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Dichotomy
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Dichotomy A gentleman suggested that I need work out the dichotomy between the brutal reality of my desire to be "forced" and the rather gauzy and romantic<b> fantasy </font></b>that I seem to have floating around in my cloudy brain. His comment, certainly appreciated, reminds me that I have been in therapy for about 1/3 of my useful life here why the f*** can't I resolve these things myself? I don't have a good answer at this moment. I can speak for myself. My physical body is, in itself, a dichotomy. The chromosomes and sex organ of a man, the belief that I am supposed to be a female. Which suggests that every sexual thought I've had since I recognized this dichotomy has been, in and of itself, perhaps in conflict. As a male, I certainly am heterosexual. As a trans, I am gay. Or bisexual. You see because while I see myself as unattractive as a male I see myself, in my idealized femme state, as very attractive. Allow me to clarify so as to avoid fooling myself. I am very attractive from the waist down. I do have nice long legs and they great when I'm in stocking and heels. But then what of the rest of me that might want to be sitting at a bar (post-pandemic), crossing my stockinged legs and looking to attract some attention? Do I want that attention to come from a female, a trans or a male? And the current answer is: Yes. Which then creates several dichotomies that need to be explored further. And so I shall. Thank you for listening. |
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8/15/2021 12:51 pm |
That is quite a dilemma. Maybe you just need to resolved yourself to be bi-sexual and take it where it leads you? BTW, I do agree, you have really nice legs!
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