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AFF in a nutshell, take notes!
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AFF in a nutshell, take notes! Well I certainly hesitated to write this blog, but repeated advice has led me to do it. Please dont confuse what I say as arrogance as I know that I have have much to learn. If this blog identifies something you do that I dont agree with doing, oh well... it's just my opinion and advice... if it has been working for you, atta boy/girl. ... If you are still offended, go fuck yourself. (Just Kidding) Again, I wish to begin by stating these are JUST my opinions and I may be totally off base here... but it works for me and it is what I believe. I was asked to do this and declined on a few occasions but I am in a "writing mood" so here it goes: Getting the Most out of this Site. I admit this is a LONG post so here is a list of topics... Choose and roll what may be of interest. I will try to break this into sections so that it is an easier read. YOUR PROFILE: - Verbiage - Writing Like a Grown Up - Pics - Private Albums - Friends - Testimonials - Membership Status MEETING PEOPLE: - Emails - Where to go/do - Chat Room - M&G's - House Parties ETIQUETTE: - Mistakes - Big Mistakes - Dumb Asses - Respect - Humor - Friends MINDSET: - (MOST IMPORTANT so saved for last) Okay Sexy people, let's begin! PROFILE: VERBIAGE - I see so many profiles where the individual goes on and on about how hot and sexy and big and thick and everlasting and satisfying and mind blowing and cute and skilled and just the answer to SEX EVERLASTING. Dude, who the fuck cares? So many people are going to read your profile and think NOTHING of it as it gives information that is strictly YOUR opinion of yourself.. ie: You are full of yourself, you are lying or you have no personality. This attracts very few people and go ahead, check your messages (if you have any) and note that most of the messages you have are from people that you are not interested in meeting. This is because THESE are the people you attract with your self glorifying profile. Not trying to be aggressive here, just want you to get my point. BTW, most of the stuff I am saying is from experience so don't feel bad. lol So what should you write? That is up to you, BUT.. I suggest the following; Make sure that you do not compliment yourself. If you want to say that you are fit and muular... Try saying, " I enjoy spending time in the gym and tend to workout 4 times a week" ... people are smart enough to realize that you have a hot body without you saying, "Hey, look how hot I am" ... If you think you are funny, dont say it... say, "I enjoy making people laugh" ... Make sure that you spend your time writing a profile that explains WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR in as great of detail as possible. If you do this, you will accomplish a few things: 1. People will see that you have a personality. 2. You will separate your profile from all the other "blah blah's" out there. 3. You will get MORE messages and flirts because now the reader identifies that you are speaking about them! (imagine saying that you want a 5'2" - 5'6" Olive complexion, dark haired Woman with a pretty smile back at my smile, a love for Humor and enjoys sharing her thoughts in casual whispers over a dimly lit dinner and bottle of wine) .... Sound cheesey? You would be surprised to find more cute brunette lady's hitting you up solely because they now read your profile saying..."hmmm... I am that person". 4. If you state exactly what you are looking for, you will get so much more. I don't go to Nordstroms and ask the person to get me a shirt. I ask for a long sleeve, button up, shiney Blue shirt made of a cotton/rayon material (cause I look<b> </font></b>in that). lol And fill out your profile as completely and Hstly as you can... Remember that a lot of "PREFER NOT SAY"'s could equal a lot of "PREFER NOT TO MEET"s. HOW TO WRITE LIKE A GROWN UP: Remember to check your spelling and Grammar as well. We all make typos, so it's good to check, shows that we are not lazy or careless. While on that note: I quickly move past girls who "wRitE thEir pRoFilE iN tHiS FaShiOn wHeRe tHEy cApiTaLiZe liKe iDioTs" Please don't do that. It is ANNOYING as hell and it makes you look so immature. It may be cool on your Myspce page and how you sign your yearbooks... but if you want to sit at the grown up's table, act like you should. While on that topic, I don't recommend intentional extra letters or going far out of your way in an effort to type as cool as you type (love my sarcasm?) ... For example, "...want a girl tah' go to the movies with" ... It is easier to spell "to" as opposed to "tah'" .... if it's that important that you also "WRITE" ignorantly, well .... mission accomplished. I am not trying to take from your "individualism" ... but if you must buy in so much to what others do, how "individual" are you? Fuck it, do what you want, look ignorant, don't get emails and don't get laid. PICTURES- Guys!!! Read what most of the women are saying!! Stop putting up pictures of your fucking cock! GROSS. Seen , seen em all. They are not impressive. They are immediately disrespectful. They tell a girl that you lack class. They tell a girl that you are pretty much just like every else. They say you are a pervert (Look, I know this is a sex oriented site, but I will get to that in a moment, stay with me here). The following are pics that give the wrong impressions: 1. Cock pic: Okay if asked for, but dont open your profile with it. again, GROSS. 