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Knowing Who You Are and Who You Will Never Be
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Knowing Who You Are and Who You Will Never Be As we all age, we come to find out who we are, and who we will never be. There is always room for improvement, and you take bits of information from this person, and that site and make up your own recipe that works for you. There is no absolute right or wrong way. Everyone conversely is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs. I can tell you that I am a adult with Asperger's Syndrome/Autism Spectrum. I will never be Neurotypical, so I just have to be me. I am on the emotional side of things, that is how I am wired. Probably why I am a artist. My grandson is the opposite, and what I Like about him is he is very blunt about his feelings also. I find that refreshing. What I do not understand is why does everyone seem to think that once you hit adulthood, the Autism would dissipate into thin air?. Poof! Gone like acne. Gone along with the ADHD, that rides on it's coat tails. Everyone seems to work to understand , but not us adults. When I was a , there was not the therapies, programs, and knowledge. I was dosed with high amounts of drugs, and it is no wonder when I think about it right now that I couldn't sleep and still fight it. The drugs had a short shelf life and would wear off about bedtime, and then one had to be onguard for things that happen in the dark. There is only so much formatting one can do to fit in with society, and I have learned that pretty well as far as in the work place, schools, some social situations. But I still am shy and would rather hang in a corner and just watch people. I enjoy watching the cams here, the couples. Their interactions with each other, such a variety. I enjoy the ones were they are just talking to each other too. I enjoy watching people anywhere I go, I am better being the observer. But social situations I do not get most of them. EVerything is very black and white to me, always has been. Yes I still have friends from junior high on, and I cherish those friendships very much. But I have never needed to be in a crowd or part of the "in" crowd. Give me art supplies and I will go into my own world happily. My mentor in college knew to just let me wear my headphones with my music and let me be. I would work for hours in the studio, many times not realizing the crowd that was behind me. I miss that so much. But I am going to rebuild myself. I can only be myself, whether that is liked or not. I do not know how to be anyone else, nor do I wish to be. Be good to yourself, you are an original masterpiece Ann  *Creative Outlets of All Forms thru Me* |
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