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| Blogs > JonsHardNHotRod > Memoirs of a Hard n' Hod Rod |
There's nothing to hide here
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There's nothing to hide here I've been an FriendFinder-x member for over two years. Since joining I've had the pleasure of hooking with quite a lot of members in my area, and it's been a great ride. When I started I made the usual mistakes newbies do, but after about a month I was getting know people, talking the phone and getting into kinds of good old grown- trouble. So looking back, I thought I'd share a few ideas that may help us get better at getting beyond the meet-n-greet stage and getting "know" each other better. Today's tip is about lurking. There's nothing wrong with looking around - we do, but there are ways we do it that we dislike. My two least favorite are: 1) Hidden profiles. If there's one feature I don't like about FriendFinder-x more than the bad IM interface, it's how lurkers can hide themselves entirely, send flirts, and you try follow them back only see "profile not available". That hits my block list faster than you can blink. 2) Grey profiles. This could mean that you're brand new and haven't found any good pics or vids of yourself post, and you're still testing the waters. Or...you're the DL and are afraid that you'll somehow get identified and your life and career will be over in a heartbeat if you ever so much as flash your flesh. How does the old saying go? Give nothing, get nothing. As a grey, I tried messaging a few people and got - you guessed it - crickets. Or a very curt message saying that they won't talk until they see the goods. Why is that? Because... If I can't see you, chances are I can't trust you. Here's how it works. You're here meet people and fuck. Who in their right mind is going want jump in the sack with someone who doesn't show a single pic? If I don't know what you look like, what are the chances I'm going meet you at a bar or over coffee, much less fuck you? Do you write so eloquently that you're gonna seduce me with your verbal charms? Not likely. If it's your first-time nerves, that's understandable. But I bet I can conduct a straw poll with anyone here posting pics and they'll tell you they can count on one hand how many sexual partners they took in without a single photo posted. If you're trying to be on the DL, that's your choice, I was there one point in my life as well. But what are the odds that your cock, ass, tits or pussy will get accurately picked out of a police line-? Take some time, look around and see how many of us are posting our body pics without our faces or eyes in the frame. It's anonymous here. Don't be shy. Are you worried about the appearance of your goods? and I'll<b> photograph </font></b>them better  The point is, we're not here for dating or falling in love, and this is one of the few sites that lays it all on the line. We're open about meeting and fucking. If that scares you, jump in the deep end with us or... But don't with a compliment-laden message telling me I look great, would I like meet blah blah blah, and offer nothing for me look at. And don't try get speak privately with you and send a pic that way. It offends as a person who is out have fun and is open about it have you try manipulate into meeting you sight unseen, your terms. It's disrespectful. Till next time...be open, be honest, be safe, and happy fucking! Jon Stay horny, my friends. Love and Sexxx, Jon JonsHardNHotRod |
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I agree and disagree on certain points you make. Here's one I disagree on... : "Here's how it works. You're here meet people and fuck." "The point is, we're not here for dating or falling in love, and this is one of the few sites that lays it all on the line. We're open about meeting and fucking. If that scares you, jump in the deep end with us or..." No, not really. It's not solely a sex site. That's what many men claim it is...or to say differently, it's what they want the site to magically be, but there's no truth in that. This site is a multi-purpose site. Yes, the site does lays it on the line. By that, I mean that the site itself describes it's purpose and intent to be for MANY different reasons and for MANY different people, both online AND offline....and this DOES include dating and falling in love for some members. The corporate page of this very site says: "We run the world’s first and by far the largest adult dating network with one goal in mind: bringing in like-minded people together for fun, intimacy and love. ", therefore, this site is NOT solely designed just for sex or "meeting and fucking", as you falsely claim it to be. It CAN (I stress the word "CAN") be used for those purposes, as well as it CAN be used for love and dating...and for many other things, too. So basically what you're trying to say here is that the site lays it all on the line for it's design and purpose (which it does per the corporate page), but then contrary to that, you're basically then saying that if any of us aren't here for the sole purpose of "meeting and fucking", then we are obviously on the wrong site or perhaps should get off the site or go somewhere else (??). This seems to be what you're insinuating, which is dead wrong! People come to this site for many ,many various reasons for in-person intent such as dating, romance, love, friendships and of course for sex and fetishes of every ind imaginable. People also come here for online-only reasons such as socializing (chat rooms, emailing, IM), web camming, blogging [which you're on here], groups, blinging, erotic stories, photo contests, adult magazines/videos, the 'Sex Academy' section, the 'What's Hot' section, etc etc..., which by the way, is clearly also described on this site's corporate page by it's description of this: "Every day we’re finding new ways to help our members engage, communicate and connect with people who are looking for exciting experiences both online and offline.". So I am disagreeing on that point majorly with you. As for the whole pic trade thing. Personally speaking from a woman's point of view and from my daily experiences here, this site is merely a congregation of low I.Q. rude and ignorant beyond belief losers (generalizing, of course). There are also plenty of creepy men here, pic collectors, catfish and those who find it entertaining to redistribute other people's photos on different web sites throughout the internet. Men as a whole have shaped society into what it has now become and women are always weary of sharing anything like that to even those who we may sometimes think of as reputable and trustworthy men who later turn out to be those same losers. So yeah, red flags and guards are constantly up because privacy is something we all value, especially women. Many people often have circumstances that may jeopardize their work careers, their marital/dating status or otherwise their personal lives in some way. In fact, men have become so deplorable around here that I cannot tell you how many times men contact me first, then do me wrong and later want to argue and mistreat me, then retaliate childishly. Many people use personal pics as a leverage form of throwing people under the bus who they wish to retaliate on or to publicly expose with a bad reputation for some form of behavioral issues. This is precisely why I do not have pics up and will not share pics with any of the men on here. Yeah, I get it, though. I mean, if you have formed a balanced conversation with someone over a period of time and established a click that seems to be going in a certain direction, then if I were on the market I'd probably phone with them and set up a casual one on one meet in public for coffee without expectations. If it isn't who or what you expect, then you part ways peacefully. Pics and media are way too risky on here these days and most women understand that.
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