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| Blogs > rm_impish_pixie > Mischievous Musing's |
8 Days & Counting
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8 Days & Counting Day 8, I am a nonsmoker. This is my constant<b> mantra. </font></b>I am a nonsmoker, I am a nonsmoker, I am a nonsmoker. No one's dead so I must be doing ok - but I'm sure I've pissed off more people in the last 8 days than I ever have before. I don't understand why it has been sooooo hard to do this....this time. I have actually found myself "mourning" my cigarettes. How freaking sad is that? Smoking was linked to every single moment of my day. Get up, take Maggie out, have a cigg. Drive 35 min's to work...have at least 3 ciggs on the way (to of course build up for not being able to have one for at least an hour & a half). Work 8 hours, have at least 4 breaks - (not including lunch where I could cram at least 3 ciggs in). Drive 35 to 55 min's home, depending on traffic, smoke at least 3, 4, or 5 to pass the time sitting in traffic. Get home, take Maggie out, have a cigg. Cook dinner on the grill, have a beer and few ciggs while I'm waiting, eat dinner, have a cigg (because the BEST ciggs are always after a good meal!) Do the evening things, watch favorite shows, smoke between every show. Shower, sit out on porch in robe, freeze in the cold - but smoke a f**king cigarette. Get ready for bed...say g'nite to friends on line, take Maggie out for last chance pee, AND, of course....have a cigg. Is it any wonder I feel adrift in a world of no smoking? What to do with my hands, what to put in my mouth, what to do with those moments sitting in traffic? I wonder if it would easier if they just put you in a freaking coma until the urges are gone and you can function in the real world again. And then I sit here all shame-faced and think of those who have conquered much more than a puny addiction to tobacco - and I am humbled. I am a nonsmoker, I am a nonsmoker, I am a nonsmoker, I am a nonsmoker, I AM a NONsmoker.  I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn |
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Congrats... I'm a smoker...and quit for nearly 7 years. I went thru hypnotism... and it worked...but I went to a 4th of July party...and took a drag off of someones cigarette and then I bummed a cigarette...then I went and bought cigarettes...OH WELL. But when I quit.. I gained like nearly 90 lbs after 6 months of not smoking. I'm smoking again. I know I shouldn't...but I am. ~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~ 
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1/16/2006 4:07 pm |
hang in there pixie youtr doin fine its all in your mind now roaming the cyber streets of blogland  
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slide...I understand this. I smoked for 17 yrs, quit for 12. Had a vicious fight with my ex and took a drag from someone's cigg...that was the end of the end. I KNEW it - but couldn't stop myself. I've smoked for a 1 and half now - it was time to quit. Just so much harder this time than I ever thought it would be. Thanks for visiting & thanks for the support. I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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Diggy....How do I get it out of my mind? (whimpering pitifully...) I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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Thank you hinky. I refuse to go back...just taking it one hour at a time. Staying busy is quite helpful. I must have the cleanest condo in VA Beach. LOL I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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Go girl! I know friends who put aside the money they used to use on cigs and take a nice vacation every year...
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1/16/2006 11:27 pm |
Go, Pixie ... Go, Pixie ... Go, Pixie !!! I'm moral support ... I only/recently made it to day 4 and caved in  Ahh... but I feel another "bout" coming on ... altho I may have to stay in bed and find entertainment .... *twiddles thumbs*
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Jude...hmmmm...is that an invitation?  Awww Maggie...Thank you for the support - I'll root for you too. We can do it together. I started with the patch...wore it for the first 6 days (then forgot, lol) but I suppose it did help get me past that urge. The hardest part has seriously been more mental than physical. I'm gonna do it though...and YOU CAN TOO GIRL! I know it sounds wankers...but Yoga & meditation (hense the mantra) helped too.... I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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Sister Wind ~ You CAN do it! You ARE a NONsmoker!!! *sending fresh oxygen vibes* This is my blog - [blog _Safira]. There are many like it, but this one is mine. RECOMMENDED READING: A F F The Only Site For Me
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1/18/2006 10:15 pm |
Ahummmmm. I'm on day 11. 5 days were the pits, backslide. Pulling her "will" back up. Funny thing is ... I didn't plan this. There was no memo from the brain, just a ... 'OK, body here's the plan', kinda plan. There is only me, no patch, just very calmly climbing the walls. Yes ... the snow makes you do funny things. I hear sex is a great meditation, too.
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woo hoo Maggie!!! Day 11 for me too! Aren't we super proud of ourselves. No snow here...just cold, windy rain. I think we're over the "hump" though. sister fire...Thanks for that oxygen...whew...it was close there for a minute. I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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1/19/2006 10:20 am |
Yep, smoked for almost 10 years now and gave it up right before New Years. Didnt make it a "resolution" as those tend to fall through! So went to Atlantic City, gambled, drank, and smoked my tiny brains out! Then came home and went cold turkey. It sucks!!!!! Going on week three now and feeling better. Cant say its been a perfect run though, had a few times where I bummed a ciggie here and there but still hanging. Congrats to you and stay strong...........We Will Be Slaves No Longer!!!!!! I am a Non-smoker.
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1/19/2006 10:24 am |
Hahahaha i feel like im in the movie Spartacus! "I am Spartacus!" "No! I am Spartacus!!" "I am Spartacus!"" "No, I tell you, I am Spartacus!" Will the real slim shady please stand up lol. Anyway yeah, keep it up. Its like ice skating up hill, not very easy or fun at all, but not impossible. Just have to lean forward, turn your feet side......
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Well my, my, my..."The" Dasher is in my blog...and a compatriot of sorts. You're much braver than me - I don't think I could have gone cold turkey - someone definitely would have died. I waited 9 days after New Years because I didn't want it to be a "resolution" either as I'm not very good at keeping those, (perhaps it's the rebellious soul). I surly hope I do better at this than I've ever done at ice skating - but of course going up hill - I'll just have dig my little "pic's" in. (Rebellious yes...but pugnacious too.) Thanks for your kind words of inspiration. Maggie/Dasher/Impish - hell...we'll all be SPARTACUS! (isn't that a lovely trio??) giggle I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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1/20/2006 12:28 pm |
I'm soooooo feeling the effect too, even at this distance. Sister vibes??? I'm back and hanging in there for the long haul. OK, you have a patch ... I have no freaking patch!!! (kicks stomps)  Just woke up, my body decided this "I don't wanna smoke no more" WAR on my mind. I was drafted, not invited, no compromise ... (give me a plant too, wanna throw something) and no time to mentally adjust. OH, I'm not dating for awhile, nope ... only sex, why does "stop smoking" suddenly make you more horny?  OK, <jumps off soap box> toodles, girl. OH, Dasher ... congrats!!! Spartacus? Trio-Threesome? OH, this is getting better by the moment.  ::huggies::
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