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Conversations in the Dark
Conversations in the Dark A long long time ago, I had a blog on here before. It started much like this one, largely silent. I started it because there was an attractive woman who in her profile said she was here just to blog… and I wanted to attract her attention. While my first post were terrible and forced I slowly discovered the power of just having a place to let me thoughts out. There was a power in the anonymity and no one knowing me. I felt I could say anything, be anything, be myself in a way that I couldn’t in my day to day world. Eventually I got the attractive woman’s attention and we became friends, and I made more friends and suddenly I had hundreds of friends and followers and posts and with it came a feeling of expectations and eventually feeling I had to be careful with what I said and who I would offend. It even became competitive - trying to stay active and at the top of the “rankings” and the next thing I knew this place of escape became wor It had lost most of its joy and purpose. So one day, I just deleted it all and moved on. Every now and then I would pop back on for a moment. Write a few posts and disappear again - neither feeling the joy of being “popular” not the freedom of feeling unknown. I am writing again - for now - clear on what I . To be largely unknown but not totally invisible. To have a place to write and ideally find a few friends. The attractive woman I met here - we are still friends all these years later although she know longer writes. She has such a beautiful soul. We don’t talk often and she is some 3000 miles away so we do not see one another but I was thinking of her just now and of this place and of where it started. I was thinking of the things I miss and the things I don’t miss. I would like to say I miss having a place to write and just express myself - but I could do that in a journal locked away in a closet. What I think I truly do miss the most was finding just a few people who resonated with me so deeply. People who knew what was inside me better than my best friends did - and yet I could be myself. What motivates you to write? What kinds of friendships have you developed? Any big surprises? |
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