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Life has a funny way...
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Life has a funny way... It is so crazy how things work out sometimes. When you love someone so completely that you’d do anything in the world for them and they cast you off as tho you are trash. Then they will incessantly probe every account that they know of and even will commit crimes against you to gain access to personal information and try and find out what you are doing and whom you are doing it with when all you wanted to begin with is for them to know all of that. But instead when they had access to you or when you were emotionally and mentally available to them, they instead chose games. Hurtful games with those you knew about (husband) and they’d play games with others that you didn’t know about (strangers), then they’d play games with you about those that you did know about in ways that they would never relay to you (using you and telling their husband all of it or at least the husband thought it was all of it) then start playing games with strangers to get them to interact with you and video things.... all just to play games when your heart and life was open for the<b> stomping </font></b>or given freely for her to see and use as she would. But it was never good enough it was never a place that she found to be enough to give me an opportunity that was real. Instead she told lies, told half truths, made fun of me in voice messages that I at least thought that she was ay least alone when giving me a piece of her mind but it wasn’t, it was with an audience to prove again that I wasn’t sacred to her and I could hear them laughing at me. I remember begging her to come and see me, to just drive the 1.7 miles to my hotel room but she refused even though her excuses were weather related but she could go the 1.8 miles the other way for a coffee. It no longer matters, I realize that I was nothing to her, that she openly admitted that she never tried at all to please me and later I even find evidence of so many more deceitful and hateful things that she did to me and others. Yet somehow through it all I am deemed the problem, the issue, or the liar. When she never once gave me a window into her real world of reality. I hate it. I hate that I gave her so much of me and I got nothing in return. I hate that I was never something that she viewed valuable enough to give me an honest chance at winning her heart. But I am so thankful that I met her. I pray for her everyday that she may find true happiness and be allowed the peace that I now feel. It saddens me when I think of the few times I was allowed into her heart and felt those few times her love but then she got scared or afraid of failure or afraid of what my love could mean or how vulnerable that it would open her up to and she ran from it everytime instead. I am thankful for all the things she did teach me, and how much she showed me that it is ok to be me and not worry what others think. Thank you so much for that, as now I have been applying those lessons learned and I am a better person for it. I truly pray that you find happiness V.... |
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