourself. We know that it is easy to establish a degree of rapport by saying you have similar interests to someone else or us, but there is really no point saying that you share something in common if this is not really an interest of yours.

4. A lower use of the personal pronoun I—we get I WANT , I NEED all long-Did you read to understand what we are looking for?
Most couples are NOT here to randomly fulfill the needs of men or other couples- Most have loving, secure, caring relationships with an open marriage in some way not just looking to fill sexual deviancy.

5. Find common ground or similar interests. This comes from ACTUALLY READING profile

6. Be literate Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs. Hey Wat up , you wanna meet tonight- up.. NO REPLY for obvious reasons

7. Bring up specific interests that match what you read-can be from pics, or profile- mention a great photo


Interesting story:
VAN HALEN & the Brown M&M’s:
Interesting story: VAN HALEN & BROWN M&M's Van Halen when doing concerts with promoters gave a 50 page stipulation of their rules and regulations.

Embedded inside the 50 page contract was the "MUNCHIE CLAUSE" which stipulated that the band wanted a bowl of M&M's in the rehearsal room with ALL BROWN M&M removed.

For decades this was considered frivolous usage of power and fame.
The band had a far more serious reason for this request as a "SCREENING METHOD" To ensure the promoter had read every single word in the contract, the band created the “no brown M&M's” clause.

It was a canary in a coalmine to indicate that the promoter may have not attention to other more important parts of the rider, and that there could be other significant safety or structural problems with the concert venue.
SO IF THE BAND SAW BROWN M&M's in the bowl they knew they had to check all safety aspects of the concert and may even cancel the event due to promoter negligence.

We have the SAME behavioral indicators inside our profile to see if prospective men have read our profile and shown minimal effort or modicum of interest in learning about us.

So we know right away if someone read anything or NOT.

OUR FIRST question will be: have you read our profile before you sent IM or Email message?

We can often tell when men send first message they may have NOT completely read it or looked at all.

We have one of the most detailed profiles on the site for good reason...to help communicate as best we can those that would be a good match to meet us--how to respond and even COLOR CODED for ease of use in reading and helping to make sure it is a match.

Here is the usual introduction we get from prospective men that would like to meet us:
: Hey!
Us: !
: How are you?
Us: Great, thank you.
: What are you into?
Us: Did you read our profile?
: Yes, I am interested
Us: What stuck your interest about what you read?
: You want men and pics are !!

NOT a great start here.

Just to set the stage we get 200 messages a month, so repeat the above literally thousands of times since we have been on this site, that’s over ,000 messages most of which made absolutely no effort to read anything we wrote.

It gets tedious , repetitive and frustrating when you have to repeat
EXACTLY what you have already written in the profile to help explain to men trying to meet.
It also takes HOURS to explain the same thing over that you can easily read in approx. 7 minutes since the average human reads a page of material in 2.5 minutes.

We have created a detailed profile that specifically explains what we for, best match, and asks some questions.

While EVERYONE tells us that they read profile, we know from the response and exchange that almost 99% never do.

How do we know?

PREFERENCE SECTION list # & #
) NO one liners, TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF, experience, etc. Have something to pique our interest, something beyond just SEX talk

) MAKE YOUR MESSAGE STAND in the "sea of mediocrity" that we usually get. Over 200 messages and a month-HOW does yours stand ?
Also listed in the profile If you are a match to the above preferences, please feel free to send a message with PICS OPEN.

TITLE should READ ""QUALITY CONNECTION" tells us you have read our entire message. She prefers men with attention to detail, why because we spend too much time with men that dont read first. (Mentioned in the preferences above.)

Men with attention to detail , made a small effort to read for a few minutes and offer an introduction that stands among the ’s of thousands of messages couples receive every year will do BETTER making a connection.


LOVE TO HEAR YOUR COMMENTS

Mdonson57 62M
504 posts
8/24/2020 9:59 am

Think I’ve been fairly consistent with reading a persons profile and responding with what they say in mind. Often times, if I know a meet is not likely due to age differences or distance, I’ll compliment the profile and pics. Some people put hours into their profile so I want them to know it’s noticed and appreciated.

MDonson
Kiik Myonguy


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