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How old is too old for woman
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How old is too old for woman goodbuddy781 |
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Over the past few , polyamory has become a more widely known term and practice. And perhaps inevitably, certain misconceptions and misunderstandings about what “polyamory” means have become widespread as well. It would be unfortunately difficult say which among these misunderstandings is the most common, or the most hurtful polyamorous folks. But there’s one in particular that I’d like discuss: the idea that “polyamory” means “committed couple who have casual partners on the side.” There has been much talk about “open marriage” and “open relationships” in recent , with some even paradoxically dubbing non-monogamy “the new monogamy.” In this open-marriage conception of non-monogamous relationships, there is still a central, committed (often legally married) couple, who allow one another engage in purely sexual (or at least quite casual) outside relationships. Generally, any discussion about the benefits of such practice revolves around how it strengthens and/or reinvigorates the central couple in question. I want be perfectly clear that I don’t see anything wrong with strictly sexual non-monogamy so long as it’s genuinely fulfilling and consensual for all involved, including the outside partners. But for those of us living in polyamorous families, it can be incredibly frustrating when people use those concepts of open marriage make assumptions about the structure of our relationships. Because we live in such a monogamy-centered society, it makes sense that many people can only conceive of non-monogamy in what ultimately still amounts monogamous terms. There is a common misconception that a polyamorous relationship is really no different from an open-relationship agreement: one committed couple, with some lighthearted fun on the side. But the word “polyamory,” by definition, means loving more than one. Many of us have deeply committed relationships with more than one partner, with no hierarchy among them and no core “couple” at the heart of it all. , this notion that there must be one more important relationship, one true love, feels a lot like people looking at same-sex couples and thinking that one person must be the “man” in the relationship and the other must be the “woman.” After all, both of these misunderstandings result from people trying graft their normative conceptions of love and relationships onto people who are partnering in non-normative ways. It seems that it is somewhat easy for many people to acknowledge that humans are capable of loving one person and still enjoying sex with others (assuming, of course, that the terms of their relationship make such behavior acceptable). But it is much harder for people to think outside the fairy-tale notion of “the one” and imagine that it might be possible to actually romantically love more than one person simultaneously. goodbuddy781
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Do you view marriage as a goal? There should be caution against seeing marriage as some future goal which you must reach in order to have purpose or happiness in life. You are a woman who is free to experience the world around you like women decades before you could not. That is a great privilege to be fully embraced, not one to be quickly surrendered to a new tax status. Rushing to get married, often with ill-informed and misconstrued expectations, is one of the reasons divorce rates are so remarkably high. In divorce courts across America, countless times the reason for the split is, "He changed" or "She is just a different person." These "irreconcilable differences" can't be entirely avoided, but there is plenty you can guard against by simply enjoying what the single life has to offer. As you age, what you want from life evolves, what you want from relationships grows clearer, who you want to be and what you want to do with life can take drastic new shape and form. Granted, plenty of people marry at a young age and are not doomed to divorce. But just because it can work, doesn't mean it will be an easy road. goodbuddy781
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Do you want to get married because you think it will make you happy? Granted, marriage can bring happiness, but to seek fulfillment in the institution of marriage will quickly prove lacking. The view of marriage as a means to get something is faulty from the start. Marriage is primarily about giving, even when you may not feel like it. Any 'getting'—be it happiness, security or companionship—is secondary to what you are able to give to your partner. goodbuddy781
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Do you want to get married because you are lonely? There is nothing amiss about wanting companionship, but to look at a partner as the answer to loneliness will only result in great disappointment. Research shows that the happiest couples are those who feel they both have something valuable to contribute to the relationship. If your main motivation is filling a need for companionship, then all that you are bringing to the table are needs goodbuddy781
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When you meet someone online, it can be difficult to establish whether he is genuinely interested in you, or if he's playing the field. The words you hear might sounds right, but here are four signs that the man you're talking to online might be playing you. He's a skilled sweet-talker A player can be a very skilled sweet-talker. He can talk his way out of almost anything. You might be upset with him, but after he does a bit of talking you'll be thinking he's a wonderful guy again. A sweet-talker will not bring up sex and intimacy because he wants you to think that he's interested in your mind and feelings. He will use his charm to boost your ego. He ghosts Ghosting is the act of breaking up with someone, or cutting off communication, without actually saying the words. This allows the person ghosting to come and go as he pleases. He may taper off texts and never be heard from again, but he may pop up every few months, or even