2. A close up on your damn eye. Dude, you may have nice eyes... but is that it? 3. A close up on just your boob. Usually means you are large. No offense (sorry) 4. A pic of JUST the female on your couple profile. Couples want to know what they're getting. Your girl may be hot, but if you want to avoid awkward moments, show both. Good Pics: 1. A face pic. SMILE! Peeps seem more attracted to smiles. Says a lot. (Yeah,I'm guilty) 2. A pic of you doing something. Not comfy with standing for a pic, it's okay. 3. Do an extreme close up. Remember most can only view a thumb nail. 4. Bods are great pics if you dont want to show face (understandable) 5. Post a PIC! 100 times more action with a pic. DONT HAVE TO SHOW FACE. PRIVATE ALBUMS- The need to show your "goods" will exist from time to time as some people WILL be interested once you have established that you are not a douche. You must continually look at this site as you would a bar. You go to a girl/guy and say, Hello, this is me. THEN, if things go well, you can show more later. You do NOT walk up to them with your dick hanging out and say, "Check this shit out!, Huh? Huh? ... like that shit??? " .... odds are, you will not be fucking this person later. The pics you use in this album are up to you and you should be able to put anything you want in there, as long as it's legal of course. Suggestion, Cock shots and boob/Cookie shots are so cliche and boring. If you are looking for some MMF action with a couple, know that it is usually (not always) the MR that reens prospects so I suggest you get his attention and take this opportunity to impress them by only using "Action" shots. If you are using action shots, DONT show the girls pic without consent!! Better stress that you use a condom!! If it's your wife, then point out that is why there is no Condom! This is NOT so that you can say you get chicks, but often I am asked to do what the Mr saw me do in my private pics. If you enjoy Rope , have a Swing, or just have a certain flare or style, include it. Take a pic of you pounding that ass with the hair wrapped in a 3 1/2 twist on your right hand and the left hand firmly on that ass guiding it back and forth. Or a pic of your manhood being held in place by a pretty set of hands... I have been corrected and told that Women may not want to see you with another girl in these pics... I respect that as I know it is true.... but with respect, you cant be everything to every.... To get the most out of this, attract those that fit what YOU want. I LOVE THAT THIS IS A TOPIC FOR DIUSSION Do NOT put pics of you stroking it... Thats just sad. FRIENDS- Make sure to add people to your friend/nerk list. This is not about "collecting" friends but keep in mind, you will get more exposure when peeps see your face on your friends profile AND it builds some type of trust that you may be an okay person. Create a Private Photo album with pics. A lot of people will not be in your Nerk and allow you to see their private pics if you dont have some to offer as well. TESTIMONIALS- Testimonials are the BEST way to establish yourself as a cool, sexy, amiable, respectful person. People do read these and the credibility is overwhelming. Major Win. 1. Dont write a testimonial about some you dont know. You look desperate. 2. Dont post a testimonial from some you dont know. You look like an attention . 3. Dont say that you fucked the person in the testimonial. People want diretion. 4. Try to write for every you know. You will sleep well knowing that you let them know they are important AND people will see you more. 5. It is okay for a dude to write that you are a cool dude and a friend. NOT GAY. Dont worry. 6. Only put testimonials and accept testimonials on/from those that you are willing to be associated. If a dude is a well known Asshole... why say "Hey, look who I'm with" ? MEMBERSHIP STATUS- Gold Balls are far better than Blue Balls. Get a gold membership so others can view you and so you can conduct searches to your liking. Sucks to not be able to use the site to its fullest. Trust me. MEETING PEOPLE: EMAILS- Yes, send emails you idiot. Conduct a search for ONLY what you are interested in. In the email, EMAIL DON'T: 1. Say, "You're Hot, wanna fuck?" ... dude, how old are you? LOL 2. Attach a pic of your cock. 3. Copy and paste what you sent to the last girl/guy. 4. Talk about what you want to do to them. 5. Ask them to hook up. (ease into it, show that you have class and style) 6. Never ask to meet on your first email. Shows lack of tact. EMAIL DO- 1. Tell them why you choose them to email. 