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Thoughts and Questions on Younger Women  

garygrayson 70M
13 posts
8/14/2019 5:14 pm
Thoughts and Questions on Younger Women


Somewhat new to the website and I seem to get - 20 emails a from women from all over the country, and from outside the country itself. You can always tell the posers that list themselves in your city (or close by, or they'll "be visiting soon") but it is obvious that English is not their first language and once you start talking to them, it becomes clear that they're outside the US and hoping to use you for a Green .

Sure, we all think back to our 20's when sex with hotties was the norm. But now, 65, and although I'd love to have a hottie I have to reflect on what it will , both in terms of wealth and psycho-social currency as well.

First, I find that the attraction for a twenty- or thirty-something is almost always about what I can do for them financially. Yes, there are the " babies" and, least, by declaring themselves one, they're upfront about it. That said, I find that most women, that tell me they want to be with me, want to live in the nice house, drive the Mercedes, and wear designer clothing, but will not contribute anything to the relationship financially to make that happen. Come on ladies. As a protected , women talk about being strong and independent and you all want to celebrate that, but how many of you are about the big diamond ring and finding a man to take care of you? Does that do your cause for recognition and respect any good?

On my 18th birthday my father told me he was going to need rent for my room... that, or I could get out. I got a job and started understanding that nobody in this world was going to hand me anything. Anything of value in my life was going to come from my own labor. Do women actually think this way as well?

I did a little bit of an experiment on a more traditional dating website a couple of years ago. I established two profiles. On this particular website, they asked for your occupation and annual income. I put out the same profile description, and mostly the same pictures on both profiles. On one profile I listed I was in the<b> medical </font></b>field (true) and my income as over $250,000/year (true) and included a picture with me and my airplane (yes, I own an airplane), and another of me in surgical scrubs. On the other profile I left those two pictures out and listed my income as $80,000/year and listed my occupation as working with computers (I actually did this in a former life). Take a guess which profile got times the of responses, and not just from women. The profile with less income and no hint that a surgeon and a private pilot got no responses from anyone the age of 35 and very few the age of 40.

The second issue with dating women more than two decades from my age is, what do we do when we're not in the bedroom? I have no idea what a 25 year old woman thinks, or how to relate to her. Just ask my twenty-something daughters. Relationships need commonality to survive over a long term. What common ground do you, as a 25 year old woman, think you have with a 65 year old man?

Thus, I ask you women. Is all of the talk from the women on "The View", and "The Talk", and by Oprah and others about empowering women to take control of their own lives so they can be strong and independent just BS? Do you always to your man for support? Would you be interested in a decent looking man whose a good person that is 30 to 40 years older than you are if you had to support him or if you were equal partners?

Please, don't label as a hater. I am anything but. I have had some amazing women in my life, women I've loved and respected. And, I have two amazing daughters. I just have to ask if, as a , does willingness by a large of women, in this and age, to be financially dependent on a man, rather than to just to him for love and emotional support help you as a ?

Finally, I understand that you can't lump all in one basket. There are some ladies there that are truly into older men and are attracted to "" types. There are also women there that really want to be an equal partner in their mate's life. I hope I can find one.

HAMONMAN 64M
13128 posts
8/14/2019 8:14 pm

" Is all of the talk from the women on "The View", and "The Talk", and by Oprah and others about empowering women to take control of their own lives so they can be strong and independent just BS?"

That's a question for HeathenG ! !


positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
8/14/2019 9:41 pm

Yep, hold on. Heathen will be here soon to splain it all to you.


garygrayson 70M

8/15/2019 10:59 am

Not at all a an ad. I'm just tired of getting 20 emails a day from women that are obviously playing the game. And, it's not just this website. It's more traditional dating sites as well. I doubt that there are tons of women in their 20's that are looking for guys 40 years older than them without an ulterior motive. I've just started deleting the emails without reading them because I've yet to have one that truly seemed interested in a partnership type relation where we're combining our wealth and labor toward the goal of living a better life. My question was, does this hurt the cause for those of you who are not here as "gold diggers" but want to be respected as strong and independent women. If so, what is there to be done about that. Certainly the criticism can't come from men. Look, I wrote this post and have already drawn criticism from women for my observations.


positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
8/15/2019 11:43 am

Mine was no criticism. My alledged wit gets me in trouble sometimes.
I may have missed your point. The older man for me is out of the question. I would have to go to the home to find him. I never wanted a man’s money. I wanted my own money and I attained that and still do.
I am not rich but I have done okay. So, if a hot younger poorer man shows interest, do I know if it is the undying love for me or a meal ticket? It does work both ways you know. I’m leaning towards meal ticket. I do get your dilemma. If I were rich, I think I would try not to let that be known if possible. Then you may weed out the opportunists and win them over with charm and attraction. Do know that a wealthy man has been a goal of women since forever. In a lot of cases, not all.


garygrayson 70M

8/15/2019 1:13 pm

I appreciate your honesty. We've all heard of the unicorn. For me, that would be someone in their mid-thirties, established, with a good career, that appreciates being with an older guy. Don't get me wrong. I have been with women my own age and younger, but there is something about a woman in her mid-thirties that does it for me. Most importantly, we have to relate, socially. I can't relate to 20 somethings and I'm not sure how they would feel that they would relate to me. That is what a "relat"ionship is, relating to one another. Hot times in the bedroom (or any room) but when you want to get away for the weekend or just sit home and chill, you have to be able to enjoy the same activities, music, etc. I had a relationship with a 26 year old a few years back. Great sex, but that was it. When I met her she was in community college studying to be a nurse. I offered to put her through college. We started living together. I later found out that, rather then attending classes, she was hanging our with friends (girls and guys). They're just my friends and I need them. We just enjoy hanging out," she told me. She dropped out of school. "It'll be better. I'll just stay home and take care of you." She was spending about $400/week and was rarely home during the day as she was hanging out with friends. When we were together at home she was constantly texting her friends to the point of ignoring any attempted conversation. She got a DUI and crashed my car. The sex dried up quickly. And when I broke it off with her she told me she was going to talk to an attorney about support or a settlement. We were only together 9 months and living together less than 6. Good luck I told her. Can you blame me for being cautious? Can you blame me for wondering why 10 - 20 twenty-somethings a day, from all over the country, and outside the country would look at my profile and send me an email with provocative pictures? In some ways, I wish the site would have a feature similar to the search feature where you could specify criteria and block contact based on that criteria.


positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
8/15/2019 2:29 pm

I advise you to not look here. Too many scammers. Go out in the real world and learn from the last chickie. You found a flake.


garygrayson 70M

8/15/2019 3:51 pm

In part, my point is that I get the same thing from eHarmony, Match, Tinder, and Bumble. I've even had women on OurTime, a site geared to my age group that have misrepresented their by three decades or more.


garygrayson 70M

8/16/2019 7:03 pm

Thanks BigLala. The question I asked was at the end of the third paragraph of my original post: "how many of you are about the big diamond ring and finding a man to take care of you? Does that do your cause for recognition and respect any good? "

You're right. I can ignore them but should I need to ignore 20 a day?

Anyway. Thanks for letting me vent. Best to all of you. -Eddie


garygrayson 70M

8/17/2019 6:46 am

Great point... and the answer is no. We've lost the art of civility in the country. People need to show respect. It would be presumptuous of me to think I could apologize on behalf of my gender but I can offer my empathy and promise that those contacting me are always met with a dignified and respectful response.


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