yearly, looking for a bit of fun. When he gets what he wants, or realizes he won't, he will disappear again until his next attempt. He doesn't ask about you A man who isn't interested in you won't ask anything about you. He won't ask what you did during the three days you didn't talk or how you're feeling. He may want you to carry the conversation and enjoy talking about himself, but beyond that he's really only talking to you to see if you're open to doing what he wants or to kill some time. A man who doesn't ask anything about you is someone who is looking to be entertained while he's bored. He runs hot and cold A player may run hot and cold leaving you feeling like you never know how he feels about you. One day he might talk about having a future with you, but the next he may act like he just wants to be friends. If his feelings are constantly changing, he's probably not interested developing a relationship with you. Meeting a player online isn't uncommon. People enjoy being able to play the field. If you are interested in a finding a relationship, it's important to be able to recognize the traits of an online player. goodbuddy781
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You Don't Feel the Need to Talk About the Big Stuff You should feel comfortable talking about tough topics with your significant other. If you don't feel like you can talk to him about anything but superficial topics, you're likely dating the wrong man for you. Over the course of a few months plans and topics that are important to you should come up, and you should feel comfortable discussing them honestly. If those topics haven't come up in conversation you may be afraid of rejection, or you may, subconsciously, not see your man in your future. Either way, it's a big red flag that your man isn't the man for you in the long run goodbuddy781
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Other comments from woman This has happened to me once. I was the one putting all the effort to try and communicate but he never called me unless he was bored. If someones does this to you just block and delete. If someone is really into you they'll find ways to communicate with you, if they don't then they are not worth your while. goodbuddy781
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His texts are full of excuses You were understanding when the man you're interested in couldn't text much while he was in school or working on a special project, but now that he has a break he's still not texting. What's up with that? The truth is that he probably wasn't too busy to text you during that time, but it made for a good excuse. When you start texting him more in hopes of connecting again, he'll have another excuse ready. Maybe he's been sick, catching up with friends, or looking for a new job. When a man is e-maintaining you, the excuses will keep coming because he doesn't want to invest too much time in you and they buy him time until he's ready to talk to you again. . He rarely gives, but is eager to take Someone who is e-maintaining you will come around when he needs something he knows you will give him. He has already learned that no matter how long he disappears for, you will always forgive and forget. He probably doesn't feel much guilt for coming around when he wants something. He also won't feel bad about taking off when you need something. If you are upset and want to discuss a situation with him, he won't have the time. E-maintaining isn't something that someone will admit to doing. When someone wants to be part of your life, they will be. No one goes weeks without checking their phone unless they are incapacitated. They simply choose who they will and will not respond to. goodbuddy781
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e-maintained. His texts are few and far between You met a guy you connected with and started texting. Things might be hot and heavy for a while and then things slow down to the point where you rarely hear from him. Every time he texts you seem to pick up right where you left off. Days pass without hearing from him again. You might get worried and send texts to make sure he's okay, but you still don't hear from him. Days or weeks may pass before he finally gets back to you and when he does the response is very nonchalant. He won't seem concerned that you were worried about his well-being. He'll tell you he's been busy and ask how you are as if he hasn't been MIA for ten days. His texts are emotional When he finally texts you back, he might be emotional. He'll tell you how much he missed you. He'll be sweet and romantic and you'll immediately forget about how upset you were about his disappearing act. That is, until he disappears again the next day. That's exactly what someone who e-maintains women will do. He'll come back to show affection or make a big gesture and then disappear again. This is how he ensures that he's on your mind until he's ready to come back and do it all over again. Remember that as much as he says he misses you, loves your company, or even loves you he still doesn't make the effort to text more often. goodbuddy781
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He compliments what you do, not just how you look. Most men enjoy telling a woman how great they look. However, if they are really into a woman, they will also compliment her about all the little things she does that they love. Not only will they say that you're beautiful, they'll also praise you for things like your kindness, your humor, or your intelligence. He tries to figure out what makes you tick. If men are only interested in a superficial relationship, the conversations they carry tend to reflect that. They don't really try to get to know you; they may not even ask you questions at all, opting to talk about themselves nonstop instead. However, if they're in the company of a woman they are starting to develop serious feelings for, they want to learn about what makes her tick. So, if a guy is getting serious about you, they may ask questions about your past, your dreams for the future, and what things in the present bring you the most joy. He invests time in you and he's reliable about it. If a man is serious about a woman, he prioritizes his time so that she has a part of it. If he says he'll call, he does. If he makes plans with you, he doesn't flake. Even on especially hectic weeks, he'll make a serious effort to at least touch base with the special lady in his life. When crazy schedules are driving you two apart, he'll be proactive in making sure that you spend some quality time together. goodbuddy781