2. Refer to something in their profile to establish sincerity. 3. Tell them what you like about their profile (Try not to make it just their Body) 4. Add HUMOR if you can! EVERY loves a sense of humor. Shows intelligence. 5. You can say that you did a search on what you are looking for and they appeared. 6. Tell them that you would be interested in learning more about them. 7. Respond quickly. Sparks burn out fast with moods. 8. Set your account to text your ph when you get a message. WHERE TO GO/DO- Once some shows interest in your email and you have exchanged a couple messages and want to suggest meeting, where do you go? You can refer to what they wrote in the email as well as their profile to figure out what a win would be. If you suggest they just come to your place... you have a 50/50 shot of losing their attention... yet, there is a SMALL chance they'd come. I recommend that you suggest a place that is public and tell them that you are only suggesting that because you want them to be comfortable meeting you. They will respect that. If they say they ARE comfortable with you, then you might suggest something a little more bold... BUT make sure you tell them that you are aware of the boldness so they dont think you are a jerk. I often suggest at a coffee house but I do admit it is so cliche. Think of something more creative than me. PLEASE. LOL Also, it is not a bad idea to suggest a place close to your house so that in the event that sex is in the air, you are prepared. DO NOT suggest meeting at a hotel lobby. They will immediately think you are married and a douche. CHAT ROOM- The best way to meet a lot of people online is via a chat room in your area. If you are confident in your personality and can spell, you will find that hanging in a chat room and just having fun is the best way to get people familiar and COMFORTABLE with you. Dont go into the chat room expecting some to fuck you tonight. I see that EVERY DAMN DAY. You guys are terrible. These are also the same guys that complain that they get no action. If you are going to cam... Stop asking the room if your cam is working in order for some to look... That makes you look perverted, pathetic and is a cry for attention that nobody respects. Again, treat the chat room like a bar, coffee house, or whatever... TALK to people like they are people... flirting will happen and then who knows what. Just know that every sees you and what you say. If you want to hit on some... go ahead.. respectfully... BUT... if you hit on every person that comes in the room, you will loose credibility. I also see couples or girls say, "Who wants to come over and tonight" and then see guys clamor to it... DUDE.... You just told the room that you will fuck ANYTHING. Show some decorum, self respect and that you are selective in where you sleep. If you are cool, respectful and consistent in the Chat room, people will get to know you, trust you, recommend you and LIKE you. CHAT ROOM DON'TS" 1. Dont offer to pound somes shitter! (seen it typed) 2. Dont belittle people. 3. Dont type in all CAPS. 4. Dont talk about other people. 5. Dont get caught up in Drama. 6. Dont be a dick. 7. Dont ask to hook up tonight. CHAT ROOM DO'S 1. Say HELLO to every. 2. Type smileys. 3. Make fun jokes (not at the expense of others) 4. Refer to peoples profiles and point out good things about them publicly. 5. READ their profiles! People are so complimented by that. 6. Make friends. 7. Ask people to meet you back in the room. It's safe, shows you have respect. 8. Be consistent in there. Creates relationships and clues you in on events happening. M&G's (Meet and Greets)- Just about all areas have regular M&G's. This is a Party where people get together like any other social forum. Do not go there expecting to get laid... they are not orgies. M&G's are the absolute best way to meet people in this lifestyle. A great thing about the M&G's (especially for girls or couples) is that you can go there, meet people and leave without the awkwardness. Often when a couple meets, they find that the other couple is not exactly "their cup of tea" but now they are STUCK there trying to figure out the most polite and respectful way OUT! A M&G gives an opportunity to meet them and THEN decide whether they are of interest. I confess that I have g to M&G's that later resulted in sex the same night but NEVER went there expecting that to happen. Again, It is just like any bar... you meet people, you MIGHT have sex... you MIGHT not. If you go expecting to get laid, you probably wont. To find out where the next M&G is, go into the local chat room and politely say, "Hello Room, I am kinda new in here and I would be interested in information on the next M&G" ... There will always be friendly people to