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FTL
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FTL I'm at a low point today, and I oddly feel like venting on here. Today I almost shot myself, I haven't thought about doing that for years, but for whatever reason, today I lost it and just broke down. Not like anyone gives a shit. I'd like to know what happiness feels like for once. O tried to sleep in a spare bedroom last night but the mattress is too hard and I couldn't sleep. My wife couldn't care less and for some reason I still won't leave her. Maybe I'm just extra tired today, maybe I just don't care anymore. Doesn't really matter though, no one will read this. |
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Sounds like it's time to spend some (unarmed) time in nature (taking a hike, walking around a park, visiting some farmland...) or reaching out to get together with friends. Might be good for you to just shoot the breeze and talk with a friend or acquaintance, too, just to get stuff off your chest. Shooting yourself just isn't a good option. It's a permanent end to what likely is a non-permanent problem. A change of pace, scenery, context could really do you some good. I recommend hanging out with plants, nature, and animals... something I do often (at least the plant part), especially when I've had it with people.
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Also from personal experience, getting sleep, or not, makes a HUGE difference in how you feel and how/whether you can cope or keep going. Try to get some sleep, as close to 8 hours as you can, then spend some time with nature/in the wild, and/or chat with a friend. Yes, people do read. Sometimes life sucks, but there's more out there outside your current bubble. See if you can make a connection to it. Btw, what's FTL?
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Take a break, catch your breath. Hang in there.
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You are not alone in your struggles and no one's struggles are the same. I've tasted the oily cold steel and gazed of the ledge, but there is always a reason to keep going and people who do care.
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Hi, Irate. Just checking in... Have things improved any since last week? Lots of folks have crummy days around holidays, and some just have funky, bleh days. Spotted When your points total is 666 today... not as existentially down, but sometimes it's good to know you're not the only one feeling low and as if others just don't give a darn. Anyway, I'm hoping that you're ok and maybe doing a little better, finding signs of life outside the dark spot you were in last week.
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You're welcome. Glad to reach out, say "Hi", and let you know there are at least a few other folks out here who care. Take a minute for yourself. I enjoyed standing out in the warm fall sun for a bit this afternoon, listening to the leaves rustle in the breeze, watching the glow of light through some camellia blossoms, and it felt good to be alive and taking in the scene. Sometimes a few brief moments like that give a little reset to help get you through the day.
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