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Being yourself – and embracing the way that you are – will also help to ensure that you attract the right person. Self-confidence that grows out of an acceptance of yourself can make you irresistible to a kindred spirit, someone of like mind and interests. If you project a phony sense of self-assurance, though, you might attract someone who likes that persona even if it has nothing to do with who you really are. And, when it comes right down to it, you'll never be happy no matter who you attract into your life unless you love yourself. goodbuddy781
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Other comments from woman 3 relationships are hard work, if you want it to last. sex is important, but should not be the only thing on one's mind. i like a combination of both, great sex, and intimacy. goodbuddy781
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Other comments from woman 2 I think if you really love someone you respect them and what ever they want ..You and that partner work it out together..Love and trust is important...I do know that s*x is a good thing when two people act on it and people abuse it too...Like that is the only thing they want from me or they are using me to get what they want and then they leave me for someone else and get the same thing from them...Usually people wait till they are married... goodbuddy781
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Other comments from woman 1 I think sex is usually the driving force but if you have nothing in common apart from that things will get strained and the relationship will cool. As a women I feel I have to tempt my lover in all sorts of ways but we would have to have similar outlooks on life. goodbuddy781
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People sometimes confuse intimacy with sex. Being intimate with someone is much more than just having sexual relations. Physical intimacy can develop rather quickly but intimacy on a deeper emotional level takes time. Sex is a temporary fix but it cannot fulfill the need for true intimacy. People that engage in superficial relationships such as those that are centered on sex, often fear commitment. They long for closeness but fear being hurt. The fear makes it difficult to become intimate on any other level other than a sexual level. They opt for lust rather than love so they can experience closeness without allowing their emotions to be involved in order to avoid being hurt. A relationship without love and true intimacy does not stand much of a chance. Everyone needs to love and be loved. Love encompasses all levels from physical to emotional and even spiritual. In order to experience a multi-level type of love, we need to let go of the fear of being hurt and allow love to happen completely. There is always the potential for hurt but if we do not allow ourselves to open up to that potential, we cannot truly experience love. goodbuddy781
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Other comments from woman 3 Oh! Yes.. For a Ldr to actually work, I feel lots of effort/patience has to be made/agreed upon by the parties involved. Ldrs has worked for many, it depends also on if the two Individuals are really into each other ... Trust I would say is the key word for a Ldr to succeed. For e.g it's difficult to know what the other person is doing on a daily basis... If there are doubts that's where a problem begin and go down hill. I feel to enhance a Ldr, its best to talk on a daily basis not mainly at nights and if one party can travel to visit the other in the midst, there's more chance of the relationship been a success goodbuddy781
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Other comments from woman 2 LDRs doomed to fail at the beginning simply bcoz both doesnt have the chemistry and bonds together to be in reality.. LDR is only meant to those who are committed to make things happen and havin the positive thought of possible things will achieve no matter what it takes. People who are in an LDR relationship that dont see themselves to be with the person from the other side of the world or see themselves to travel an hour or so to be with the person they thought they want to share their life with is the one who fails from the start its bcoz they themselves have no driven passion to pursue somethin,they are lack of confidence to try a new journey,or afraid to see new things ahead. LDR works only to those who have compassion in building a relationship with hopes and beliefs,to those who only see themselves to acquire a new facets of life,challenges ahead and facing the unknown. The only key for an LDR relationship is embracing the circumstances and nothing to fear of failure that things might not work out. Always remind yourself that what u want and what u dream about can only achieve if u are willing to do so and to undergo any trials along the way. LDR works if u have set goals in it,not if u dont.. Simple..  goodbuddy781
