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Blogs > Platosgames > Beginning Again

Nature vs Nurture  

Platosgames 102M
2246 posts
8/30/2018 1:31 pm
Nature vs Nurture

Most of the time, blog ideas just come popping out of that rarely idle madhouse that I call a brain. Sometimes though, reading through the blogs will spring an idea. This post is from the later. It's more about multiple posts, about different outcomes, that I wonder at times aren't all related. Can a lot of them all be tied to how we interact? And is how we interact based on how we were raised, our base personality or just influences over time. Does this influence how we speak/interact with the opposite sex?

Some background about me, because without a doubt, I know me better than I know any of you. My two biggest influences on how I interact with people.

I was raised by a Dad who was a drill Sergeant. (yeah that was fun) He raised us to be the toughest on the block. There was no weakness allowed. That said, he also taught us to always be respectful. Especially when talking with women. Though they found they didn't love each other, later in life, I never once heard my dad talk to my mom with anything other than respect.

My grandfather was an school country boy. Bear of a guy. He was known for doing, strength tricks in the country bar we'd all go to. Yeah they let us in too. Everyone had a healthy respect for the guy. Yet, I never once saw him throw his weight around. Always friendly and respectful to everyone.

This is how I was raised to act, and I'd also say it's just within my nature.

So to apply this to those age FriendFinder-x questions and posts. My questions and my responses to those questions.

Question: When you can easily look around and see women just aren't impressed with the one line message, "Hey saw your profile, wanna fuck?". Does anyone actually believe this is the best approach to meeting new partners?

Me: I have pretty good luck with a respectful approach up front. I find there's plenty of time for some dirty talk later in the relationship. Mainly, because we actually met instead of my message just hitting the trash pile.

Question: The never gets bad boy question. Do you have to be a jerk to pick up women, cause all the women are attracted to bad boys?

Me: I've been and maybe still to a point, a wild . That said, I can't say I've ever had a lady tell me they weren't interested because I was too respectful. There's always a place for a little of the "bad boy" in bed, just not in the same meaning it seems to be associated with.

Question: Does being respectful make you weak?

Me: See above reference to the two guys who shaped me into who I am.

Lastly, and probably the main question, is it a Nature vs Nurture thing? Do people act this way because that's just the way they were raised. Is it because it's just their personality type. Did experiences in their life, or just their experience on sites like this, influence their behavior?

I always try to be respectful, and yeah at times I fail. Rude people can make me forget who I am at times.
" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
8/30/2018 1:33 pm

 For the record, this isn't just directed at guys and I've seen lots of guys on this blog that seem very respectful. So it's not a blanket statement in any means.

Carry on.
" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


littlebbwfairy44 49F

8/30/2018 2:08 pm

 The Nature vs Nurture question been floating around for a few years , it can easily apply to animals , humans, plants. There is factors that can more or less push for the one or other depending on how strong the factors are and or how strong the opposing sides are


Platosgames replies on 8/30/2018 2:14 pm:
Yeah it's been around for quite a few years. In regards to the lack of respect though, I just wonder what percentage is which. I'm sure there are some that act the way they do because that's how they were raised. Nurtured.

And some who just have it in their personality, Nature. They just don't know no betters.

redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
8/30/2018 2:23 pm

 The Nature vs Nurture thing? I think it is a combination of both with some experience(s) thrown in.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
8/30/2018 2:32 pm
    Quoting redrockrascal:
    The Nature vs Nurture thing? I think it is a combination of both with some experience(s) thrown in.
I tend to lean in that direction as well. Though I do have a friend I've known since high school. His parents used to just get rude as hell to each other in front of us. My friend was always sort of like that. He's married now and to be honest, I can only take small doses of being around them, because he's just an ass to his wife.
" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


pocogato12 71F  
37235 posts
8/30/2018 3:18 pm

 I have to dis-associate myself from rude, disrespectful people. You should treat men, women, children and pets as you want to be treated.
If you were raised/nurtured to be rude and you LIKE getting it in spades, well I think you might do the same. However, there is always the positive side that when that arena of your life went by ,you discovered how good it feels to have respect and manners shown to you as a person and thus, you will become the same kind of human
Some reform is self-induced
(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


Platosgames replies on 8/30/2018 3:51 pm:
I absolutely agree with that. And you put it a lot more elegantly than I could have. Thank you.

positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
8/30/2018 3:20 pm

 I wonder if the boorish behavior here is because it is a “sex site”. Men want a woman who is hot in bed, yet, it seems with some, he can treat her as less than a lady because she expresses her sensuality. Because she is sexual, he feels he can talk down and dirty to her. I love dirty talk but not with a keyboard with a stranger. There are some really nice men here. Just as in life mostly, the dicks, pardon the pun, get the attention for being a dick. The truly nice ones get passed over.


