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The Important Things in Life
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The Important Things in Life Late night thoughts - & alcohol, help me write. - & probably flirt & too, lol. Nevertheless, I appreciate the place & I appreciate the space here, to put down thoughts and concerns. My latest concern is taking on the role of caretaker. I’ve taken on the roles of: , Brother, lover, husband, coworker and friend with varying success. But the stakes are different now as care taker. The words imply that if I don’t Take Care, possibly no one else will - As I am the designated... I didn’t ask for the role, as I also didn’t ask to be born. Nevertheless - Here we are... I’m trying to do a Good Job, No - The Best Job; It’s for my Mother. She’s old, and in Harms Way and she needs help . That’s My thing! That’s My call, My Profession - In Harms Way... The stakes have Never been higher - could never be; short of my own ; which I don’t have. Nevertheless, I am hers. So, Here I am... The closest I have this honor and duty is working the recovery at Ground Zero. That too, came at a price. Similarly too, I continue with reluctance and resolve and at times tears. Nevertheless, I know I Have to be here. That this is Not to be passed on to someone else, who won’t care as much, or try as hard. This is Mine! Even though I have involved, loving, caring, siblings; Coworkers; My Co____ Everything! What makes this harder is Mom has advancing dementia. She’s 90 and rounding the turn to stage 5 D... I spend most of her time being or sounding like her “ of A Bitch”, “Bastard”, Husband; My father. & yes, we do sound, walk, talk & squack alike - He’s My father... I guess you can be both - for her. My cross to bear, it seems, is the conflagration of several conflicting things yet I can have no conflict in the Important Things in life. This journey and it’s inevitability are mine and on My Watch. Duty at Ground Zero & surviving & still protecting have steeled me for this; Yet I share this here; even here because I have no other place, firstly. Here I can unabashedly be Me. & my life, laughs and lusts could never be replete should I Not oblige The Important Things in Life. So please,<b> forgive </font></b>my misuse of this stage. It’s the only one I have on which be; Soon, once again I wil laugh & lust & jest here; I first just needed the space take care of TITIL Thank You... Wherever you are, that’s where you’ll be... |
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11/2/2020 1:15 am |
Done/written for self preservation & sanity. Hope you can get over me - I do. Wherever you are, that’s where you’ll be...
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Talk about a Double Whammy !! I cared for my mother & father for nearly 5 years till my father passed and then mom a year later !!  
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11/2/2020 4:34 am |
This is a good stage to vent even though it's not an angry vent. It helps you and from the comments here I hope you realize many of us are/have been in your boat. you have support. Make sure you look after yourself. It's not selfish, if you get down or ill she'll have no one. Make sure to use all the resources available for respite care as well.
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