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Other comments from woman 1 It take two to tango..as the saying goes... It's has worked for many of my friends who are happily married and living overseas and they celebrate more than a decade of marriage... It's in the man's hand as they go looking for a somethings quick and then intimacy too plays a roll LDR who lives across thousands of miles can't be able to do that... BUT that's the best relationship as you have a great foundation and then comes the happy hour intimacy to play and yes that's a bonus... But some woman and men jump out of their relationship way too soon... And that exactly where they find the wrong kind partner...you will be even married but in time they keep looking for something else and then your back in the same position. A decade I was a single never dated nor had any form of relationship with a gentleman...but I was pressured by my friends and I finally agreed and came in to this site... Was never active... But open my self to the world nearly two months now and there were more than 1200 response from gentleman even without a my pictures... But was not my choice and ignored and last June nearly end of the month a picture popped up on my matches and the very moment I saw it I had this feeling this is it...and I kept looking at the picture and I read him and what I could gather from the image was we both were looking for the same thing and once and for all... So twice I ignored it but then I realized if I don't go a step toward to find my partner he might not know I exist as I didn't have a picture... So I did the ultimate and wrote to himself and he wrote back we communicated few days on site. He kept sending his number to be contacted one to one still I insist that we write on our personal email...and then I shared and image of mine after few day.. And finally we were chatting on what'sapp...then he wanted to talk I was shy as I have not done this in ages... But after few days we spoke to...we liked each other and week passed we were like teenagers... But two weeks to it I started senses his eagerness dropping even though he still wanted to come see me...and then came with the ultimate words ...and even when I reminded him that those words should not be said easily...I wore pressistantly confirming...and current day he is extremely missed on my what'sapp account... I wanted to on one to one so if there are things to discuss and matter around we find method & ways to handle the situation.. But nothing.... So I am back in my little world... Knowing finding true love is difficult and it take a great deal for the gentleman...if you need intimacy within weeks then it's something build on that activity...you will put up with that person for some time due to the greed and fun your having...but there comes a day you two will seek others and get board... My personal statement is Long distance relationship CAN work... But you should be committed and dedicated to your goal and not deviate from temptations.... If my friend who I was talking realize that reckless he puts him self to find someone quick near by will have a good chance but the other partner too be having the same appetite for intimacy... Heart aches are bound to happen there and cheating... Loyalty is limited to short time span... I wish him good luck...as for me I want to meet people as pen pals now.. I don't want to go finding love because I know exactly what it is that I want it it's no longer with me. goodbuddy781
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LDRs can fall prey to trust issues. Not being able to see someone or know what they are doing, or not knowing the people that the other person is hanging out with, can leave the other party wondering if the other person is really where he is or doing what he says he is doing. LDRs require a lot of faith and if you are the type of person who finds it hard to trust someone, this could easily lead to doubt. Reassuring a doubting partner is also almost impossible to do the phone, which further adds to the problem. A long distance relationship has worked for numerous couples in the past, and there are many couples who are making it work right now. However, the numbers do not lie. For every couple who succeeds in making an LDR worth their while, ten more end up in bitterness, resentment, and regret. Before entering an long distance relationship, it is important to remember that LDRs require double the amount of work, understanding, and appreciation that normal relationships require. If making a normal relationship work has taken its toll on you, ask yourself whether you can take the pressure of an long distance relationship before committing to one. goodbuddy781
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Other comments from men 2 Forget the comediennes and comedians. Observe your social circles. In my social circles to date, there have been mildly funny men and women, up to about one or two in each of ten people in the room, more-or-less, randomly. Some guys garner a guffaw from the crowd, and in one large circe (diameter of several dozens of metres) there were three men who could get a guffaw every meeting, about two good ones each time. Women in this circle, however, were lacking in making jokes. One woman was witty, but in a very mild and non-confrontational way. There was a third guy who had good stories, and a quiet guy who was subtly humoured. The third guy had got stuck in his stories at around age 50, and could not learn more new ones. So he kept repeating them. The quiet guy died. Nice guys never finish. So four to one in that circle, in favour of funny men over funny women. In all my other circles combined, I remember two guys who were always entertaining, sometimes via humour, but more likely in a challenging way. I remember two guys who were wildly funny with everything they said. In these "other" circles, there were two women I had the pleasure of knowing them for their senses of humour. One was wildly funny, actually the only woman I have ever known personally who said something wildly funny each time she opened her mouth. The other one was more subdued in her humour, she was kinder and less biting in her jokes. This latter one was struggling to survive cancer, and for at least 25 years she has been winning the battle. But it has been a bitter, depressing, angering, and unfair fight she has felt she has had to wage. She lost 98 percent of her faith in god through this ordeal. So in the other circles, combined, the ratio was four to two. For the men again. Now. I don't thing men have better senses of humour or women are more withdrawn and shy, or more afraid of performing in front of crowds. I also don't think that women would feel the pressure to act "feminine" in front of people which includes acting on stage, but not as a comedienne. I think it all boils down to Asperger's. Asperger's is a form of mental disease, which manifests in many ways, and one of them is not being able to tell how the action of the A's guy is going to affect other humans. This is a huge difficulty, for then the A's say sometimes really inadequate things in crowds, simply because they