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What ifs?
What ifs? Thinking about someone has got me rather a twitter-patted. They mystery, wondering if, as if, what if? All the ifs in the world tonight. But he is also becoming a very good friend, one I have needed for a long time. He doesn't know it yet, but he is helping me thru a very deep<b> depression. </font></b>I had about given up on life itself, not that I was going to do anything to end mine. But I had figured that I would just let my body do whatever it wants and not continue to fight to overcome. Tired of the infections, and the pain, tired of trying to deal with my husband's one man pity party that he has been throwing for almost two years now. I can't help him, I have tried. He has to want to do for himself, but I will no longer be his misery companion. But I am starting to trust and open up to this man, and it feels scary and good at the same time. I am feeling myself wanting to take better care of myself. To not feel so afraid of what the future might hold for me. It will be whatever it will be, but I will keep on trying my level best to overcome and get stronger. No one said that getting older is easy at all. But it beats the alternative of not aging. We all have already lost so many friends and family members, and it never gets any easier. We all need to embrace each day as if it were our last. Ann *Creative Outlets of All Forms thru Me* |
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