Platosgames replies on 8/30/2018 3:55 pm:
Yeah I think some of the guys on here associate a woman interested in sex as someone less than respectable. If they only could figure out that most women enjoy sex as much as most men. Just because they express the desire on here, doesn't mean you have to treat them as any less a lady.

I would say that a lot of the "dicks" on here get attention, it's not always good attention.

Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
8/30/2018 3:43 pm

 Question: When you can easily look around and see women just aren't impressed with the one line message, "Hey saw your profile, wanna fuck?". Does anyone actually believe this is the best approach to meeting new partners?
Oh hell NO I don't believe its the best way to approach someone, as I think you know from my blog the other day..

Question: The never gets bad boy question. Do you have to be a jerk to pick up women, cause all the women are attracted to bad boys?

Well I can't speak for the other ladies here on the site, but I like a bad boy gentleman if that makes sense.. And I know it sounds oxymoron, but it isn't he's a good hearted man that's got a bad side and to me that's so sexy..

Question: Does being respectful make you weak?

Absolutely NOT it's doesn't make you weak in fact I think it only makes you stronger, and sounds like you had a great dad by the way, and I am thankful for his service as I am a proud army mom..

Lastly, and probably the main question, is it a Nature vs Nurture thing? Do people act this way because that's just the way they were raised. Is it because it's just their personality type. Did experiences in their life, or just their experience on sites like this, influence their behavior?

Good question as I think your up bringing plays a huge part of who you are, as in respecting your elders, and treat everyone the way you wish to be treated, as my grandparents were the biggest influences in my life and they were old school..
Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


Platosgames replies on 8/30/2018 4:01 pm:
After reading your posts in previous blogs, yeah I'd say were usually on the same page. As for the bad boy thing, I still laugh when that one comes up and agree with your answer. In my experience, your description is exactly what I found with the women I have dated.

As for the dad, yeah he was a tough bastard, hated him at times when I was a kid. Then I grew up and understood him, loved him for all he was and did for me.

While I believe life experiences can affect who you are, but in this instance I think most of mine is how I was raised. When I was at my most wild, I was still respectful. haha or tried to be. I still don't like to follow rules, probably never will. But I can do that and still not be an ass. Maybe it's just me.

Platosgames replies on 8/30/2018 4:06 pm:
Meant to add. Grats on being the proud mom of a soldier. It's a can be a sacrifice for both of you.

yesmamallthetime 56F  
11278 posts
8/30/2018 3:57 pm

 My father was very much a gentleman. My mother was a rather quiet person. She really lived by the saying... If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all LOL. I am a mix. I like to talk and strike up conversations wherever I go. That was my father's affability. I dislike gossip. I think it is a bad habit. My mother disliked it to be sure. It's the height of pettiness. I tried to discourage that in people. However sometimes I get dragged into it and then I feel yucky. 🙁
Independently Romantic Sounds Better Than Lonely


Platosgames replies on 8/30/2018 4:09 pm:
I think the say nothing if you have nothing nice to say is a great adage. I try to abide by that, but to be honest at times I fail miserably. If I'm around someone that's being rude or obnoxious, I can rarely not respond. Though I try to do it in a manner that makes them think, "wait, did he just insult me?"

Naughtypursuit 56F  
2766 posts
8/30/2018 4:44 pm

 Until my daughter was born I was always of the belief that we are a product of our upbringing. From when my daughter was still an infant her personality shone through. It was an education to me in nature vs nuture.

I think in general, thanks to the world wide web and the opportunity to be somewhat anonymous people forget their manners on sites such as these.

I have always been of the belief that you catch more flies with honey.


Platosgames replies on 8/30/2018 5:03 pm:
On your first part I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not? My apologies if I'm just being dense. it happens.

I think more and more you're right on the web take. People say things on the internet that, most of them, would never say to someone face to face. Impossible to prove without meeting all of you, but I am pretty much the same in real life as I am on here. For me it's just too much work to have to put on a ruse.

redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
8/30/2018 5:51 pm
    Quoting  :
I read your mind until I heard . . . "Clean up on aisle 5 please".
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
8/30/2018 6:57 pm

 Quoting BiggLala:Stop taking my answers, you!!!
Ahem...was that rude? I meant, I agree with what Red said.

redrockrascal: I read your mind until I heard . . . "Clean up on aisle 5 please".

Ok you two, stop hijacking my post. You never see me hijacking posts......oh wait....never mind. Carry on.
" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
8/30/2018 7:57 pm
    Quoting Heathen_G:
    Okay, then you are saying if the person is a woman, she gets respect , no matter what?

    That's weak. Women will take advantage of you.
No see, this is where you either aren't paying attention, you're not reading my post, (just thinking how you can disagree with something,), or you're just trolling.

I'm saying everyone gets respect. Men, women, dogs , cats.. you name it. Until they blow that chance, and start acting rude. Or just being obtuse. Sorta like you're doing now.
" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


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