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Time for Men to rediscover their Masculinity!
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Time for Men to rediscover their Masculinity! We have raised two generations of boys that did not have a consistent and positive MASCULINE role model to follow once they hit puberty, and really needed a MAN to show them how to become MEN. So consequently we have a bunch of Asshole alpha-types causing problems for the reputation all men or are locked in jail. Or you get the "Nice Guys or Beta Males", or just a bunch of overly feminized men in my opinion. This is a failing of the absentee fathers, and society turning its back on some of the traditional values like integrity, honesty, assertiveness, and a commitment to something greater than ourselves as men, like a wife, , family, and community. These things helped make a man noble and worthy of respect, and helped boys become men. Why do I believe this? Where is this idea coming from? Around the time a boy starts puberty (12 - 14 years old) his body starts producing testosterone at massive levels. Testosterone brings a flood of intense emotions and sexual energy that a boy need to learn to control and channel in healthy ways, so it does not become destructive, or more importantly, self-destructive. This is where the discipline, impulse control, and a matured temperament of a masculine adult really shapes a boy into the kind of man he will become. Lets start with the intense emotions an adolescent boy has to contend with. I stole this paragraph from an article off the website Pysch Central about the differences in brain anatomy between men and women. "Stereotypically, women are thought of as emotional and men as logical, but biology reveals this as false. Curiously, the inverse in true. Scientists have discovered that men have a larger part of their brain devoted to emotional responses (amygdala) and a smaller region for logical thinking (pre-frontal cortex) than women. This makes sense if you consider the energy needed to be vigilant for self-protection. Men are hard wired for hunting, competition and dominance. Their powerful emotional outbursts of anger, when seen through the hunter-gatherer lens, are helpful to come out on top during a confrontation." Men are hard-wired for anger, because it triggers the flight or flight response, and makes us better protectors and hunters. Now this goes back to the history before modern society, but it is HARD-WIRED in our DNA. To an adult that hasn't gone through this formative time in a young man's life, they can't necessarily grasp how intense this can be. We become more competitive, aggressive, and even combative. Without a consistent (almost daily) masculine role model to pattern ourselves after, primarily through repetition over a period of years, these emotions just gets stored up and will eventually explode. And the role modeling is not learned verbally (by what we say to boys) but by demonstration (what other men do and how they carry themselves). Remember more emotional, less logical. The sexual energy manifests itself quite often as competition for placement within a hierarchy of males in our social circles and age group. We fight, mentally and emotionally manipulate, and compete at sports and other things to be seen as the Alpha Male, or to have the most status, and therefore to have the most sexual options available to us. This is not "Toxic Masculinity", it serves a purpose, it creates leaders, forces a young man to access his faults and shortcomings, and gives him the energy and innate drive to move up the hierarchy and be more successful. It makes him BETTER if it is channeled and structured properly by the guidance and examples of MAN. Like the intense emotions, this can become a source of self-destruction. By the time we reach the ages of 16 to 18 puberty ends, and if we don't have a foundation for impulse control and discipline that we can continue to develop and rely upon for day to day life, we are easily derailed from being productive members of society. We flounder and become aimless and unproductive. Here is a very important point to consider... It is that aim (direction in life) and ability to be productive that gives our life purpose and meaning!! Like the Benevolent King who protects, cares for, leads, and sacrifices for his people, each man must discover the modern day version of this in himself if he is to live a life that has value. Otherwise we stray off into<b> alcohol </font></b>and drugs, womanizing, crime, and other destructive pursuits that hurt us and those around us. Or we just become indecisive, purposeless, unproductive slackers (beta males) until life kicks us in the head and makes us wake up (hopefully) and develop a mission and purpose for our lives. A lot of men these days have been denied this essential right of passage. Some, like myself have to discover this on their own later in life, and that's a much tougher road without the role models to follow. Some never find it at all, and that is tragic! So many males these days don't understand this noble purpose and drive, and therefore they aren't equipped to teach their sons, because they have allowed themselves to become dull (physically, mentally, and emotionally) by modern life. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” As for the absentee fathers, or mothers that block responsible men from being a part of a boys life in these very formative years (12 to 1  , the person you are hurting the most is YOUR ! Stop it. If the father isn't around, then make sure he has regular visitation with other positive masculine role models, like uncles, older cousins, and grandfathers.Men, if you are a failure in this aspect of your life, pull your head out of your ass, find a noble mission for your life, and started getting better in every way possible, each and every day. Let nothing and NO ONE, not even your wife, deter you from becoming the very best you can be (she will likely appreciate it and respect it if you tell her what you are doing and why you are doing it.) Get physically fit again, address you mental and emotional issues so you can become stronger from doing it, and read-read-read, so you can find your purpose. Most women, whether they want to admit it or not, instinctively want a man to follow and build a meaning life with. It's part of their pre-historic DNA as well as well it is part of a man's pre-historic DNA to strive to become the Benevolent King. That's why they complain about a "lack of good men", and are falsely attracted to the "Jerks" and "Assholes" that eventually let them down. Because the jerks and assholes lack a true mission or purpose, and the character attributes (integrity, honesty, commitment to bigger than just yourself) to make it possible. That is why I believe men need to rediscover their masculinity. Shape it and harness it for the good of not only yourself, but for those around you, and especially those you love. Of course that's just my opinion. |
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an interesting hypothesis
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And today we have a new label, “toxic masculinity”, which I abhor. Pussy boys are being raised now because they are being told being a man is wrong.
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