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Do only bad men get replies on this site?
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Do only bad men get replies on this site? I joined this site to<b> meet a woman </font></b>I can enjoy discreet, NSA encounters with. I do not display explicit photos of myself, and do not assert my desires using filthy and explicit language. I don't have elevated expectations - I am 52 - but I have not received any interest at all from any female members, despite having contacted quite a few, mostly close to my own age. I have only received a string of flirts from fake profiles who show young attractive American women, but who are clearly African scammers. Do I need to post an obscene photo, work out obsessively in the gym, and use boastful crass language about my libedo if I am to stand any chance of being contacted by any genuine women here?? Does anyone else have any similar experiences to share? |
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11/11/2018 10:29 am |
I was hoping to spread the topic to - and get feedback from - a wider audience than just one, although it is of value to me to hear you say that most men on this site share the same experience as me. Do you get this from other blogs you've read from many other male members feeling hurt and cheated? As I clearly stated, no I did NOT expect to be inundated, but equally did not expect to be totally ignored either - especially since I've focused on the women closest to my own age. Regarding those members I've suggested belong in Broadmoor, this is a reference to female profiles I've seen that are unnecessarily explicit, and which use unnecessarily crass and ugly language that could only appeal to fairly horrible kinds of men. Not to mention the deviant desires that many of them display. I have also had the misfortune of glimpsing some male profile photos linked as fans or friends to the females I've explored. If I were to become inclined to post such photos, I could hardly complain if others were to react in horror at my state of mind. You state that few women are interested in men like me, let alone for NSA. What other kind of relationship should I be seeking that would increase my chances on a site like this - if not NSA?? This site makes at least half its money by selling men the hope of personal joy that would otherwise be beyond their reach. Why should they suffer in silence when this joy is denied them?
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11/11/2018 4:18 pm |
Why is it assumed that if a man seeks someone but is unable to commit to a formal relationship, then it must follow that he is concerned only with his own immediate gratification at her expense? Why do female members buy membership of sites like this in the first place unless they stand to gain mutual gratification from such NSA encounters? I am assuming female members pay the same membership rates as men? Given the number of women who display pornographic images of themselves - which I would not ask or expect of them - is it really demeaning to them to be contacted by men hoping for the very experiences with which the site tempted them to buy membership? How can someone's conduct here NOT be a reflection on their character? A scumbag is as a scumbag does. And no, I do not expect women I meet in everyday situations to yield to me for sex. That's becase I have grown accustomed to everyday situations presenting me with nothing but cold, unapproachable women who clearly seek to be physically attractive to men, but whose body language and avoidance of eye contact conveys only contempt for those whose heads they turn. For arrogant, manipulative men who form part of the shallow trendy mainstream, this barrier does not seem to exist. THAT is the very reason I felt the need to resort to joining this site in the first place!!
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11/12/2018 5:18 am |
OK, I see that I need to start again - I've clearly brought a lot of unhelpful confusion by my poor choice of the term 'NSA'! Let me put my position in context: - In my practical experience, long term stable happiness in a permanent relationship is something that has always remained beyond my reach. Growing up, I found women my own age too bitchy, shallow and materialistic for me to be able to approach. As a conscientious youth with a passion for science. futurism, discovery, nature and creativity, and naïve/indifferent to the fashion scene I was treated with derision by peers - wilfully unacademic self-appointed fashion police who enjoyed strength in numbers. Rule by the lowest common denominator. I was a geek and a misfit, undeserving of amorous female attention. Friends told me I should be more assertive, dress up and hit the night scene, Apparently, with my looks I could not go wrong. But those adventures were some of the most bleak and dehumanising experiences of my life. Standing alone being ignored and feeling awkward and helpless in a hostile environment, bombarded by hellish noise, and watching from a distance as all the women that turned my head buzzed around odious fashion-following male sociopaths like flies around a warthog's anus. Later, when my fortunes did turn, my most physically/emotionally rewarding and life affirming experiences with women were short lived, because by that time I had learned not to be fussy, and seize and enjoy opportunities while they presented themselves - even though in the longer run these were only based on physical attraction and not on any real shared values. So these temporary flings just fizzled out by mutual consent. Not that I consciously intended it that way. My one marriage was to a cruel and abusive woman to whom I was a mere doormat to be trampled under foot and moulded into a compliant society zombie and cash cow. Now I am a divorcee, 52 with no home of my own and a school age son. My income is precarious. I am struggling to maintain a quality of life that brings me fulfilment. I have regular commitments to my son, nowhere private to bring a partner and unpredictable work patterns meaning I never know when I have to disappear to pursue work