Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > RI_NakedBarber > My Blog |
Men who want to date men for LTR
|
Men who want to date men for LTR I'm middle aged now, I'll be 50 on May 7. It's been nearly 5 years now since I lost my better half, we met when I was 28 and actively dating then. Boy times have changed the social scene. I'm a fish out of water but I'm learning the new nuances and so far it's disappointing. I mean, I am meeting guys who are so great, such great material for LTR. I have really connected with a few guys. I've even played with some of them, but for them, the act of actually falling in love with a man is just too much to accept. Yet the sex is not. They want that. I crave those moments of just laying together and being buddies. I love buddy relationships, it's easy. There are no mind games involved for the most part, and if there are I can read that almost immediately. I see it coming and end that shit right away. Men are easier to read than women, which is why men like being with men. It's just easier to understand we are on the same wave. We get each other and at the same time we can be good buddies and great<b> lovers </font></b>for each other. A bond is amazing. For me, women are too caught up in trying to read too much into things that aren't even there. They tend to create shit that does not exist. But like I said, even if men try that, they're still easier to read, thus, easier to detect and walk away. I've been allowing myself to be used sexually, and in a empty way. I want connection with a man so I go so far as to give my body and my cock and my ass to a guy who wants it just so I can have the company of a man. Sure I want to have sex but I'm finding what I want more is the just the connection, so fuck it, I'll have sex if that's what it takes. He gets rewarded and I get somewhat of a reward but for me it's not enough. I still left feeling empty after. Where is the cuddling, where is the laying together and rubbing each other, where is the making out and laughing at how ridiculous we are. Where is the bonding on a deeper level. It just isn't available. So why ? Guys feel so stigmatized by labels. But labels are put on you by society, and if you accept them, then you fall into a trap. You allow yourself to forego so much pleasure merely because someone may put a label on you. I guess I've lived my life as a brave and courageous man, because no matter the label you choose for me, it's still my choice to accept that. Most often I don't. I'm more complex than some easy label others want to attach to me just to help them understand something that has zero meaning to me in the first place. It's not in my head but instead it's in theirs. Finding a guy who can see things like that is a huge challenge. I'm not unique or better than, by any stretch of your imagination, but I have accepted the fact that I am going to do what feels right for me regardless of how you label that. I can not be the only one who thinks likes this. So I try. I keep putting myself out there, openly, honestly and forthright. I realize I may appear to be desperate, I'm not. Far from it. But I am open and honest about what I want. I'm open and honest about how awkward I feel sometimes, because I want the other guy to understand that I'm a fish out of water when it comes to dating. I mean, I met my husband at 28 years old. I was dating then, and boy have times changed since then. I don't know how to date in today's world. All I do know is to be honest and open as I possibly can be no matter how I may appear at first. Maybe that's my problem. I'm still learning that. I don't know. I just wish guys would care less about what other people think, their friends, their family, their coworkers, their whatever. Because I don't care what other people think of me. I figure if you tell me you know me and love me, then whatever I do is of no concern because you know me and love me. I don't have fears of judgement from you. It's when I allow those fears to enter into my mind, I begin to design my life for them in order to keep them in my life. Is that fulfilling ? Not for me. Because I want genuine people in my life who love me for me and not love me because of what I do or who I have sex with or who I love, that is simply no one's business by my own. Shouldn't it just be this way for everyone ?? I will never allow what anyone thinks of me to dictate my happiness. If I'm happy doing whatever you should be happy for me and if you're judging me for it, no matter who you are, brother, sister, friend or whoever, then good bye. See you in the next lifetime. Sure, I'm no longer in touch with a few people in my life who just couldn't get over what I do in my own time or who I love. We can all agree to saying fuck off in that case but put that to the test in your own life. Can you be so honest with yourself ? It's hard, I admit. But in the end I'm true to myself and I will meet my next partner. I was married to a man for nearly years who got all of this. He understood me as I understood him. We were in deep love for every day we were together. We did what we wanted without fear of being judged. Sure there were moments of misunderstanding but we both wanted to understand and eventually we did, which is why we were so close. I will find another who can deal, I will. And I will continue to feed my sexual needs in the meantime, but I'm always open and willing to get things going in a more LTR track. |
|||
4/4/2019 1:41 am |
Dave, I like what you have written. I hate being put into a box by people who don't understand me. The stereotypes that people think I fit. I don't. I am, like you, unique. I do understand that buddies can be more understanding, almost without saying anything. You'd think I would have learned all that at an early age, but no, married twice. That was partly so that I could conform. My days of conformity have just died with my late wife. No more. Of course I loved her, but as a friend. The physical ceased pretty soon after we met and her lack of concern for my needs was a problem. As for the future, I just don't know where I'll go and what I'll do. I'm financially fairly secure, and supplement my income by driving Uber. I do know there's nothing holding me in New York, and the tax burden is a strong incentive to go elsewhere. I do love the water, boating. So wherever I go I'm sure I'll find something. My other pasttime, which I take very seriously, is music. I'm a bass in the Buffalo Philharmonic Chorus. It's very satisfying to be involved in world class music again. We are recording a new major work next week. But there's good music everywhere. Another plan I have is to have a therapy dog and visit hospitals etc. The puppy is reserved and I'll get her after Easter. Thank you for a well thought out blog. We men don't often wear our hearts on our sleeves, but you did.
| ||
4/19/2019 8:17 am |
OH I'm not using this as the only place to meet guys...lol
|
Become a member to create a blog
