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Getting to yes - part 2
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Getting to yes - part 2 Great! You have found someone with the same goal. You both (or both parties, could be couples) want to meet, now your best job is to not mess it up. I am a woman, so I am writing this from a woman's perspective and my own personal point of view. I want to know that when I meet someone that I will be safe and my feelings and opinions will be respected. So, that starts by being treated respectfully. Sometimes guys jump right into questions that lead to a yes or no answer without knowing the goal (problem 1) and do it without any respect for my feelings and in a way that makes me feel unsafe (problem 2). The next step is to find out what needs to be done to get to a meeting, so that both parties are comfortable. I have found out that this is not just an issue for women, many men want to feel safe and meet in a setting that is comfortable for them, too. So, it's up to both parties to explain what they need to feel safe to move to "yes" to meet. For me, I want to talk on the phone with someone and get a feel for who they are and how they communicate with me. You may not want or need to do that. If you sense that someone needs to feel safe in someway, the easiest way to get to yes is to ensure that you communicate your understanding of the need for safety and how to ensure that. It may be the desired setting to meet... and that should be respectful of both people's points of views. This doesn't have to be complicated or protracted, just mindful. Assuming that there are good intentions on both parts, you want to keep from getting a "no", and it's very easy to get a no answer... even if you're both really wanting to meet. Shyness, fear of failure and rejection, and safety concerns are just some of the reasons why someone may say no.... or say yes but later not show up. So, the more care that you give in understanding and addressing, if you can, their concerns, the more likely you are to get a successful yes.  |
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Hmmmm.. Good tips! 👍 I guess when she asked me if I was ok 🆗 with hand cuffs, I should have said no... 🤔 Wish me luck.. I should be fine. I've given my neighbour the make of the car she drives.... 😶 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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"Safe" is kind of a catch-all term where every woman knows what it means, yet men seem to only superficially understand. Physically -- Yes, we all want to be sure we're not in any danger of physical harm. I would even add verbal abuse into this category. If I have to wonder if I'm going to get called "bitch" or "cunt" for politely saying no to sex on a first meet, then that's enough for my Safety Needle to say NO to the meet. And yes guys, women can hear you saying it in your head, even if it never actually comes out audibly. Level of comfort -- I'm going to be just as nervous and anxious as the guy is about how things are going to go. I'm wondering what I'm going to talk about and if I'm going to like the guy and if I'm making a good impression. Adding to that anxiety by putting me in unfamiliar environments isn't going to help. A noisy bar with live music is only going to make me wonder how we're going to have a conversation over the noise. A museum ... "Umm, a watercolor of a bowl of oranges, that's nice, I guess" (I'm not an art person, so what else do you say?). Dancing? I'm not sure I'm ready for physical contact, even at that level, on a first meet. None of those are comfortable environments for me. Level of pressure -- I wrote about this once a while back whereby guys suggest overly elaborate and fancy dates. That's a significant financial investment for the guy, and it pressures me to match that level of investment. Not a good idea. "No pressure, nothing has to happen" works well with a lunch meet over Chinese takeout ... but can NEVER work when a guy is suggesting meeting a hotel room (that's pressure no matter how emphatically he insists otherwise). Most women can't articulate it quite like that, so they just lump it all together as "I don't feel safe."
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I remember reading getting to yes years ago when I was in sales. If I recall Fisher's advice was collect "no"s and eventually you will get "yes"s. Which interestingly was my fathers advice years ago. He said "if you ask 100 women to sleep with you, you'll get slapped 99 times". This was his approach to sales. I wasn't much for getting slapped so I preferred Harvey Mcckay's style of getting to know everything about the customer through a "relationship" style of selling. It certainly has worked here, and I rarely get slapped. I hope and I pray for a Hester to win just one more "A", the sadder but wiser girl for me.
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Ok.. Everyone on A F F is so serious today.. Not you, per ce.. 😊 If you're intelligent, confident and have read a book ... or 2... conversation comes easily to you, and if you've been raised in a civil, respectful household respect comes naturally. After that - fear of failure, adequacy,.. all those other things are 'fake' pressures that people put on themselves, because of their own low self esteem, low self confidence and pressure on believing - that 'this meet up', is THE one. It might be one of many. It's just a first shot to make an impression. If you're not ready for the exam.. of course, you're going to fuck up. It's a process, not a test. But you can't fake it. So... if you haven't studied ALL your life, on how to be the best, most respectful, intelligent, interesting and engaging guy you could possibly be - while trying to meet a mature woman.. - you're fucked! No amount of tips or suggestions will help. You should have prepared yourself, in the previous 30 years! That's my pov. So many Looser guys here, because they never paid attention to the details, and they never knew which details to pay attention to... Sad... 😔 Be entertaining, confident, intelligent, engaging, funny... and the rest of the stuff... will take care of itself... And THEN....there is... the physical side of things. And THAT IS, something, NOBODY, can control! So... Live with the results of that! Right? 😉 Hey girl.. I'm having a party on my side of the island. It's on my private beach. Look for the balloons. 🏝️🏖️🌊👀🍾🍸 Take care.. L8r? 😘 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Yeah.. I say it's not a TEST but I contradict myself by saying that it is... It's only a test to see what level, you can reach.. right? For some.. Big hits and a hard cock is all they need. And then.... chemistry.. Lol. You know what I'm taking about. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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