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| Blogs > SilyconBond > I'm a dumpster fire |
Free..and getting happier about it.
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When I was away, I thought the women in my life would seek out someone new. One did try. It makes me sad for her because she didn’t find that feeling she was looking for. From my perspective, thirty years old, attractive, four very boring boyfriends in a row, and a mother that complains she doesn’t have a family yet, allergy to dogs and cats, and a job that bores her. Then out of the blue, someone drops into her life that makes her happy…and then happier…and then happier…. Then I went away. She gets stuck in a funk. Back to the same boring job. A guy asks her out, great looking guy…and he’s boring. She tries again with him anyway, and it gets worse. He is even more boring the second time. She forces herself to try, and just ten minutes into the date she texted her way out of it. As I listened to her story it actually brought back memories of the way I was. I was that boring guy in my twenties. I think I could have coached that guy for a better outcome for both of them. She texts me on my ocean cruise and I joke about the sun being too hot and the ocean being too blue with not enough trees. I’m happy, but not. I complain about the wrong things and I praise the wrong things, which make her laugh. Other people laughing makes me feel good. Then I return and still not wholly available. Her roommate suggests they do something dramatic for him, and instead of being happy about it. The sacrifice she made, made me upset. I left but didn’t ignore texts or calls. My response of “I just need three days. Make me dinner on that fourth day and I will be there,” was irritating, but added something, maybe hope. That fourth day. I did show. After only a couple bites, a food fight breaks out (started by me), and everyone is laughing and having a great time. The kitchen and dining area are a mess. The sexual tension is high among all three present. Then I said, “I win. See you, ladies, later.” And I left, again. “Did we do something wrong?” she text an hour later. “No. I had a great time.” I responded. “Are you seeing that married woman, now?” she asks. “No. Just took a shower to get the potatoes out of my hair,” I said. “We don’t understand. We had plans with you.” She texted. “Because I could leave, it made me feel safe. I could tell where you two were headed, but I needed to leave. I can see you tomorrow.” I text back. “She has to work tomorrow.” She texted. “I can see her the following day if she wants,” I said. Then I was stuck in a three-way messaging loop. After fifteen minutes I just gave up and said. “Fine! I will be over in 15. I’m not texting while I drive.” Then my son melts down over a broken printer before I can get out the door. I text back that I can’t come over because of his situation. I could feel the anger in the following text responses. Anger. I welcomed it. The passion from them made me feel better. I wasn’t happy that they were angry. I was happy about their reasons. They were valid reasons. It took two hours to calm him down. Five minutes to calm two women that had been fuming for a while once I got there. I wish more people were angry in my life right now.
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