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Need a Mr. Yuck sticker for this one
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Need a Mr. Yuck sticker for this one I will admit sometimes a girl asks to get her feelings hurt by soliciting attention from a man when he is not the 1st to initiate the contact. So. Today I say "enough." He calls me 2, 3, 4 AM. Makes plans to be by. "See U in an hour" and so on. And I wake up in the morning and the 1st thing I recognize is feeling let down. Not a good way to start multiple days. I am strong. I shake a lot off. I had even mentioned keeping my expectations extremely low for his sake. Had not wanted to lose the whole being for a small part - sex - that didn't work out. He thanked me and then proceeded to push the envelope of " how low will U go? " I get a call this morning. Some awful hour that I did not chose to know. " I am going to come see you instead of being with 'baby's mama.' I want to be with U - instead of her - after talking to U. " I am not initiating this. I am up late getting fixed up for a guy from the site - who made plans and didn't show. Not looking for anyone to run into each other. And I don't do back-to-back sex. I know there's a . I know she's 5. So. Having relations with 'baby's mama' - when the baby is 5 years old - is an on-going mission. And I wake up disappointed. I already had a weekend of pretend holiday cheer with fake friends that left me wondering if I have somehow restructured my "fuck me" DNA and have turned it into a sign on my back. I have not stopped soon enough to keep him from getting on my fake friend list and quickly moving to the top of my " small, ugly person " list. He asked me to research the names for Satan. I found a few. The one that struck me was "Abaddon." It literally means "destruction." Well played - my non person. Do not just wreck another persons psyche - if they are clueless - go for destroy. You came to me as a man that had just gotten out of jail and wanted to<b> get laid. </font></b>I ended up in the ER on the 3rd of July. 13 hours in a waiting room. Missed the 4th of July fireworks - my favorite holiday - by the way - because I could not get meds filled. And I still said " please sir - can I have another?" This morning - I did not feel disappointment. I felt more of a release. I am not a fan of peoples who have a relationship to tend to trying to stretch the boundaries. If U are already neglecting a relationship to reach out for another person - that person at the end of the weak chain can expect little and/or no tending. If U stay there - more power to you. Stop the ride here. I'll get out and walk. I know it is still a ways to get back - but I have been here before. The walk will do me good. Clear my head.  |
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When you meet a dark soul -
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To be honest, you have a vey wierd profile and this is a very off-beat blog. At your age, you know that any number of men are happy to have sex with you, particularly if you don't care if they hurt you (emotionally). You should also know that there are many decent men out there who'd treat you with respect and actually want to ensure your sexual satisfaction. Why then, unless it is a figment of your imagination, would you have any interest in being with this guy?
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This is written as stream of consciousness , as if the outline for more thoughts. Or....written by someone who doesnt choose wisely and is on the train of continual hurt. I sense that you need to pause and take inventory of where ya been and where u d like to go....and map out the road to get there. In order to have something different one must do something different. You can keep doing the same things with the expectations of different results. Thats exhausting!! Or perhaps you have put in an order for more Mr Yuck stickers ?
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Hey, whatever blows your skirt up! Using more than all the road!
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