assist you with the info. At the M&G's... dont get too drunk and make an ass out of yourself. Please be respectful and DO NOT TOUCH!!!!! You will likely be asked not to ever come back. HOUSE PARTIES- M&G's can often result in "House Parties" ... House parties are where it's at Baby. Be prepared though, Some house parties are just all out orgies (Again, ASK BEFORE YOU TOUCH!) while other house parties operate just like a typical M&G but happens in another area of the house. ... OR... the House Party is exactly that... Just a Party. Dont act like a fool at these. If you are fortunate enough to get invited to these, know that they are always on the DL and you should not be telling any about it! These are usually a limited guest list that was carefully selected. Nobody wants to hurt the feelings of others... AND, don't invite any without going through the host! Nobody wants a complete stranger in their house for such an intimate gathering! ... Come on people! Respect their house and their families. ETIQUETTE: There is an etiquette to this lifestyle. Most of it is common sense if you have any manners at all. You MUST establish yourself as a mature person (intellectually) with respect for relationships and other people. I see so many guys say, "Well, this is a sex site, isnt it?" .... Dude, NO, THIS IS NOT A SEX SITE. THIS IS WHY YOU DONT GET LAID. This is a site that is a FORUM for like minded individuals to find each other. You will never eape the world of decency, respect and manners. If you want to be successful on this site, you must approach it in a manner that MOST of the people here love sex. They wish to enhance, explore, fantasize and sometimes with those that may be a piece of what they are looking for. It is your job to find out what YOU want out of this and then explore where you fit in other peoples fantasies. You are rarely going to find a profile that says, "Hey guys, I am a hot female that will fuck anybody or anything that has a cock" ... If you want this to work for you, find where your "niche" is in fulfilling some elses needs and you will find yourself with a full appointment book. Dont say you are selective, BE SELECTIVE. FriendFinder-x Etiquette is simple... be a nice sexy person and you will find nice sexy people. Mistakes - People that dont take care of their shit. Bring your game. SHAVE, TRIM, GROOM, WASH, DEODORIZE, BRUSH, DRESS APPROPRIATELY. Big Mistakes - Dont touch before asking! Dumb Asses - Dont say stupid shit like "Who wants their ass pounded?" Respect - Talk to peeps like they are some... not something. Humor - Make jokes. Make em smile. Women are turned on by Humor. Friends - Make em, respect em, keep em. MAJOR FUCK UPS - Guys and Gals... this has surprised me as I have seen/heard of GUYS more guilty of this than others.... RESPECT that the other person in the couple that you just ed with is WITH that other person!! OMG, do NOT try to establish a "Connection" with some else's GF/BF or Spouse!!! Or... if you find yourself getting jealous that they may be ing with others.... ummm, They are NOT YOURS to worry about! What the hell is wrong with you?!!??? If you think you "felt a connection" with that person.... you are wrong and should merely chalk it up to an awesome time!!!! Couples are not on this site to find a better lover/mate. The real couples in this lifestyle are here to enhance and explore the wonderful thing they ALREADY have without your psycho ass fucking it up by thinking that because they kissed you, sucked you, fucked you; they want YOU now. Hstly, if you are feeling emotionally attached after or meetings, you are probably very new to this lifestyle and may have your heart too closely attached to your genitals. I don't say this last line as an insult, but you are not ready for this lifestyle as much as you may think you are and God Bless you for caring about some.... but don't get attached to some else's some! You are the drama that NOBODY wants and regrets ever ing with you. You are the guy/girl that is the reason for such rutiny on this site and once again.... you keep me from getting laid! Don't do that... I like getting laid... it's nice. MINDSET: OMG... this frustrates the hell out of me. Where do I begin? ?????? I will start with the dudes - GUYS- approach this as a bar ene. These are real ladies and they are going to react to you the same way as they would in public. The good news is that you found a "Virtual Bar" when the women tend to be more open to sex. Respect is not to be forgotten (Notice how many times I bring up this word RESPECT, that should tell you something dickhead). Dont turn into a STALKER! So many guys in here tend to become possessive with a girl... DONT! Some guys aren't stalkers, but they do get attached and want more, this is understandable to feel some attachment if you meet some that you like, you are still human. But did you come here looking for LOVE??? In the event that you do form a bond of some type, remember where