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Blogs > senfully > sen's blog

I am not an apology  

senfully 55F  
618 posts
11/1/2021 7:32 am
I am not an apology

I am not an apology
started June 9th, 2021

I wanted this poem
to be a song declaring
that I am not an apology
but I am not there yet

I feel like something born then broken
spending my life apologizing
for not being able to fix myself
for not being what people wanted

Trying to stave off danger and hurt
I hurl apologies at the world
and the people in it.
I am sorry for being me.
.
.
.
One day
I want to stand here
in all my broken glory
for the world to see
and not apologize.

senfully 55F  
443 posts
11/1/2021 7:32 am

 I am not an apology
started June 9th, 2021

I wanted this poem
to be a song declaring
that I am not an apology
but I am not there yet

I feel like something born then broken
spending my life apologizing
for not being able to fix myself
for not being what people wanted

Trying to stave off danger and hurt
I hurl apologies at the world
and the people in it.
I am sorry for being me.
.
.
.
One day
I want to stand here
in all my broken glory
for the world to see
and not apologize.


senfully 55F  
443 posts
11/1/2021 7:35 am

 It is painful writing, editing, and posting. I do it, because I want to be enough. I am enough. These words are what I face the world with.


G000dbuddy 36M
1676 posts
11/1/2021 11:08 am

 sorry for being me. Why?
goodbuddy781


kamaruhl3 63M
4985 posts
11/1/2021 12:19 pm

 beautiful yet sad too. your words always make me feel.thank you so much for writing again


senfully replies on 11/1/2021 2:53 pm:
I feel better when I write. I don't know why I don't sometimes. Thank you for waiting, and for reading me. Hugs.

Traviesa333 40F  
174 posts
11/1/2021 5:36 pm

 My dear sweet Sen,
this had me in tears. i feel its words more deeply than i could explain.

all you can do is be the person you want to be, not what anyone else wants. and one day you will realize that you are wholly wonderful as the beautifully broken, perfectly imperfect woman that you are now.


MrWrong4RghtNow 57M
2439 posts
11/2/2021 12:28 am

 I'm sorry was a constant refrain from me as well, dear Sens. Your feelings do at times mirror my own and I think that is why we feel a kinship.
Whether you write to purge or expose those things that cling to your soul, or express the creative process it does indeed help you and the reader as well.
We are all wonderfully broken creatures. How we rebuild ourselves every day is a sign of resilience and resolution.
To say this passage touched my heart would be imprecise. It touched my very being. Thank you for that gift.
Thank you for sharing your journey
Thank you for being a friend.
My name is MrWrong and I approved this comment


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