don't have an innate feeling and premonition to know, which other, normal people do have, to know how the crowd will be affected. But humour is a behaviour which can be learned through hard work and practice, and it is still easier for a Asperger's sufferer to learn than to learn how to behave otherwise. The social circles stuff showed to me that as a norm, men have better senses of humour. The fact that in my samples where I observed the humour-stuff dispersion among the population there was no pressure to conform to any social norm of expectations re: femininity and shyness, shows that the true self of humans makes men more frequently humour-producing than it makes women that. At around a three-to-one ration. The fact that the trhee-to-one ratio gets blown up into a hundred-to-one ratio once we talk professionals or public performers of humour, it shows that having Asperger's, and thus once having it, then the ticket to gaining acceptance of society at large IS via producing humour. Oh, many more men suffer from Asperger's than women, I don't know if I have already said that. goodbuddy781
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Other comments from men 1 Ok so where has the world got to when we judge a person by what they look like or what they say If a person can make you laugh that is a talent that alot of us dont have stop talking about the difference just enjoy the fact that without people able to do it the world be worse off than it is already goodbuddy781
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Other comments from woman 4 OK I see where you're coming from but the question of women being funny is not the same as why more women aren't comediennes. You covered that well but the question of can women be funny is broader than that. The truth of the matter is that men love funny women. Peruse the men's ads on this site and you will see that the woman they all seem to want is the same: kind, intelligent, loyal and with a sense of humour. When I'm not typing long diatribes in the forums  , I am quite funny and men always seem charmed by it. But this goes beyond our current times and back into history. The great courtesans, to whom men paid unreasonable sums of money for the pleasure of their company, were almost invariably quite witty. There are examples of unfunny ones but they tend to have been supplanted by a funnier woman eventually. And courtesanry is not just about sex but often women were desired just for their charming company. There is certainly no historical presidence for women having less of a sense of humour or being less funny than men.It is my opinion, however, that women hold themselves back in order to stay "beneath" the man. This goes for humour as well. There is also the perception that the male ego cannot handle being teased and this is true of a very few and very unworthwhile men. Mainly, men seem to like powerful women: bright, educated, funny, alive. And they may be attracted to a somewhat attractive woman without these things but I think this is short-lived. For those women who are not funny, I believe it is women's *perception* of men - and of what women "should" be - that holds them back.  goodbuddy781
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Other comments from woman 3 I think its a different story if women are funny, or if they are comedians.. And most men do say that they want a funny woman.. but my experience is that if you are funny, say in public, is that the odd male will cringe and want you to stop.. I think a lot of men who express that they want their woman to have a sense of humour, is actually that they want them to laugh at their jokes.. courtesans included.. No, I totally agree with this article, that a woman is permitted to be witty, but not actually raucusly funny, or she will alienate either the men or the women.. depending on her angle. So Comedien/ne is just another job afffected by s*xual prejudice/oppression. goodbuddy781
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Other comments from woman 2 i've just talked to my 22 year old son about this. . . hes at university and knows quite a few funny women . . he says he thinks they're great and loves spending time with them but says he just doesnt feel attracted to them . . even when they're hot. to be funny and witty takes intelligence . . men dont like women to be more intelligent than they are . . most women understand this on some level. without blaming mothers . . do mothers teach their daughters to hold themselves back . . while sons are encouraged to be loud and push themselves forward? i've noticed that a lot of funny, witty, women that i know personally as well as women who make a living from comedy have gone to single sex schools, especially catholic schools run by nuns. and as for men who want a women with a 'gsoh' . . i get the impression they want an audience, someone who will laugh at their jokes rather than the other way around. goodbuddy781
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Other comments from woman 1 I personally can be very funny and very serious in one min when the situation needs it. That is a question of education, environment and .. inner personality, not a question of colour, age, gender or else.. there are bitter and sad people that see the life through an empty glass all the time, and the others just have understood early that life is a BIG JOKE itself.. I can tell that i am very sensitive too, but i always see the fun in everything, even the worse situations can be turned off to something good and fun if you wear the right glasses after all.. i have had people laughing around me at funerals several times, just saying, and that was not because i did not behave or was disrespectuous at all, no sarcasms either.. i am a nice and decent lady, that is just my way to compensate for dramas. Life is very short, that's up to us all to make the best of it.. there is no second chance ! As for the female comedians, they are a real plus and can be hilarious (french ones are), when they have got that special attitude and are able to make us think deeply and in the meanwhile, have a good laugh. their humor is generally less vulgar than men lol goodbuddy781
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