you found them. Dont hold it against them later! .... and if you are going to with couples, please read the section above titled, "Major Fuck Ups". GIRLS - God love you, dont get attached. You met us on a sex site ladies. If you are looking for love, please go to the more "Harmous Sites" to find that. I see so much drama because a girl diovers that the dude was ing with some else or flirting with some else. Ladies, please read our profiles, listen to what we say... odds are that we are not looking for LOVE... especially in here. I'm sorry, but that is reality. I love a big heart in a woman, I respect that, I WILL seek that when I am ready... but for here, for now... this is me. .... and if you are going to with couples, please read the section above titled, "Major Fuck Ups". COUPLES - Wow, you are the most intricate... If you are a couple, try to present yourselves as that. Please dont be the guy that pushes his hot girlfriend out as bait in order to get himself laid. Granted, there are MANY/MOST couples out there only seeking a girl, that is totally cool. But if you are seeking another couple, bring your full package. You have to approach this with the mindset that you are going to be ing with others and you must be able to picture your other half riding another person and LOVING it. If that bothers you, then you may want to slow down and talk a little. It is a shame to see great couples break up over this. I have been involved in a number of MMF's, FFM's, MFMFMFMFFFMM's, etc... and in EVERY of them, I must share that it is very important that the male half and I talk first. I need to know that he is cool with it. I need to know what he wants to see her do and what he does NOT want to have happen. OF COURSE the lady is the final say on EVERYTHING, that goes without saying, but it is important that guidelines and expectations are set in advance. My advice to Couples is to always have a CODE... I have seen/heard of couples ing where of them did NOT want to go through with it, but was pressured to do so while their mate had NO IDEA that they felt such pressure and this turns into a big problem once they get home. ie: Man says, "I thought you were cool with it and wanted to" ... Gal says, "NO. But I couldnt say anything, I was in an awkward position". ... Wow! Talk about guilt and possibly killing further dates! USE A CODE. A good code is: "Hy, can you get me some water with no ice?" ( I used this with my mate). The code was if she ever said "NO ICE", it meant she was not game and I would therefore make sure that was not on the menu. This avoided me making her look like the party pooper... and kept our always fun. Also, this is just me.... I don't believe in "Taking for the Team". Those come back to haunt you... You take , You'll owe . .... and if you are going to with couples, please read the section above titled, "Major Fuck Ups". LOL, I can't stress that enough. BLOOMING RELATIONSHIPS- Yes, Yes, Yes... I know that some great couples have evolved from meeting on this site... I know many personally and that is so awesome. It does happen... but like any relationship, it happens naturally. Those people are extremely fortunate to find each other and I wish them the best. I really hope that reading this was not a waste of time. As Always, I appreciate and want your comments/feedback. Erban |
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5/24/2018 10:12 am |
Wow~! Good advice ! Jimmy B. My blog JimmyB7474 is called Into The Woods (erotica) entertaining stories about a guy named Jimmy. Enjoy.
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Interesting points. You've done some research! I'd like to say that I had implemented all your advice but I hadn't read it prior to setting myself up here. Feel free to follow my blog. You might be entertained. Best of luck! ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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I have always found it better to get one's own definition of this site before moving forward.Great post for the common sense deficient and all that put the prize before the person. Using more than all the road!
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5/25/2018 11:33 am |
Perfectly executed! This is written out wonderfully! This blog should be every user's Bible in following basic criteria and protocol. I find it truly amazing how much of this same stuff I see wrong with nearly every member whose profile I look at. I can just pick it apart with dozens of flaws of all sorts, yet these same people desperately wonder why they find no success here at all. It's laughable, at best. At worst, it's sad to see how terrible ignorant, vague and dumbed-down our society has become. I foresee a grim future ahead of us.
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hello thank you for your visit please send me a friendship invitation hi good girl sexy good body and excellent
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