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Blogs > SinKingDown > The basement below Hell |
if i said I dident care
if i said I dident care i want to be angry. I just cant.I wish I could say I dident care. but i cant do that either. Tell ya what I did to get the no contact order. I couldn't go on wondering, not knowing.hanging onto that splinter of hope in my mind. It was making me crazy. So I sat down and wrote a letter to her husband.telling him the facts nothing more. because I was sure he was not getting the whole story. just her side of things. I did not embellish or exaggerate things. I said things that he would recognize that she had said to him while I was with her. He would often call wondering where she was. I dont know if he even read it. I had it delivered to his work by delivery service. along with stills pictures I pulled from some videos her and I had shot and just some pics and dates associated with all them. showing the extent of her deception. why did i do that? I had nothing to lose at that point. I had lost my friend. And there was no going back after I did that. I thought that he should know the truth or at least a part of it. And really see who was in his bed. it did not absolve me of my sins. But I did confess She had once told him that we attempted to sleep together one time, and said that "it dident feel right" well the pictures showed just the opposite and how right it did feel to her. I guess I miss what I thought it was. what she lead me to believe it was and that I believed it to be Even that she was married, i dident or couldent have a girlfriend. She made that perfectly clear to the friends that we had in common. The people we had in common knew about the affair too it wasent a secret by any means. I dont want to sound like i am<b> whining </font></b>but I got nothing now accept my broken heart. She gets her family. i get the prize of my broken heart. I am not proud of what I did. I thought it would have been different in the end. not like this |
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