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BPD
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BPD She wasn’t any more or any less perfect than I was... we both had issues - I learned to control my mind - my demons were locked deep in my soul - she danced with hers ....she told me from the beginning she wanted to live alone in town and perhaps for the first time in my life I’m not the least bit sad it ended I’m grateful to life it happened.... It was beyond psychotic it was BPD borderline Personality Disorder for which I am a magnet,,,, It was brutally toxic, she hit me and called me names daily .... it was the best sex I've ever had in my life we were both natural freaks as long sex is at that level I can justify anything .....I’m not the same person I was 51 days ago. Through her abuse she subconsciously taught to me to love and accept people just the way they are ... she taught me not to sweat the small stuff and its all small stuff if you always remember the fact that ur going to wake up with that person and it makes all things petty irrelevant. She proved to me that one day you will meet someone who can do no wrong in your eyes and when your buttons are being pushed to the limit you have a choice - you can react with anger or react with love ... and its a really good feeling to go through absolute hell with someone and know you never once raised your hand or your voice because somehow you knew they need that to heal.... she deserved more than I could ever give her and my life is not conducive to anything but hard work and harder fun... and don’t be a hater if someones work is more fun than yours .., she taught me that serial monogamy and polyamory can not only coexist but be a beautiful thing... it really does taste better if you share ... never let moral dilemmas from societal conditioning effect your judgement of people .... take the time to look into eyes of the man in mirror and remember how many times you’ve said I'm sorry and then hear those words and hold that person and without saying it and looking deep in their eyes let them feel they never have to say that and those two words will change your life forever esp when its something you thought you could never<b> forgive </font></b>for and after all these years you finally understand that love and forgiveness are one and the same .... and if you are fortunate enough to ever reach a level of intimacy where your souls truly touch never say anything to anyone else but that person and it becomes sacred and remains in your heart forever ... I’m not going to post a pic .., those of you that love me and those of you that hate me know who she is ..,but I know what she’s going through ... you can let someone go on with their journey and still love and care about them and you can help them and never see them or expect anything in return ... true love transcends time and space ... you can be with someone once and they are with you forever ... im not trying to understand any of it for there are things we were never meant to understand ... just be happy and feel truly blessed that you experienced something most people search for all their life never realizing that it was inside them the entire time and somewhere out there is that person who will reach into your soul and change your life forever and it truly was the most unlikely person in the strangest place at the most inopportune time and I will always love and care about her and I never needed her to love and care about me to make that true ... its a beautiful day to love yourself ...  |
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