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| Blogs > tomboytgirl68 > Me Without Anything Else |
Almost Time to Smile and Pose to Please ? .....
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Almost Time to Smile and Pose to Please ? ..... Hi. As with my posts thus far, sometimes I finish knowing that what I just posted was just talking to myself, selfishly cathartic only ... and sometimes the same thing .... but perhaps someone was/is listening in. This is to be one of the latter .... hence the "Hi". There are a couple of items currently simmering in my boiling pot. For anyone curious about the pix status, I do believe I have found a<b> photographer. </font></b>I have an interview with her later this week to confirm whatever I guess and some test shots, i second guess .... very professional ..... is that good? Yes, I know, so why all the fuss, etc? right? Well, presently, that is a secret ... I mean why not add even more drama, right? Well, right now I can only respond with that I will only know the answers to that after my interview, etc. I .... and I am sure you can understand this concerning this whole issue thus far .... do not want to assume much of anything anymore ... to not say anything until I know for sure. Secondly, for what seems like forever, I have wondered about some very basic personal issues, etc. about myself ... what makes me "special". Recently, I have discovered a potpourri of notations, references, memorandum, etc, from my life experiences beginning with 7th grade or 13 years old forward . Amid the chaos now still unpacking the residuals from my move and finding both treasures and junk, I discovered my old diaries, journals, etc ..... my Pandora's Box. Upon taking mongo time so far with organizing, etc, I am up to being through my college years and together with my memories, have seen several patterns that fill in many of the blanks I have had for so long .... and so I am wondering .... considering. There must be others with similar circumstances; what if I just tell it like it is/was and just like it was/is ... the good, the bad and the ugly ... I can afford to confess my part of it ... my transgressions where/when they existed and it wont be as sensational or as much fun reading as an exotic/porn movie ... but those with similar experiences will know the truth of it all and maybe helped also or at least know they are not alone ... its not all their fault, etc. Do not misunderstand, I like myself; always have. But it is also easier with some insight/understanding as to the bigger picture. Anyway, that is something I am considering as if nothing else, I would have welcomed reading about someone like me who was just open and honest, candid about it all at some point. And finally, no, this is not a secret like the pix fiasco, I just am still thinking about it and how I would even do it at all as much of my own conclusions are with the addition of my memories, so just how effective would my narrations be to someone else who has different memories. Lots to think about ..... xox Kaycee |
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