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What are your stories from dating platforms?
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What are your stories from dating platforms? I have many stories form my experience on dating sites and apps. Some downright amazing, some funny and some just terrible. Now strap in lads, I'm drunk enough to retell one. Buckle the fuck up, it's a long one, but worth the read. Be me. New to Tinder and not really expecting much to happen from it. I'm an old fashioned guy, I like going out to meet people rather than swiping at home on the toilet, so the getting used Tinder or any social media is like teaching a cat to bark. I come across the profile of this chick who immediately catches me attention. Solid 10 in my book. I immediately swipe right and we match. Great! I hit her with one of my terrible openers, a gif of the TItanic. Solid ice breaker am I right lol? She laughs and I know I'm in. We talk and get to know each other a little bit more. This goes on until she brings up sex. I mention that I'm not expecting anything but she says she's looking to hook up because she's been having dry spell for a few months and has been masturbating daily to get by. I say sure I can solve that. It should have clicked to me why a 10/10 would be having trouble getting laid but what did I care at the time, Alex's gonna make a girl cum! Now, she lives about an hour and a half away from me and I think to myself do I really want to travel that far for sex? My dick did all the thinking and came to a resounding YES. To convince myself even more, I called it a road trip. I get dressed and head out for our meet up at 7PM. I immediately end up in Friday afternoon's peak traffic. Fugg. I sit in traffic for an hour and finally hit the highway. Smooth sailing now lads! I get a call at 6:45PM, it's her. She says she's gonna be late and I say no worries, I was in traffic anyway. I get to the location at 730PM. She arrives at 845PM. Yeah, was not fun. She gets in and says I'm a lot cuter than my picture. I say thanks and tell her the same. She was gorgeous! I tell her she has to show me around since I normally just drive through the town to get to somewhere else. She takes us to restaurant she frequents. She gets the first round and we chat some more. I kiss her mid sentence and she seems surprised. I say I had to, she's cute. We talk some more and order some food. Now here's where things start flipping upside down and I'd like to take minute, just sit right there and I'll tell you how this turned into a total nightmare. She orders some chicken pasta and they don't have the type of pasta she likes (penne). She calls over the waitress and starts making a scene about it. This was completely awkward for me. The waitress and I locked eyes and I could see that she wanted to just end life right there. It was completely embarrassing. My date reluctantly accepts the dish and takes a bite. She says it's terrible and refuses to pay for it and asks for it to be returned to the kitchen. Remember folks, she chose this place. A message comes in on her phone and she gets up and goes for a smoke. I didn't know she smokes. Kind of a turn off for me, but I'll allow it. Some random guys walks up to her shortly after and she shares a smoke with him. Didn't think much of it, but the lore for that encounter comes later in the evening. I finish eating and hail the waitress for the bill. I tip her for her troubles. Oh boy. My date returns and I suggest we head somewhere else. She takes us to a bar and gets us a few more rounds of Vodka and terrible beer. We end up making out as I start getting a little more handsy. She suggests we head back to her place shortly after. On the way to her place, we stop at a gas stsation and she buys more Vodka. More Vodka, the better for me.She directs me to her house and I swear these roads don't exist on any map service. I die tonight. Clear my browsing history and tell my mom to get cooking lessons is my last will and testament. We pull up to the house and it doesn't look too bad. However, it's in complete darkness. I triple check my car is locked up and we head in. She says she's around back. It didn't register at the time but I should have just nope'd the fuck out. Dick doesn't care, gonna get laid. She opens the door and flips the light switch. She says the lights aren't working, low voltage. We end up using the torches on our phones to get around. I shit you not, empty beer bottles all over the place. You'd think it's an episode of Hoarders or she's really into recycling or something. Now before you say, Alex, you asshole, you judgmental fuck, you don't know what's up. You don't have the full story. It's exactly how it was. She says sorry, I cleaned up yesterday and I didn't get to clean today. Lol! Sure. She leads me to the bedroom and 'Chuckie' is playing on her TV. It was on repeat. I eneded up watching it 3 times for that night. She then strips to her bra and boy shorts. I'm hard as diamonds at the sight of this. I ask to freshen up and head to the bathroom. Lights are out too. TF man! I turn the torch on my phone, holy shit this place is terrible. The show has hair and cigarette butts in the drain and there's dead roaches in the tub. I say hell nah and decide to use the faucet to wash up. I'm greeted with a container with odd coloured water and half used cigs. I ended up using the bathroom altogether. I come out in my boxers, freshly soaked from the sight of her in the boy shorts. She now topless and I witness the best tits I've seen in a while. I get in bed with her and went for a handful of them. I decide i want to lick them and went for it. She stops me saying it reminds her doing it. WTF! There was no mention of a the entire night. Turns out the lives with her grandmother because my date is trying to get her life together. Wew lad. She then says we can't do anything tonight. I ask why and she says it's complicated. I say I get it and say lets cuddle instead. I stroke her hair and spoon her and she falls asleep in 10 mins. I just stare at her and kiss her forehead. I close my eyes, with 'Chuckie' playing in the<b> background </font></b>and I hear her muttering something. 'No', 'Stop' she says and starts flailing. I wake her up and ask if she's ok. She's fine she says and asks why. I teller her she was sleep talking and started flailing. She says it's normal for her. Her and her ex didn't get along so well and he was the guy she was talking to earlier in the evening. I have no words to console her so I just hug her and tell her she's safe. This repeats throughout the night and I end up not sleeping at all. It's now morning, and she's waking up. I kiss her and get one more handful of those amazing breasts. She laughs. I get under the covers and start licking her pussy. She's moaning and holding onto me. I slowly come up to her neck and I slide my cock in. She reminds me to put on a condom, I do and we get back to it. I have her legs up and she cums in a minute and stops me. She's she can't anymore. I say fine, but it's unfair she cums and I didn't. She starts giving me a blowjob and her phone rings. She answers and gives me the saddest handjob ever. I decide that this is a lost cause and just tell her I have to go. She walks me out and we hug goodbye. I then travel for another 2 hours to get home. My dick was not impressed with me that night. Bar far the weirdest night I've had meeting someone. No wonder she was having a dry spell. All in all, 2/10 experience, would not recommend. I still have mix feelings about that night. Feel free to share your experiences. |
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