commitments. When I have no work available I have to go into survival mode never knowing how long I'll need to make my savings last. And to top it all, throughout my life I have found the search for a kind, intelligent unmaterialistic woman with mutual physical attraction and values to build a lasting relationship with utterly futile. Irrespective of what new environments I try to find them in. I find myself stuck in a society whose values have been reduced to a base artificiality of materialism and false personalities based on mindless consumption. Predatory manipulative men who play this game with ruthless efficiency are held up as icons to be desired and emulated and invariably have their choice of women. But I am invisible to anyone I find attractive. So here I am turning to sites like this as a last chance saloon. If a long term relationship with all its prohibitively complex requirements is out of my reach, then maybe I can meet a woman who like me just wants to meet someone to share mutually life affirming gratification with on a less regular basis, with neither needing to feel under pressure to try to make commitments beyond their means. And someone who shares intimacy with me because she wants it the same as I do - not because I am paying her for the privilege. And I don't want to hurt, deceive or exploit anyone. But once again, I am invisible. Women ranging from the discreet to outrageous temptresses display profiles which announce their availability. Women close to my age. Many use terms like 'no strings attached', 'casual fun', 'discreet occasional encounters' and 'not looking for long term serious'. I message them with the intention of meeting on mutual terms. But I am ignored by all of them. So sites like this are not after all a haven or refuge from the vicious rat race outside. They are merely an extention of it. The same kinds of winners still take all. At what point does someone like me become entitled to take a stand against this Sodom and Gomorrah culture and call it by its name?
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Do only bad men get replies on this site? ..."Only bad men"?... No... I joined this site to meet a woman I can enjoy discreet, NSA encounters with. .... Welcome to being a male a on a sex site. I do not display explicit photos of myself, ... Probably a good idea.. ..if you did, you'd mostly get attention from homosexuals. and do not assert my desires using filthy and explicit language. ....Why not? You're on the appropriate site to use "Filthy and explicit language". If you want to be a choir boy, then go to eharmony or match. but I have not received any interest at all from any female members, .... You have lots of more aggressive male competition . despite having contacted quite a few, mostly close to my own age. .... You're on a sex site.... take advantage of that, and try to hook up with younger women. You have a chance. Take it. I have only received a string of flirts from fake profiles who show young attractive American women, but who are clearly African scammers..... Yes... that's the character of the site now.... I suggest you participate on at least 5 different newer sites. Do I need to post an obscene photo, work out obsessively in the gym, and use boastful crass language about my libedo if I am to stand any chance of being contacted by any genuine women here??..... First, don't sit there expecting women to come looking for you. You're just an average so-so guy. You need to do your own hunting. Anyway... at your age trying to pretend to be someone you're not, is not a good idea. You have to own the character you are, or it doesn't work.
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11/14/2018 3:35 pm |
Sodom and Gomorrah were old testament towns that were so rife with corruption and depravity that the offended God laid waste to them - a fitting analogy to our present day moribund rat race society! I realise the community on this site shouldn't be singled out for any special level of blame - and that what I speak of is really a society wide problem. But I'd be interested to know how many other people there are out there who feel my words resonate with them. Such a shame that seemingly so few of the membership will ever read these blogs. I've read of public heath studies that reveal that occurences of many life-limiting maladies are directly proportional to levels of inequality. Heart disease, strokes, diabetes and cancer as well as mental and behavioural problems closely correlate to the levels of inequality in a country. Bio-psycho-social stress which actually kills people in droves, while those most responsible for preserving the status quo and propagating the structural violence of inequality are systematically shielded from any culpability. Maybe I'm just thinking out loud here, but I'm wondering by how much that toxic stress could be reduced if women - now we have the me too generation - did take the lead in seeking out men in dating environments, and actually rejected men displaying the most predatory, venal and manipulative behaviours in favour of more discreet modest profiles. 'You may say I'm a dreamer - but I'm not the only one' ~ John Lennon.
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11/25/2018 3:46 pm |
Thankfully, I only paid for one month. And no, I certainly have not met anyone great on here. There a three kinds of people I have met here: - Firstly there are those who have replied indignantly to my complaints in these blogs and told me I should meekly accept being ignored by all female members I've contacted and just respect their democratic decision for doing so. Secondly there are two who have actually replied to say 'no thanks', and whom I have thanked for their rejection for at least not having treated me as if I were invisible. And thirdly there are those numerous members - clearly African scammers who have filled my inbox using stolen photos of attractive 30 year old American women. Clearly I am seen as just a carcass only fit for being cleaned off the landscape by vultures. To hell with this whole toxic experience...
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